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Hii ndo raha ya kuwa na fweza!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Nesindiso Sir, Dec 3, 2007.

  1. N

    Nesindiso Sir JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 3, 2007
    Joined: Oct 31, 2007
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    An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months.

    Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!

    The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

    He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.

    If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

    However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You'll f**k her again!"
     
  2. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Dec 3, 2007
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
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    ...But I have noted that her mother is more beautiful than her, therefore if you don't object, I'll prefer to 'sleep' with your wife rather than your daughter....how much would you take for your wife?...indecent proposal...:)
     
  3. Buswelu

    Buswelu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Dec 4, 2007
    Joined: Aug 16, 2007
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    The man reply you bastard....idiot shut the **** up.
     
  4. J

    Jafar JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 4, 2007
    Joined: Nov 3, 2006
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    Very few "poor" husbands will dare to use Buswelu's good words.
     
  5. Mtaalam

    Mtaalam JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Dec 5, 2007
    Joined: Oct 1, 2007
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    ha ha ha haaaaa
     
  6. Kuntakinte

    Kuntakinte JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 5, 2007
    Joined: May 26, 2007
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    Bora ya hiyo Angalia hii Hapa imetokea Bongo.

    Mzee mmoja wa Kichaga ambaye alikuwa mkali sana kwa binti yake anaamka asubuhi na kutaarifiwa kwamba binti yake ana mimba!

    Mzee wa Kichaga: "Aithee we Manka, nakwenda kazini, nikirudi leo ni lazima uniambie ni nani kafanya uchafu huu" Anafoka na kuondoka kuelekea ofisini. Mchana anapigiwa simu na Mama Manka na kuambiwa kwamba yule jamaa aliyempa mimba bintiye yupo nyumbani anamsubiri kwa mazungumzo!

    Mzee anachukua panga lake na kulinoa kabisaaa kwa ajili ya kwenda kumteketeza mwanaharamu huyo. Kufika nyumbani mambo yanakuwa hivi:

    Kijana aliyempa mimba binti: Mmmh Mzee ni kweli mi ndiye nimempa mimba binti yako, na kusema kweli sina mpango wa kumuoa. Lakini akizaa mtoto wa kiume nitakupa US$ 1 million na ghorofa Kariakoo kisha nachukua mtoto. Akizaa mtoto wa kike nakupa US$ 1 million na duka Sinza! Lakini je mzee, ikitokea bahati mbaya mimba hii ikaharibika itakuwaje?

    Mzee wa Kichaga: Aithee babaangu itabidi tu umpe mimba nyingine, hakuna jinsi!

    Cheers.
     
  7. Bubu Msemaovyo

    Bubu Msemaovyo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Dec 5, 2007
    Joined: May 9, 2007
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    KuntaKinte
    Mbona ziko sawa lugha tu tofauti. Kunta vipi Bwana??????
     
  8. Kuntakinte

    Kuntakinte JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Dec 5, 2007
    Joined: May 26, 2007
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    Ha ha ha! Mkubwa Bubu msemaovyo siku hizi hata kwenye vikao vya vyama vyetu akija Mgeni wa nje ya Nchi lazima anawekwa Mkalimani maana wajumbe wetu wengi mulemule tehe tehe!

    Mtaalam! Good Post Brother.
     
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