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Hii maneno asome mwanamke pekee……………….!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Feb 28, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Hebu nikuulize wewe mwanamke. Je umewahi kumficha mumeo au mpenzi wako kitu chochote kuhusu maisha yako ya zamani au ya sasa? Je mumeo au mpenzi wako ameshawahi kukushangaza na siri ya mambo yake ya zamani? Inawezekana jibu likawa ndiyo au hapana, lakini kuanzia leo ningependa ujifunze jambo moja kwamba ni siri gani unatakiwa kuzitoa na ni siri gani hutakiwi kuzitoa. Usijidanganye kwamba unaweza kuficha kila siri, lakini usijiamini kwamba kwa sababu unaitwa ‘honey' ukitoa kila siri utaweza kunyoosha uhusiano wenu, thubutuu…………….!

    Lengo la kuficha jambo ni kwa ajili ya kujilinda. Unaweza kudhani kwamba, kwa kusema siri zako za zamani za masuala yako ya mapenzi utaonekana shujaa utaonekana mwadilifu au utaonekana mcha Mungu. Hapana, kuna wakati kusema kila jambo, kunakufanya ushindwe kujilinda na kumlinda mwenzi wako. Kuna mambo ambayo huna budi kuyatoa, kama siri uliyonayo inaweza kuyumbisha mustakabali wa uhusiano wenu au kuweza kuvunja ndoa yenu. Mtaalamu wa uhusiano na mtunzi wa kitabu cha Is He Mr. Right? Mira Kirshenbaum, anasema, hata mambo ya zamani ambayo yanaweza kuleta athari katika uhusiano au maisha ya ndoa (madeni sugu, magonjwa ya kurithi, wapenzi wa zamani, tabia mbaya ambazo ulikuwa ukifanya zamani) inabidi visemwe, kutegemea tu nafasi kama vitakuja kufahamika au la. Lakini kumbuka, kama jambo linafahamika kwa zaidi ya mtu mmoja, siyo siri, litakuja kumfikia mwenzio tu.

    Kuna wakati wanandoa wanaona kama wamechelewa kutoa siri na hivyo hunyamaza na baadae siri inapofichuka watu wanaanza kuchanganyikiwa. Lakini ukweli ni kutojua tu, pale unapokumbuka siri, ambayo una uhakika itafahamika kwa mwenzio, iseme, usisubiri. Tatizo la siri, ni kuwa huwa inaumiza sana. Kwa binadamu wengi kufuta uongo au usaliti siyo jambo rahisi. Mtu aliyefichwa siri anajiona kwamba alisalitiwa, kwa hiyo hujenga chuki kubwa. Hata kama unaona siri yako ni kuhusu jambo dogo kwako, tafadhali usimfiche mwenzio. Kama ukweli wa jambo hilo utakuja kujulikana baadae, madhara yanaweza kuwa mabaya zaidi kuliko kama ungekuwa umemwambia mapema. Sio kwamba mwenzi wako anahitaji kupata habari ili mshirikiane kutatatua jambo lililo mbele yenu, lakini pia anahitaji kwa ajili ya kujua kama unamwamini.

    Ipo kanuni moja kuhusu mapenzi inasema unavyozidi kutotaka kuitoa siri ndivyo unavyoiombea ijitokeze ghafla na kuanikwa hadharani. Vipi kuhusu mpenzi wako wa zamani kwamba anaweza akajitokeza ghafla ikajulikana kwa mumeo? Kama unahisi kwamba mwenzi wako anaweza kuja kupata habari za mpenzi huyo wa zamani, basi hakikisha kwamba unamweleza kabla hajatambua. Kujisafisha na wapenzi wako wa zamani ni jambo zuri. Bali jaribu kuwa mwangalifu, si lazima katika maelezo yako ukaanza kumsimulia mwenzio hata u.pu.u.z.i mliokuwa mkifanya wakati wa mapenzi yenu. Ni wajinga tu ndio wanaofanya hivyo. Wenye hekima husema tu ukweli kwamba, waliwahi kuwa na uhusiano na huyu au yule na fulani na fulani. Hata kama ni kumi, wataje, ili mwenzio aamue mwenyewe, usijidanganye kwamba, hatakuja kujua. Watangulie wambea mapema kabisaa, ili wakija kumnong'oneza awaambie, ‘ninajua'

    Wapo wanawake wengine huyumbisha uhusiano na weza wao au ndoa zao kwa kufukunyua mambo madogo madogo. Si vyema sana kuleta udadisi kwenye mambo madogo madogo ambayo hata hayana maana wakati mwingine. Usimsumbue mwenzio kutokana na gharama ya simu au kamera yake, hasa kama na wewe hutaki akuulize kuhusu bei ya mkoba au kidani chako……………..
     
  2. BAGAH

    BAGAH JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 28, 2012
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    ooops!nimesoma akat mm wakiume
    nimesoma maana topic zako ni za ukweli...
    hii ni ndefu ila imenyooka aise!
    naona hata cc wakiume itatufaa!
     
  3. Kennedy

    Kennedy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Kuna dada moja ana ugonjwa wa sickle cell,huwa mtu akimtaka anaficha ugonjwa wake maana mpenzi huenda akakimbia. Anafanya hivyo maana ukweli baadhi ya watu huwa wanakimbia unaposemwa.Japo ulitaka wadada wachangie naomba radhi kwa hili ni kwa nia njema.
     
  4. Asabaya

    Asabaya JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Mie ntamwambia japo litamuuma,sababu afadhali ajue kutoka kwangu kuliko akiambiwa na mtu mwengine....
     
  5. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #5
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Nilisema wasome wanawake, lakini sikukataza wanaume kuchangia........................LOL
    Ahsante kwa maoni yako, na uwe na siku njema.
     
  6. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Heshima yako mzee wangu a.k.a Gustavo!Nashukuru kwa somo hili pia inabidi kuwa makin kutambua muda na wakati muafaka wa kutoa hizo siri!pia kuna vitu common km mtu kuwa na mtoto mahali ambapo baadhi ya wanaume huwa wanaficha na kutosema kbs au kusema anaye 1 badae keshaoa unashangaa unaletewa watoto hata 3 kutoka kwa mama tofauti tofauti so hata wanaume hii topic inawahusu sn!na ni kweli sio kila siri ni yakutoa kuna zingine badala ya kujenga zinabomoa ina hitaji kujua faida na hasara kabla!
     
  7. Mtalingolo

    Mtalingolo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Kumbe wadada pekeyao ndio wanaotakiwa kuyajua hayo, ngoja nisepe zangu...
     
  8. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Why bother na mambo ya siri wakati you know you are not in a seroius relationshp?
    When you know the persn you are with is an imporntant peson, and you would not want to loose him/her then you arm your self.
    Siri au habari za zamani mtu kujia mapema nikama
    -magonjwa au condition significant hasa yanayohitaji sacrifice ya mwenzako. Mf kutahiriwa/kutotahiriwa, historia ya ugumba, ukimwi, albino nk
    -ndugu jamaa ambao wanetemewa kuinfuence mitazamo yenu kama ni mtot wa rais, au ana mjomba anaewapangia utaratibu nk.
    -kama kuna fast sinificant relatioships ambazo hazitegemewi kuisha kabisa kama mzazi mwenza, mtoto, mpenzi za zamani anaekufuata bado
    -investments, hali ya pesa, madeni/ mikopo, kazi yako au zako.
     
  9. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Duh!Kuna ukweli hapo,ngoja nione wanavyochangia labda naweza pata mke humu!
     
  10. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #10
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Nakubaliana na wewe, lakini mara nyingi kufichuka kwa siri hakuwaumizi wanaume kama inavyokuwa kwa wanawake.
    Niliposema wasome wanawake nilikuwa naweka msisitizo kwa sababu wanawake ndio wahanga wakubwa katika mambo ya kufichuka kwa siri. Kumbuka kwamba wanawake ni wepesi kusamehe na kusahau, lakini wanaume wanaweza kusema wamesamahe lakini subiri bomu litakalokujia................Utajuta!
    Kama si kuletewa msururu wa watoto wa nje ya ndoa, basi ndoa yenu itatafunwa na nyumba ndogo kila kona, mara nyingi wanaume ni watu wa ku-revange! in silence!
     
  11. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Unajua jamii ina ujinga wake,imechagua baadhi ya mambo na kuyaita ya aibu na yasiyoelezeka au siri.Mambo haya yametesa na kuua watu,ninayojua mimi familia kuwa na magonjwa ya kurithi,madeni,kuwahi kuwa kahaba na yote yanayoitwa ya siri au aibu hakuna kitu kama hicho,tujifunze kupendana bila masharti na tujitambue na tuishi maisha ya furaha kweli bila kuhofia yaliyopita ambayo hayana maana zaidi ya kujifunza kupitia hayo na kuboresha uhusiano wetu!
     
  12. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Nimekuelewa vizuri baba,
    Nashukuru kwa somo zuri.
     
  13. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #13
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Kaka yangu weee..........Ni wachache sana wanaoyajua hayo, kuishi katika jamii hii iliyofinyangwa na elimu ya mapokeo ni kazi kweli kweli.
    Kumwambia mtu wa leo kwamba tukio likishapita linakuwa sawa na mzoga atakushangaa na pengine kukuita taahira. ndio sababu tunajaribu kutoa maarifa haya kulingana na namna jamii itakavyopokea, hatupotoshi, lakini tunaonyesha njia ya kuepuka kukanyagana....................
     
  14. Mpatanishi

    Mpatanishi JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Kweli ww ni mchambuzi.
     
  15. Amyner

    Amyner JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Mtambuzi kuna siri ambazo ukimuweka mtu bayana anaweza hata akabadili maamuzi ya kuwa na wewe hata kama hilo jambo lilitokea kitambo.
    Ila mwenzenu huwa naona wanaume mna "dark secrets" nyingi mno... Mi bora hata nisizijue as long as hazina DIRECT EFFECT kwangu.
     
  16. Maundumula

    Maundumula JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Duh soo
     
  17. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Ninayajua kabisa uliyoyasema na ninayaunga mkono!Nilichojaribu kuelezea ni uozo wa jamii yetu!
     
  18. mgeni10

    mgeni10 JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Huwezi changia usiposoma

    Ni jambo zuri kutoa taarifa mwenyewe kuliko ikiletwa na mtu mwingine

    Maana huwa wana i edit kwaajili ya manufaa yao
     
  19. Kabakabana

    Kabakabana JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 28, 2012
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    Umenipa hii siri kwa wakati muafaka
     
  20. T

    THK DJAYZZ JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 29, 2012
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