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hii kitu ipo hapa kwetu?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by carmel, Feb 8, 2010.

  1. carmel

    carmel JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Jana nilikuwa naangalia movie moja inaitwa A diary of a tired black man, niliipenda na ikanifikirisha sana. inaelezea jinsi african-american women wanavyoharibu relationship zao kwa ajili tu ya matatizo waliyopitia katika maisha yao. Yani vitu kama kukosa malezi ya baba na mama (kwamba majority wamelelewa na mzazi mmoja hasa mama, so hawakuwa na father figure), pia previous relationship kama zilikuwa abusive, wanacarry that anger to a next relationship, na pia type ya marafiki wa kike walio nao, wengi wao ni ambao wamefail kwenye r/ship zao kwa sababu kama hizo na hivyo wanaadvise vibaya. Hii inasababisha hata kama mwanamke kapata mwanaume mzuri asiye na tatizo lolote kusuffer kwenye r/ship na kuamua kuondoka. Nimelileta hapa ili kupata mawazo ya wengine maana kwa mawazo yangu mimi nadhani hili linakuja kwa jamii yetu kwa kasi pia, tunashughudia divorce nyingi kwa sasa, na hata kama siyo divorce, ndoa nyingi zina migogoro, watu wanaishi kwa machale zaidi kila mtu akiwa mguu ndani mguu nje. Watu wengi waliokuwa wanahojiwa wamekubali kwamba wanawake wengi wana hasira au wana vitu wameficha ndani ya roho zao vinavyoleta anger attack unnecessarily. Hiyo imepewa jina la Angry Black Woman Syndrome (ABWS). Ningependa kila mtu ajiangalie je:
    Kama wewe ni mwanamke;
    ni mwanamke mwenye hasira,
    je marafiki zako wa kike ni wanawake wenye hasira
    nini kinachofanyaga mahusiano yako kuharibika?
    Ukisema au kujiona strong woman, huwa unamaanisha nini?

    Kama wewe ni mwanaume;
    Ulishawahi kuwa na mahusiano na mwanamke mwenye hasira?
    na kama jibu ni ndiyo, hali hiyo ikufanya ujisikieje?
    Je hali hiyo ilikufanya uchoke?
    Na kwa wote
    Mnasolve vipi matatizo ya kimahusiano yanapotokea?

    Mwisho atakaeyeweza kuipata hii movie aiangalie, inasaidia kukufanyia self- analysis na kujua uliposimama. (najua kuna watu wameshaiona hii mpvie/documentary). Ingine yenye theme inayokaribiana na hii ni "NOt easily broken", the same issues za marriage zinavyokuwa affected na kazi zetu hizi, wazazi etc.
     
  2. PakaJimmy

    PakaJimmy JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 8, 2010
    Joined: Apr 29, 2009
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    Sounds so gud to watch it!...(unazo hz dvd nini carmel tukuungishe.:D:D)!!

    Watu wanaingia kwenye ndoa wakiwa skeptical, hata ukiangalia happa JF, posts nyingi za wanaotaka kuingia kwenye relations hizi zinakuwa na hali ya machale sana juu ya uamuzi wao.

    Kwa wenye dini, dawa yake ni rahisi, kuomba mke toka kwa Mungu, ili akupe mtu mtakayefanana, na hivyo kuachana na haofu zote na hasira zisizokuwa na sababu.

    Maisha ya kukaa na hasira kifuani ni hatari mno kwa ndoa, maana hakuna ajuaye zitalipuka saa ngapi, na adha yake itakuwa nini.

    We should not step into marriage in a trial manner, this is 'once and for all'-thing!

    Nitatafuta hii movie..interested!
     
  3. carmel

    carmel JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 8, 2010
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    PJ hizi movie ni nzuri sana zinaelezea reality kabisa za maisha and not dreams za holywood. Kwa mfano mashost zetu huwa tunaongea nao nini kuhusu waume zetu, na ushauri tunaopewa mara nyingi ni wa aina gani? unaweza kuta mwanamke aliyeolewa anaenda salon anaanza kuelezea mume wangu hafanyi hivi, no irresponsible sana ni hivi na vile. wakati wote unaowaelezea hawana hata ndoa , so they dont understand your language, they will just tell you mistreat him, na mtu na akili zake anachukua ushauri na kuufanyia kazi, anakuwa kiburi na kuharibu ndoa yake.
     
  4. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Yeah nimewahi kuwa na uhusiano na mtu mwenye hasira kali.
    Huyu alikuwa anapenda niwe naenda kulala kwake nikienda kumega na kurudi siku hiyo sipati kitu mpaka nilale mpaka asubuhi ndo ananipa vitu vinginevyo naishia kula kwa macho tu na mtoto alikuwa kaumbika balaa black beauty namba 8.
    hasira zake mm nilikuwa nasolve kwa kuondoka kimya kimyaa kesho yake yeye anaanza kunitafuta yeye.
     
  5. C

    Consultant JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 8, 2010
    Joined: Jun 15, 2008
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    Mkuu Invisible,

    Saidia watu hapa with these two movies:

    1. The diary of a tired black Man

    2. Not easily broken

    Probably na hizi:

    WHY did I get married?

    I think I love my Wife
     
  6. Sajenti

    Sajenti JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Mh! Mazee, siku hizi si msichana wala mvulana wote dugu moja! ujuaji mwingi, kutaka kuwa juu ya mwingine. Hakuna mjadala endapo kutatokea tatizo. Yaani suala la mahusiano siku hizi ni kama mtu ameomba lift kwenye gari ya mtu yuko tayari kuteremka kituo chochote ili mradi ni muelekeo wa huko aendako....Sasa sidhani hata kama wataangalia hizo movie kutakuwa na changes. Ni ka-fashion fulani kameingia so wat haoni tabu kujaribu...
     
  7. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Hii movie nilishaiona, na kwa kuangalia from a wider perspective ninaweza kusummarise kuwa watu wengi tunaaffectiwa na our past experiences and environment. Tunaingia kwenye relationships tukiwa na mawazo (assumptions) tulizoziona kwa wazazi wetu, marafiki, majirani au hata ndugu zetu wengine has watu wale waliokuwa karibu yetu wakati wa kukua kwetu!
    Sasa, shida inakuja pale unapomuassume rafiki yako badala ya kuchukua muda kumfahamu; nguvu na unyonge wake!
    Pia marafiki tulio nao; hawa ni watu wanaoweza kutuharibu ama kutujenga! But we really have to be mature enough to discern this.
    Cha maana ni kuchukua muda kumfahamu mpenzi wakoSahau yote uliyofahamu kuhusu wanaume/wanawake, uliyoona ama uliyoambiwa!
    Nadhani hii itasaidia sana...
    Nawasilisha!
     
  8. carmel

    carmel JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Thanks Sinyolita, na kweli Invicible atusaidie hizi movie. Ingine nayoitafuta sana ni hiyo why did i get married? maana watu hapa washai-recommend sana, na hiyo ingine pia.
     
  9. Twande

    Twande JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 8, 2010
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    @Carmel,..why did i get married ni nzuri pia, mi nimeiona kuna mafunzo to both mwanamke na mwanaume, iyo uisemayo kuna mtu jana alisema iko hewan but sikuwa home but allisifia sana nayeye, illikuwa zone reality? Nitatatafuta au nicheck kama watarudia.
     
  10. Jeni

    Jeni Senior Member

    #10
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Why did I get married (80/20) itafute kwa kweli ni nzuri sana
     
  11. carmel

    carmel JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 8, 2010
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    nimeitafuta na bado naendelea kuitafuta. iw ont rest till i watch it.
     
  12. Pearl

    Pearl JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 8, 2010
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    what ur saying is real true pal,pia jaribu kucheki the white maasai,yani cc mostly African nadhani hatueleweki,unapokasirika mwenzio anafurahi,unapopenda mwenzio hapendi n viseverse,but ni kwamba we dnt share our relationships at all,wat I mean is yani mko in a relationship but kila mtu anafanya kivyake tu.
     
  13. babukijana

    babukijana JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 8, 2010
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    carmel ifuate hapa mamii,im always there for you


    <a href="http://www.watch-movies-online.tv/movies/why_did_i_get_married/" style="color:#1A7ED9"><b>Watch &quot;Why Did I Get Married?&quot; Movie</b></a>
     
  14. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 8, 2010
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    ziko nyingi, daangu. kama obsessed, deliver us from Eva, exhale, disappearing act, etc. kama mtu anazihitaji aende tu pale ubungo na kutafuta American movies. zina simulizi nzuri na za kufundisha ajabu. just go there
     
  15. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Feb 8, 2010
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    anger kwa mwanamke inasababishwa na vitu vingi kama ulotaja, au kuwa akili yake inafikiria mambo mengi...................labda inabidi aangalie wazee wake, wadogo apeleke shule, kazi nayofanya hela haimtoshi nk.

    mbaya zaidi unakuta anakuwa na mwanamme asiyekuwa responsible enough kumpokea matatizo yake (ama in reality au kwa dhana yake mwenyewe.)

    wanawke wengi tumejenga dhana kuwa ukiwa na mwnamme usimhadithie matatizo yako kwa sababu ataona unamuomba hela yake wakati ki kweli u just need someone to go into that emotional ride with u.

    wanaume inabidi mnapokuwa na wanawake muwe committed emotionally ili wanawake wapunguze hasira
     
  16. Kidege

    Kidege Member

    #16
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Kwa wasio na dini dawa yake nn PJ?
     
  17. Kidege

    Kidege Member

    #17
    Feb 8, 2010
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    yap! the 80/20 or 20/80 rules
     
  18. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Nimepitia hizo mbili; nadahani ni nzuri sana na mausia yake kwa wanandoa ni vitu vya kujifunza; namna tunavojitoa na thamani ambayo tumekuwa tukizipa ndoa zetu!
     
  19. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #19
    Feb 8, 2010
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    hayo mambo ya kusimuliana habari za nyumbani kwako salon kwa kweli huwa yananiudhi sana. utakuta mtu hata hakufahamu anaanza kukuhadithia mambo ya nyumbani kwake; my husband this, my husband that... ukweli inaudhi sana.
    itabidi sasa tuwe tunaenda salon kwa appointments, haya mambo ya kulundikana salon msululu mzima mnasubiri kuhudumiwa kunafanya watu waongee yasiyofaa kwa watu wasiofaa
     
  20. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 8, 2010
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    Wadada hapo kwenye red hapo ningefurahi sana kupata 'HONEST ANSWERS! Zitasaidia sana kwa kwa wadada kujielewa, maana kuna baadhi ya wanawake wana confuse hicho kitu!!!
     
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