A couple months ago, I got a new phone. Of all the good things I love about my new possession, is the fact that I get to chat anytime on WhatsApp. I must say the phone got me pretty excited and even more enthralled when I got a text from an old friend Hi its Jack, remember me? My heart almost stood still. Jack and I had a thing a while ago. The last I heard of him, he had settled in Uganda. We chatted late into the night till he sent the most shocking message. He was in Dar for a business trip and wanted us to meet up. Excited and curious all at a go, I said why not. I am the kind of woman who loves to leave the past as it is but Jack and I never called it quits; we just grew apart. I was quite hopeful to meet him. To cut the long story short, I met up with the guy and It was always great to see him and phew! The connection was still there. We hung out each day till he left and we kept on chatting hoping to rekindle the old flame. It takes two to tango When I told my friend about it, she wasnt impressed. In fact, she scolded me like crazy. How could you, dont you know that Jack is married? she asked. My heart sank and frustrations kicked in, I could not understand why he was coming onto me like that, when he knew he was a married man. When I confronted him, he denied it at first but finally agreed that he was in the marriage for the sake of a child. And that it was a big mistake to have married that woman. Ill be honest; a while back, I would have considered Jack, but the wisdom Ive gathered over the years has taught me that it takes a cheater to cheat. Sorry Jack, you are not my kind of man anymore! Some women do not mind dating taken men; I have quite a number of friends who are pretty comfortable in the wings of married men. They like the illicit overtones and the fact that the guy dotes on them with no expectations. The guy is ever excited to see her because she is like a breath of fresh air in his stale life. Worse than a leech You would think that a man is risking so much being with the other woman. No one has respect for a woman who knowingly dates a married man. In fact, such sisters either have low self-esteem or fear intimacy. They seek the sort of partnerships where sex remains the integral element, and emotional commitment takes a distance second place. Most men who are in committed relationships are looking for a no-strings-attached kind of relationship. So when a woman finds out that she has been betrayed and her supposed prince charming is married with children, she has a choice either to leave or stay. It is the backward thinking of an insecure lady that convinces her to hang onto false hopes. It could be the wifes fault that the man is unhappy or whatever reasons the man presents. Bottom-line is that you have no business dating a man with a wedding band on his finger. A revolution of sorts Life is all about choices and one has to take responsibility for the ones they make. Sure, Im single and we have a connection, but Im not desperate. Nobody wants to be cheated on, but its no different if you are part of the conspiracy. I think we can all take responsibility to curb cheating in relationships by avoiding married men like plague. We could start off finding out the marital status of the new hot guy. If that fails, women can do a background check, or watch out signs that he is taken. It is rather obvious that a man who insulates you from his life, friends or family is hiding something. He is either a thief, or a married man. He prefers restaurants or activities farther away from familiar grounds. His kind of outings is a weekend-getaway to a place where he is unknown. Ask him about his past relationships or if hes been married before. If his body language shows that hes holding back some information, run for your life.