Studies further show that couples who delay sex until their wedding night have more stable and happier marriages than couples who have pre-marital sex. According to Asiphe Ndlela, a psychologist based in Illovo, hopping into the sack will not bring you closer to that man or seal the deal on a relationship. She says most women sell themselves short by using sex as a way to lure and catch a guy. She says this is an old-fashion trick. She says because of things like HIV and Aids men love women who love themselves. A delay or abstinence from sexual intimacy during the early part of the relationships can allow communication and other social processes to become the foundation of the attraction to each other. Early sex could essentially be detrimental to a relationship, skewing it away from communication, commitment and the ability to handle adversity, Ndlela says. Ndlela says the biggest mistake many women make is to equate sex with a relationship. This is painful but true. Just because a man has sex with a woman doesnt mean he has even spent a second thinking about whether or not he wants to be with her or have a relationship in the future. Jumping into bed with man is not only damaging to your self-esteem, it even puts your health in danger and there is no sensible reason why you should do it. Women can feel really bad about themselves and feel as if they made a mistake if they dont get a second date or phone call after they refrained from having sex. She says waiting to have sex has more benefits from a personal and relationship perspective and allows you to enjoy real courtship. The romance is usually filled with excitement. Holding of hands and glancing at each other is potentially filled with passion and more. By slowing things down, two people can really get to know each other and explore whether or not they are a great fit. Ultimately, the relationship gets to be built on this bedrock of trust and support. What do you think?