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Hawa jamaa ni nouma

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Clarity, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. Clarity

    Clarity JF-Expert Member

    Oct 13, 2011
    Joined: Jul 6, 2010
    Messages: 580
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    Trophy Points: 45
    It worth reading the story; Swali moja majibu kibao.
    Doctor :What happened to your arm?
    Rweumbiza: I broke it.
    Doctor: Where and How did that happen?
    Rweumbiza :Okey. It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I was on the second
    floor balcony of that my house in Oysterbay, not the one in Msasani
    Doctor :Is that where you broke your arm,the balcony?
    Rweumbiza :No no ... I was sipping that my scotch whisky slowly... you
    know my son recently came from the UK and he brought me some blue label.
    Anyway. ..as I continued sipping, I realised that the sun's rays were not
    getting directly to me, as the satellite dishwas blocking them. Before I
    could instruct the domestic engineer to automatically turn away the dish,
    my butler James came up the balcony and informed me that there was this
    call on my social cellular phone, my blackberry . I reminded him to always
    bring the cellular up instead of calling me. As I hurried down the marble
    escalator ...
    Doctor :I guess that is when you...
    Rweumbiza :No, as I was going down I noticed the garage door was open and
    a car alarm was on. I stopped to check and I noticed the new model Prado
    was missing. I knew Mama Koku my beautiful second wife had taken it. Koku
    is our second daughter, now in Boston USA and is named after my late
    grandmother, who passed away in 1972 after a sort illness.
    I have always warned Mama Koku never to use the 4 by 4 on weekends,
    because of the recent spate of car-jackings. I always advise her to either
    use the Mercedes 230E or the BMW 325I which are not very attractive for
    thughs. That reminds me, I will have to tell my secretary to call
    "car-track " first thing on Monday -Jowa! I need to update my mobility
    inventory with them. So as I was saying....
    Doctor :(With some laughter) Yes Mr Rweumbiza, car theft incidences are
    rising and it is becoming a dangerous place. But how did you break your
    Rweumbiza :Yes I was coming to that. On my way to pick the cell tel I
    heard a hissing sound. I stopped to check where it was coming from. Ahh,
    it was from the bathroom. Mama Koku, for some reason, had left the Jacuzzi
    on. Luckily the temp and speed were at the minimum. I usually recommend
    such speed and temp so that we do not overload the UPS support system ,
    especially when our son's home theatre system is on .
    Doctor :Mr Rweu...
    Rweumbiza : Just wait... So I when I picked up the phone, I said Hello,
    Hello. ..Hello, but nothing. I became upset because I think the caller
    from state house had disconnected, I cant understand why he didn't leave a
    message after the beep. All my un-answered calls including the car mobiles
    are automatically redirected to a CAMS system. Doc, a CAMS is a "Central
    Answering Machine System". Anyway, on my way back I did not notice the
    protruding wire from the satellite dish. I had on many occasions told
    Multi Choice to send in a qualified techni...
    Doctor : ...is that where you tripped?
    Rweumbiza: No, as I was avoiding the wire, I tripped on the Multichoice
    250 channel decoder and fell on the 200 year old classical family
    piano....... ...
    Doctor : Thank you. Such an expensive trip will cost you only 850.
    Rweumbiza: hands over the money excitedly... )
    Doctor: Not Tanzanian shillings, Dollars!
    Rweumbiza :Aii....maweeee. ....then I shall write you a cheque drawn from
    my overseas account with Fast Boston Bank Massachussets. ...you can not go
    wrong on that one
    Kumbe Rweumbiza is a "desk officer" at Temeke Municipal Council
    ............ ....!!!!
  2. R

    Rastad Member

    Oct 13, 2011
    Joined: Oct 3, 2011
    Messages: 13
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    Tehe! Tehe! Tehe.nilifikiri jamaa anajibu maswali ambayo hayausiani na swali ili ajioneshe kwamba ye ni tajiri,lakini kuna watu kama hao kama unaongea naye utakuta yeye anaongea vitu haviusiani na mada yenu ili mradi ujue kwamba ana kitu flani
  3. l

    lwampel JF-Expert Member

    Oct 14, 2011
    Joined: Feb 28, 2011
    Messages: 208
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    Hao ndio wabongo bwana
  4. Ntumami

    Ntumami Senior Member

    Oct 14, 2011
    Joined: Sep 3, 2010
    Messages: 128
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    dah umenikumbusha mbali sikia hii:

    kijana mmoja wa kihaya jijini Dar es salaam, alikuwa akiwa elezea wenzake stori ya panya a;llivyowasumbua nyumbani kwao!

    " dah siku hiyo ilikuwa noma! yaani baba alikuwa alienda kwenye kabati lake la nguo akakuta ile suti yake aliyotoka nayo ujerumani imeliwa na panya! akashangaa sana maana kwetu vitu hivo hakuna kabisa! mara akangalia vizuri kumbe na ile gauni ya mama aliyotoka nayo Italy pia imeliwa na huyo panya! ikabidi tuanze msako mara akatokea yule panya, alikuwa amejificha karibu na AC, acha ile ya sebuleni ila ile ya chumbani kwa baba. wakamfukuza akakatisha kwenye kapeti ile ya manyoya akapanda kwenye ile plasma tv kwa nyuma yake akakosea kidogo akaanguka kwenye decorder yetu ya dstv kisha akakimbia kuelekea parking kule nje akakatiza kwenye rav4 ya mama kisha kwenye prado ya baba! dah yaani ile electric fence ndio ilitusaidia maana ndipo aliponaswa! ila alitusumbua sana maana tuliporudi ndani tukakuta kumbe alijaribu kuhamisha pia cheni za gold za mama ila akashindwa kuzifikisha mbali, halafu alikuwa ameanza kula ile tube ya jiko letu la gesi! "....
  5. Bambanza jr.

    Bambanza jr. JF-Expert Member

    Oct 14, 2011
    Joined: Aug 6, 2011
    Messages: 356
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    tunaita pomposity!