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Have you ever thought like these guys?

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Lekanjobe Kubinika, Jul 21, 2010.

  1. Lekanjobe Kubinika

    Lekanjobe Kubinika JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 21, 2010
    Joined: Dec 6, 2006
    Messages: 3,067
    Likes Received: 14
    Trophy Points: 135
    HR = )

    After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning.
    After exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his problem. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;

    My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.

    The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.


    Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

    Man:- 365 days and some times 366


    Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

    Man:- 24 hours


    Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

    Man:-
    8 am to 4 pm i.e. 8 hours a day.

    Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours ?

    Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)


    Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

    Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 days)


    Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

    Man:- No sir


    Manager:- How many days are there in a year that
    are weekends?

    Man:- 52 Fridays and 52 Saturdays equals to 104 days


    Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?

    Man:- 18 days.


    Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

    Man:- 4 days


    Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

    Man:- No sir!


    Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?

    Man:- No sir!


    Manager:- So how many days are left?

    Man:- 2 days sir!


    Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?

    Man:- No sir!


    M anager:- So how many days are left?

    Man:- 1 day sir!


    Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?

    Man:- No sir!


    Manager:- So how many days are left?

    Man:- None sir!


    Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

    Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.



    Moral : NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!





    HR = HIGH RISK

    And in the employee's opinion.....


    H = HASBY ALLAH WA NE3MA EL WAKEEL

    R = RABENA YEGAZEEKOM



    Source not known - Yahoo forwarded messages​
     
  2. Njaa

    Njaa JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 21, 2010
    Joined: Dec 6, 2009
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    Lekanjobe!!! Umenichekesha sana leo, jamaa angeendelea angebakiwa na negative days, maana hapo ijumaa kuu, boxing day hazijawekwa! hahahhhahahah
     
  3. M

    Mukubwa Senior Member

    #3
    Jul 21, 2010
    Joined: Aug 20, 2007
    Messages: 119
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    Jamaa si angemwuliza mbona leo tuko ofisini hi siku imetoka wapi au inawekwa wapi kwenye hiyo hesabu?
     
  4. Katavi

    Katavi Platinum Member

    #4
    Jul 21, 2010
    Joined: Aug 31, 2009
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    ahahahaaaaaah du jamaa kawa mpole.
     
  5. L

    Lubaluka JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 22, 2010
    Joined: May 18, 2009
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    Nilivyo mbishi, sikubali kitu hapo !!!
     
  6. PJ

    PJ JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jul 22, 2010
    Joined: Oct 10, 2007
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    It seems that the guy is not an Engineer
     
  7. Da Womanizer

    Da Womanizer JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jul 22, 2010
    Joined: May 24, 2010
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    Hizo hesabu labda uwapigie watu wa politics ndo utawakamata, lakini wahandisi huwapati hapo.
     
  8. Kidege

    Kidege Member

    #8
    Jul 22, 2010
    Joined: Jul 18, 2009
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    Ni kweli Huyu hawezi kuwa Engineer Kabisa
     
  9. Lekanjobe Kubinika

    Lekanjobe Kubinika JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jul 23, 2010
    Joined: Dec 6, 2006
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    Si unajua tena HR wanavyokalia viti vya kuswing maofisini anapoongea nawe kwa uhakika huku akikukazia macho kwa ukali? Yawezekana ukawa umesahau hata madai yaliyokupeleka hapo, ukaanza kutengeneza mazingira ya kutofukuzwa kazi. Kuna watu wakikalia ofisi zao wanadhani hawataondoka humo milele, wala hawataki walioko chini yao wajue haki zao. Inapogundulika kwamba haki zimejulikana wanatafuta utata wa kutumia kuwadhibiti wasidaidai haki. Meneja mzuri ni yule anayetetea maslahi ya kampuni zaidi na wala sio kutetea maslahi ya wafanyakazi. Ndio asili ya kuzaliwa umoja wa wafanyakazi.
     
  10. Makanyaga

    Makanyaga JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jul 23, 2010
    Joined: Sep 28, 2007
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    Kwa nini siku 104 zitolewe kati ya 122 na si kati ya tofauti ya 366 na 122? Huyo alistahili kufukuzwa kazi kabisa ubongo wake ulishaoza!
     
  11. Lady N

    Lady N JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jul 23, 2010
    Joined: Nov 1, 2009
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    kazi kweli kweli!
     
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