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Harusi ina umuhimu ?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mwiba, Jul 21, 2009.

  1. Mwiba

    Mwiba JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 21, 2009
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    Wateja wa chumba hiki cha mahaba napenda kuwauliza ili kujua kama kuna umuhimu wowote ule wa kufanya sherehe za harusi ,au ni kuuoa na kuondoka bila ya sherehe zozote zile ? Na kuna siri yeyote ile ambayo inapelekea kufanywa sherehe za harusi ? Kuna seemu nimetaka kuoa ,mimi nimewambia sihitaji sherehe za aina yeyote ile .ila upande wa mtoto wa kike wao wameshikilia ni lazima ifanywe sherehe ,nimetishia kuachana nae ,ila narudi hapa kutafuta ushauri unajua JF ina wenyewe ,na bila ya shaka majadiliano ya hapa huwa mara zote yananinufaisha. Sasa nikubali kuffuata wanavyotaka wao au niwaachie mtoto wao ?
     
  2. B

    Babuyao JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 21, 2009
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    Japo ndoa ndiyo kitu cha maana sherehe pia ni ya muhimu ndugu. Cha maana muwe na kiasi katika matumizi ya sherehe ili mweze kubakiwa na kitu cha kuanzia maisha. Sherehe za harusi zinakoleza ndoa mpya kwani tukio hilo ni kubwa sana katika maisha ya mtu.
     
  3. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 21, 2009
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    Mwiba kwa nini hutaki sherehe ya harusi? Jibu la swali hili litatusaidia kukupa ushauri muafaka zaidi.

    Kwa maoni yangu sherehe inafanywa kwa sababu kadhaa. Kwanza ni kama alama ya kuonesha 'umuhimu' wa tukio lililotokea (iwe ni wanandoa,wazazi, ndugu am hata marafiki). Pili, ni kuonesha 'furaha' kwa tukio la kufunga ndoa.Tatu unaweza kusema ni kama 'ushuhuda' (kumbuka si watu wengi wanahudhuria ndoa kanisani,bomani nk) kwamba wawili hawa sasa ni mwili mmoja. Sababu nyingine ni wanandugu 'kukutana' na 'kufahamiana' (ingawa sio effective kihivyo!). Na mwisho sherehe inatoa nafasi kwa watu 'kuwapongeza maharusi pamoja na wazazi wao' (si rahisi watu wenu wa karibu kila mmoja kuja nyumbani kwenu kuwapongeza!).

    Mara chache sana kusikia mtu hataki sherehe isipokuwa kwa sababu maalumu sana (ukata, siku ya harusi imeingiliana na msiba wa ndugu wa karibu, wanandoa wamesha kaa kinyumba kwa muda mrefu nk).

    Nakutakia fungate njema.
     
  4. GM7

    GM7 JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 21, 2009
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    Halo hii mada imekuja mahali pake kabisaaaaa! Maana saa chache zilizopita tulikuwa na kikao cha harusi ya mdogo wangu inayotarajia kufanyika mwezi Novemba 2009.
    Kwa kweli naweza kuungana na mtoa mada kuhusu kuwepo au kutokuwepo kwa sherehe ya harusi. Kwangu binafsi naweza kusema sherehe isiwepo kutokana na mifano hai iliyonikuta hivi punde.
    Tumejitahidi kutoa mahari ambayo jumla yake imegharimu sh. 1,014,000 sasa imefikia wakati iundwe kamati ya sherehe hiyo wanasema inatakiwa niwe angalau sh. 600,000 na nyingine kuwalisha na kuwanywesha wanakamati hao kwa gharama nyingine tofauti na hiyo laki sita, kwa haraka haraka inatakiwa niandae jumla sh. 1,200,000.

    Je, kwa hali kama hii sherehe itafanyika? Maana uwezo wetu ni mdogo sana.
    Kwa mfano kipato changu ni sh. 120,000 kwa mwezi. Ndio maana mtoa mada akauliza hilo swali.

    Wengine waendelee kuchangia hoja.
     
  5. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Kama kweli unampenda nadhani itakubidi ufwate masharti uliyopewa hasa kama na yeye anasisitiza sherehe kufanyika.. Ila binafsi sionagi umuhimu wowote wa kufanya sherehe ya gharama kubwa ilhali baada ya hapo mnakuja kusota kutokana na kuingia gharama kubwa eti tu kuonesha watu kwamba na wewe ni mtu miongoni mwa watu..

    Ila Bana angalia mwenyewe unataka nini na ufanye uamuzi ambao hutakuja kuujutia.. Hope wakuu wenye uelewa zaidi wataongezea/watakosoa maoni yangu kwa manufaa yetu sote, manake na mimi nitakuja kulipitia hilo.
     
  6. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Mnapofunga ndoa kukiwa na sherehe nayo ina raha yake, mnaweka kumbu kumbu nzuri kwa watoto wetu mtakaokuja kupata baada ya hiyo ndoa yenu, Kama mfuko unakuruhusu fanya sherehe bana, hiyo ndio raha ya harusi.
    Kama kweli umempenda huyo msichana jitahidi tu ufanye sherehe. Sherehe isiwe sababu ya kumuacha binti wa watu.
     
  7. J

    Joyceline JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Swala la harusi liantegemea na mfuko wako, cha muhimu hapo ni ndoa kama uwezo mdogo fungeni tu ndoa yenu fanyeni tafrija fupi ya ndugu na marafiki wa kabiru basi siku yenu imeisha,
    na pia kama pesa ipo fanya sherehe upendavyo ndo siku yako hiyo, harusi yako ya mwisho utakuwa umelala kimya hutaweza kusherehekea.
     
  8. ocade

    ocade Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    naimani swala la harusi linategemea connection, marafiki na uhusiano wako na watu, na wala si mfuko wako...!

    sherehe ya harusi tunmafanya ili kuwafurahisha wapendwa zetu(wake watarajiwa) kwan kwao ni heshima sana kuolewa na kuwaonyesha watu kuwa nimeolewa na fulan,
    pia yapendeza sana kama utafanya sherehe ya harusi kwa kuwa mtakuwa mmejitambulisha mbele ya jamii kubwa, tabu ni kwamba sasa watu wanakufuru, wanachanga mamichango mikubwaaa, utakuta mtu anaweka kiwango cha 50,000/= kwa kila mtu, ukizingatia mtu unakuwa na harusi tatu mpaka tano kila mwezi(kwa sie vijana tulianza kazi-ndo wakati wetu sasa), so you need to spare abt 200,000/= almost kila mwezi sabb ya harusi tuu....
     
  9. GM7

    GM7 JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Nakubaliana na wewe kabisa. Kwa mfano hiyo sh. 1,200,000 eti niwe nayo ili kuandaa kamati ya sherehe nitaitoa wapi na wakati huo kipato changu ni sh. 120,000 tu kwa mwezi?
    Kwa hali hii ndio maana naona hakuna umuhimu. Halafu hiyo hiyo 1,200,000 si ndio ingekuwa ndio ya kuanzia maisha jamani?
     
  10. Akili Unazo!

    Akili Unazo! JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Bravo Brooooooooo
     
  11. afkombo

    afkombo Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Kuwaachia mtoto wao eti kisa wanakulazimisha sherehe sidhani kama ni hoja nzuri,labda kama una sababu nyingine!!Ukishamuoa anakuwa mke wako na wewe ndiye mwenye mamlaka naye kwa asilimia nyingi!!Kama hupendi sherehe(namaanisha km tatizo si pesa) Nakushauri uoe then unaweza ku-boycott sherehe coz siyo lazima,najua kuna watu wanasema na watakuona huna adabu lakini watasema yataisha!!Na km tatioz ni gharama basi unaweza kuwaachia gharama zote watoe wao kma wataweza then wewe ukahudhuria tu.
     
  12. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Mkuu Mwiba wacha wazee wale pilau bana, unataka kuwanyima la nini? we weka sherehe hapo watu tile tinywe!
     
  13. Mwiba

    Mwiba JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 22, 2009
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    Kweli ,ni furaha,ushuda,kumbukumbu na menginetele ,ila yote ni gharama ,siku hizi kwanza imekuwa kama mtaji ,mahari hayapungui chini ya milioni mbili ,sijui wanafikiria watu wote wanafanya kazi buzwagi ? Na halafu mbali ya yote ,nawatarajia watanichuna mimi tu,dalili nimeanza kuziona ,tatizo wakianza na madai na halafu huna kitu mfukoni watakuona bahili ,jambo ambalo nalichukia kuliko yote duniani ni kuonekana bahili ,na siku hizi walaji wamegundua haya mambo ya kuunda kamati ,yaani wameingiza mambo ya ulaji wakiserikali katika mambo ya harusi , wanazidi kutumaliza.
    Kutokana na ushauri wenu huo wa kutosana nitauangalia lakini naona chance ni ndogo sana kama 25% hivi. Au nitawambia chakula tutachemsha mihogo ka sufuria tatu na kauzu ,tunalinda utamaduni wa Mtanzania ,mambo ya kiarabu sijui pilau haluwa ,hamna pilau wala haluwa. Kwanza mambo ya kamati sikubaliani nayo ni wizi tu.

    Kamati kwenye harusi imehusu nini ,kama sikuchomoana ?
     
  14. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 23, 2009
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    hahaha mkuu Mwiba, naweza kukuelewa kwa mtu ambaye hajakaa kwenye utamaduni wa hizi kamati

    niseme kwa upande wa harusi za kikristo kwa mfano, kamati ni kitu cha kawaida tu na hata harusi nyinginezo, sio lazima uwe ufisadi.....kamati iwepo sasa we toa mchango wako nyingine watatoa wengine,, umenifahamu hapo? usigharamie kila kitu, waambi kama wanataka kamati basi,, we utatoa mchango wako kisha wakusanye mingine,, na kamati zinakuwa na mahesabu so sio lazima kuwe na wizi mkuu

    jingine, hilo la mihogo,, ni sawa tu lakini itakuwa bado sherehe,, hata kama ni ya mihogo utahitaji watu wa kuiandaa na hao kauzu:D so kamati iko pale pale

    Suala sio ubahili, ni kuwaeleza ukweli kwa utaratibu ili ifanyike sherehe inayolingana na kipato chako au uwezo wako..usitoe hela zako mfukoni kugharamia sherehe nzima mkuu!

    Hapo kwenye mahari, nasikia kwa wenzetu waislamu binti ndo anatamka mahari, mwambia hali ngumu aseme elfu ishirini, habari imekwisha kwani watamkataza??

    Mkuu Mwiba nipe tu kadi hata kwa PM, hata kama ni mihogo haijalishi si tutakuja kusherekea!
     
  15. GP

    GP JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 23, 2009
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    mkuu kamati muhimu sana, coz kamati ndio inafanya maandalizi yote ya shughuli, ingawa kweli wajanja pia wanakuwamo kwenye kamati hasa pale mnapopiga mahesabu ya juu halafu mwanakamati anafanya usanii, mfano mnapiga mahesabu kadi moja sh. 1000, kwa kadi 200 itakua 200000, sasa atatokea mwanakamati msanii atasema mumpe kazi hiyo, ataenda kutengeneza kwa 700, hapo atachukua cha juu sh. 60000! kiulainiii.
    ukija kwenye faida za kamati, utakuta kwamba huwezi kufanya kila kitu mwenyewe kwa ajili ya shughuli ya harusi au whatever, hivyo unahitaji watu wakusaidie, watu wenye ujuzi na uzoefu, unaweza usifahamu kitu gani kinapatikana wapi na kwa gharama nafuu, then kwenye kamati lazima kutakua na mmoja anafahamu, mwisho wa siku shughuli itakwenda sawa.
    chukulia mfano hauna kamati, mkajigawa tu dada, kaka, wajomba, shangazi unadhani hapo shughuli itakwenda?, maana wengine tutatoa laki 2 zetu za mchango tutaambulia bia moja au tusilambe kitu!, eeeh si mtakua mnagawana kindugu!.
     
  16. W

    WONDERWOMAN Member

    #16
    Jul 23, 2009
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    harusi haina maana iwe ni sherehe kubwa za kifahari zisizo za lazima angalieni kipato chenu ,sherehe kiasi inatosha lakini kimya kimya babu Akaaa,mie siungi mkono hilo,kwani unaiba,tutangazie tujue kwamba sasa umejiandikisha rasmi katika majamboz au vipi!
     
  17. GM7

    GM7 JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 23, 2009
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    Jamani sijui nianze kwanza kulia halafu nichangie hoja hii.
    Yaani juzi juzi nimeitisha wanandugu na baadhi ya watu ili tuunde kamati ya harusi
    Nimewaambia nina shilingi 300,000 tuuuu mnisaidie ili tufanikishe harusi hii. Sasa badala yake wananiambia haitoshi kabisa kuitisha kamati. Halafu wakati huo huo wanasema inatakiwa niilishe kamati na kuinnyesha mpaka walewe na gharama ya kulisha watu zaidi ya 50 na kuwalewesha bia si mchezo.
    Ndio maana nasema hakuna umuhimu wa sherehe. Labda tuandae sherehe ya kunywa chai na maandazi.
     
  18. GP

    GP JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 23, 2009
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    aisee, pole sana!
    kwanza kama unaishi dar mkuu kilo 3 haitoshi kwakweli, hata ukumbi hupati kwa kilo 3 ndani ya dar, atleast ungekua na kilo 5.
    pili wanandugu usiwajaze, wengi miyeyusho tu, hawako serious hata kidogo na watakulostisha, tafuta marafiki zako wale wa karibu na ndugu wachache wenye akili, isitoshe kwenye kamati inatakiwa mwanakamati atoe hela ya uchakavu, sasa hapo kwenye uchakavu kuna wengine wanakunywa bia 5 halafu wanatoa 2000 upumbafu mtupu [​IMG]!, kunywa kadri ya pesa yoko bana.
     
  19. GM7

    GM7 JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 23, 2009
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    Kwa mujibu wa wachangiaji waliopita mhusika anakuwa na hela kiasi ndipo wanakamati wanichangie. Sasa mimi nina kilo 3 ina maana hawa wengine hawawezi kuniongezea ili kufanikisha ishu hii?
    Ina maana nagharamia peke yangu? Si hao wengine wanichangie ili zitimie kukodi ukumbi na mambo mengineyo? Karibuni Mbeya jamani.
     
  20. Mwiba

    Mwiba JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 23, 2009
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    KAIZER ,mahari elfu 20 ?! ,Wapi huko wanapatikana kwa 20.000 ,yaani mahari niliyodaiwa ya milioni mbili napata wake 100 ,aloo hebu nitumie walipo kwenye pm ,salaaleh ,yaani kama bahati naona inaelekea kuniangukia ,ila huku nikiwambia mahari hayo ya 20,000/- watanifukuza tu hawana chaguo jingine ,yaani ni kadi nne za mtandao wa simu za elfu tano tano . Pengine hao wana ugonjwa flani ,haiwezekani kabisa udaiwe fedha hiyo .yaani hapo hata sherehe nzima nitaihudumikia ,sihitaji ushirika wowote ule.

    Kaizer inawezekana haujafika hapa Tz mida mwingi ,inaonyesha uliondoka wakati wa kipindi cha watu kutelekezwa geza ulole,siku hizi kama huna juu ya milioni na nusu basi inakuwa mbinde ,maana utaanziwa ,unajua hata fanicha siku hizi zimepanda ,vyombo ndio usiseme hizo milioni umetoa itabidi na sie wazazi tumuongezee mwenetu apate mambo ya nyumbani na atengeze nyumba yake ,unaletewa stori ndeeefu ,ukizubaa tu umeumia ,hizo feza huyo mtoto wala haioni ,yaani angalau unaweza kupanga na huyo mke kuwa baada ya harusi akurudishie japo nusu ya mahari.
     
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