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Handling finances in marriage.... advice

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Shishi, Jul 27, 2009.

  1. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

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    Please naomba ushauri haswa kutoka kwa wale walio kwenye ndoa. How do u deal with finances kama nyote mna mapato...inakuwaje ndio musiingize migogoro coz of money issues??? u know wansema money is the root of all evil sijui kama kweli au la! I will appreciate alot!!!
     
  2. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    Shishi, thats very simple. Trasparency and honesty...mimi anaijua salary slip yangu na mimi naijua ya kwake

    Mwisho wa mwezi tunapanga kuwa tufanye hiki na hiki, hiki tuache, hapa twende, hapa tusiende, nk.

    hakuna kufichana kitu, kwa ufupi.
     
  3. Mtabiri

    Mtabiri Senior Member

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    Mnakua wa kweli ktk vyanzo vyenu vya mapato. Kila mtu anajua mshahara wa mwenzie,hata ukienda workshop unamwambia leo tulikua na workshop nimerudi na kiasi hiki. Matumizi mnakubaliana na miradi ya maendeleo au saving mnapanga pamoja na kuexecute kwa ushirikiano. Mmoja akijitia ana usiri tu mtasambaratika na ndoa itapoteza ladha. Kwa vile ni mwlili mmoja hakuna haja ya kufichana hata password za ATM. That is my take!
     
  4. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Inategemea mapato yenu.Mara nyingi mkiwa na kipato kidogo sana inakuwa kazi kweli kwa maana kila mmoja anakuwa anatamani matakwa yake yawe ndiyo kipaumbele.Mfano mwanamke anaweza kutaka kurekebisha makazi yao ilhali mwanaume anaweza kutaka kwanza kusomesha ndugu zake.Hapo inakuwa kazi kubwa kukubaliana.Inapokuwa mna mapato ya kuridhisha na hamna shida ndogondogo, basi inakuwa rahisi kila mmoja ku negotiate nini kifanyike katika familia na hata wakati mwingine mwanandoa mmoja anaweza akafanya makubwa kwa niaba ya mwenzake.

    Cha msingi lazima kuwe na moyo wa kujitoa na kuwa mwepesi kutumia kipato kwa faida ya familia.Kuna wanaume hawapendi kabisa mipango ya maendelea ya muda mrefu kama kujenga, miradi ya kiuchumi, kusomesha watoto shule nzuri na kadhalika.WATU KAMA HAWA KUPELEKEA KUWEPO NA VITA BARIDI kutoka kwa wake zao na hata imewahi kutokea wanawake wakaanzisha miradi yao ya siri bila mume kujua japo ni kitu kibaya.

    Wapo pia wanawake ambao hawana mwelekeo mzuri kwenye matumizi ya rasilimali za familia.Hufuja au hata kudai watumie kwa vitu ambavyo pengine kwa wakati huo siyo muhimu sana.Wanawake wa namna hii huwa ni vikwazo kwa waume zao.

    Unachotakiwa ndugu yangu ni kujipima mna uwezo gani, mwenzio ni mtu wa namna gani linapokuja swala la matumizi na uwazi, hii itakufanya kuamua uwe muwazi kuhusu mapato yako.

    Uwazi nao wakati mwingine umewafikisha watu pabaya hasa wanawake- wengi wamejikuta wanaachiwa mzigo mzima wa kuitegemeza familia.

    In short, its a balancing act ndugu yangu.
     
  5. a

    agika JF-Expert Member

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    well mummy WoS amesema mengi ambayo ndio msingi kwenye ndoa nyingi ,ningependa kukuongezea tu kwamba hata kama kipato ni kidogo ,management inatakiwa iwepo .mnatakiwa muwe wazi wote wawili na vipato vyenu ,ukitaka kujua kiasi gani mnapata ,kiasi gani mnatumia na kiasi gani kinabakia.INSHORT MNATAKIWA MJUE HELA INAPOTOKA NA INAPOKWENDA. mkijua hivyo inakuwa rahisi hata kupanga mambo ya baadae hata kwa hicho kidogo mlichonacho,mtajua wapi mnaspend sana na jinsi gani ya kupunguza au kuitafutia njia mmbadala. ungekuwa comfortable na simple accounting ningekutumia hata template ambayo mie huwa natumia kila mwezi kujua tumepata kiasi gani na tumetumia kiasi gani na kilichobakia, ina allocate mpaka entertainment allowance, hospital allowance ,contingency etc. its a model ina self calculations na wala haihitaji usomee accounting ndo uielewe na ipo special home budgeting
     
  6. KIFARU

    KIFARU Senior Member

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    duuuhh,hiy0 kitu ugmvi muhimu,pesa
     
  7. S

    Shingo Senior Member

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    Honesty katika pesa huwa ni ngumu sana. Ikiwa watu mko open to each other, ni rahisi kuwa open hata kwenye pesa. Lakini mkiwa hamko honest to each other pesa is the last thing kuingia kwenye open.

    What works today may not work tommorow. Openness kwangu ilifanya kazi kwa miaka kama mitano ya ndoa. Baadaye longo longo zikaanza. I'm more confortable today, kila mtu anaendesha mfuko wake anavyotaka. Hamna kusukumana. Kama unataka TV ya plasma nunua, weka na mwingine ataangalia. Kama unataka nyumba jenga, provided mwingine ataambiwa kama unajenga. Hii tunayoishi alijenga mme kabla ya ndoa hivyo tumepanga na mme analipia kodi.

    Everybody is confortable that way! hakuna universal solution. Ni suala la watu wawili kukaa na kuona kuwa hapa tuko comfortable. Mnaendelea!!
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ....mmnh, huyo mume atayekuoa hana la kukudanganya, ushajifunza yote hapa!
     
  9. Eqlypz

    Eqlypz JF-Expert Member

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    Sasa ilo la kusomesha ndugu ndio litakaloleta mgogoro kwenye finances. Vile vile inabidi uwe na secret account for the rainy days.

    **Sijaoa.
     
  10. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Ahsante shishi kwa hii thread, maana tunaweza kujifunza vizuri mambo ya financial, haswa jinsi ya kushare mnapokuwa kwenye ndoa.
    Mie niko mbioni kuja huko ndoani, ila huyu mwenzangu hataki nichangie kitu chochote, ananiambia yeye atabeba majukumu yote kama mwanaume. Mie hadi woga unanishika, maana kama kipato cha kuchangia ninacho, ila yeye anataka kufanya kila kitu. Je yupo sawa hivi kweli? Maana baadhi ya rafiki zangu wanasema eti ndio mwanaume mzuri, maana nitakuwa huru na pesa zangu. Lakini mimi najiona kama vile kuna walakini.
     
  11. Shishi

    Shishi JF-Expert Member

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    Samahani leo natoka kidogo but will be back kesho kuendeleza hii mada.... thanks all for the advice!!
     
  12. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Jul 28, 2009
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    Umesema vizuri sana dada ni kweli kabisa hii huwa ni pasua kichwa katika familia nyingi. Hasa mkiwa na kipato kidogo. Ila mkiwa na mawasiliano mazuri basi ni kiasi cha kukubaliana tu what should be your priorities......and stick to them.

    Hapo kwenye red umenifurahisha ila tu nakukumbusha kuna wanaume wa hivyo pia, yaani yeye ukipata pesa usimpe akushikie au umpe aende akanunue mifuko ya cement au akachonge milango utaumia maana yeye ataanza kutafuta rafiki zake aende kujenga heshima bar!!
     
  13. a

    agika JF-Expert Member

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    ndio maana u thank God for being a female mummy? hahhaha
    well ur situation ni normal kwa baadhi ya wanawake.mine also.kuna baadhi ya wanaum e wanakuwa proud kuwahudumia wake zao 100% na wanafanya kutoka mioyoni kwao kwahiyo na wewe mpe chance ajiridhishe moyo wake ila pia tumia oppoturnity hiyo mummy kuweka mambo yako sawa kwasababu one thing i know abt men wakikuchukua jumlajumla most of them wanachange. sasa wewe weka mambo sawa sasa hivi hata akija kuchange baadae yako yashakuendea.
    second scenario ni kwamba kuna wanaume wengine wanakwambia hivyo kwamba anataka ahudumie kila kitu but at the same time anakuangalia what do u do with your money? je zinaishia mariedo na shear illusion? au unafanya investiment za maana, tena kama huyo ambaye hajakuoa ndo kabsa anataka ajue anachukua mwanamke wa aina gani? wa kwenda salon ku-retouch 70,000 kama alivyosema fide or a woman with a plan in life?
    mie wangu mpaka leo anaweka mezani every cent anayopata na haulizi yangu iko wapi.ni aibu zangu tu ndo na mimi naweka kipato changu kwenye budget but still ataniambia yangu nimwekeee mtoto kwenye account yake kwa kiasi tulichokubaliana kumwekea kila mwezi, nyingine nifanyie mambo yangu. lakini na mie nahakikisha nafanya hayo mambo yangu kwa faida yetu sote (waweza kununua kiwanja kwa jina lako kisha mnakiita chenu si imo pia au?)
     
  14. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Agika mpenzi you are very lucky

    Shishi what I can tell you ni kuwa kila upatacho ni vizuri hata kama mume hakuulizi kifanye kwa ajili ya familia yako. Ila akili kichwani mwako take precaution pia maana hawa wenzetu ......... ikiwezekana investments zote andika majina yenu wote au la basi mtoto/watoto.
     
  15. Akili Unazo!

    Akili Unazo! JF-Expert Member

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    Ndugu yangu hao marafiki zako baadae watakuwa mashahidi wa kukucheka!!huyo kaka anakutegega ili aangali uelewa wako katika kufanya vitu vya maendeleo yenu kwa pamoja.

    naposema kuwa yeye yupo ok na anawajibu wakushughulikia kila kitu bila hata kuhitaji mchango wako are u sure kama yu mkweli au angangalia utakapo peleka hiyo saving yako.
    Hivyo be clever kumsoma mwenzi wako si kwa macho tu bali kwa undani baadae yanaweza kukuta kama yaliyomkuta mj1
     
  16. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Lakini kwa wale wenye wivu kama akina MJ1 utaona anadai yeye mshahara wake hauguswi kila kitu mzee anamaliza hata za vocha ni mzee anamaliza hata za saloon ni mzee anamaliza.
     
  17. Akili Unazo!

    Akili Unazo! JF-Expert Member

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    Kweli hapa sisemi kitu namwachia shosty wangu mwanajamii one ajibu
     
  18. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

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    Hehehe wengi wenu ndivyo mnavyo fanya na baba anabakia kuwa kichwa cha familia.....
     
  19. K

    Kilamia Member

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    Suala la finances kwenye ndoa ni very sensitive lakini nafarijika nimesoma michango ya wanajamii na kufaidika sana. Naomba nami nikazie kwenye honesty na transparency ingawa haya si mambo rahisi kuyayanya kwa ukamilifu wake. Kuna mwenzangu mmoja alinitahadharisha kuwa kamwe msiweke akaunti ya pamoja. Hili limekaaje? Mimi naona kama ni ushauri mzuri.
     
  20. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    .............. Unalo unalonitaka Fidel. Laiti ningekuwa na bahati hiyo.
     
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