Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Hakuna ubaya ukijiuliza hili kuhusu ndoa...!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Eiyer, Jun 17, 2012.

  1. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Apr 17, 2011
    Messages: 27,212
    Likes Received: 709
    Trophy Points: 280
    Jamii nzingi za Kiafrika zimekua na kawaida ya kumpa heshima ya peke mwanamke au mwanaume alieoa au kuolewa,imefikia hata baadhi ya vyeo serikalini mtu anapewa kama ameoa/olewa na wengine kuambiwa kama hujaoa/olewa,fanya hivyo kwanza,kwanini?Hivi mtu anapooa au kuolewa anakuaje?Sehemu nyingine huwezi kutoa maoni kama uko single,why?Sijajua point ya jamii kwa watu hawa,kama kuna anaejua ndoa inamfanyaje mtu awe na akili au uwezo mkubwa wa kufikiri anijulishe!
     
  2. mnyongeni

    mnyongeni Senior Member

    #2
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Dec 6, 2011
    Messages: 137
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    ni mtizamo tu wa jamii, japo wengi hutafsiri ndoa kama kuashiria, ukomavu, kuhimili mikiki mikiki, busara, kujiheshimu, utulivu, mtu kujitambua na kuwa tayari kubeba majukumu.
     
  3. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Apr 17, 2011
    Messages: 27,212
    Likes Received: 709
    Trophy Points: 280
    Inasikitisha sana mitazamo kama hii imeshaleta hasara kwa kuzuia mawazo,viongozi ambao wangeleta faida kwenye jamii zetu!
     
  4. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
    Messages: 28,321
    Likes Received: 3,124
    Trophy Points: 280
    ulimbukeni tu wa jamii yetu, ilhali kinachompa heshima mtu ni tabia na mwenendo wake na si ndoa.....
     
  5. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Apr 17, 2011
    Messages: 27,212
    Likes Received: 709
    Trophy Points: 280
    Lakini mtazamo huu wa hovyo ulianzia wapi?
     
  6. Purple

    Purple JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Feb 9, 2012
    Messages: 2,026
    Likes Received: 192
    Trophy Points: 160
    Hata mi nashangaa! Na wakati ndoa zenyewe za siku hizi nyingi za kichina!
     
  7. Kaunga

    Kaunga JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Nov 28, 2010
    Messages: 12,582
    Likes Received: 709
    Trophy Points: 280
    Tena unakuta wenye ndoa wengine hovyo hadi wanatia kinyaa!

    Nafikiri ilianzia pale ambapo ndoa zilikuwa ndoa kweli, but now hakuna cha heshima wala wifi yake heshima.
     
  8. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
    Messages: 28,321
    Likes Received: 3,124
    Trophy Points: 280
    enzi na enzi,
    ni mapokeo hayo!
     
  9. H

    Hute JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 17, 2012
    Joined: Nov 25, 2010
    Messages: 3,499
    Likes Received: 383
    Trophy Points: 180
    wachangie wale walioko kwenye ndoa tu hapa, manake wengine ambao hamjaingia kwenye ndoa, bado hamjakomaaa, hamuijui mikiki mikiki ya kwenye ndoa ambayo mtu akihimili ataweza kuhimili na mambo mengine mengi....kama uko bado bachela, wala usiponde walioko kwenye ndo akabisa, kwasababu haujui kitu, labda kama uliolewa au kuoa ukaachika.....ukishaingia tu kwenye ndoa mtu mwenyewe kwanza unaanza kujihisi kuwa unalazimika kujiheshimu na kufanya mambo ya kiutu uzima, wkaajili yako, ya mke wako, watoto wako, wakwe etc, unahisi kuna wajibu mkubwa sana unakuzungua hivyo unatakiwa uwe makini katika kila jambo ndio maana unajikuta unalazimika kuwa na mambo ya busara na ukomavu wa kiutu uzima....mwanaume mwenye miaka 35 ambeya hajaoa hawezi kufanana kabisa kitabia, kimaisha etc na mwanaume mwenye 35 years ambaye ameoa..yule aliyeoa atakuwa na mambo ya kiutu uzima, busara na ukomavu wa akili kuliko yule ambaye hajaoa....hivyo hata nyie ambao mmechangia hapa wakati bado hamjaingia kwenye ndoa, akili zenu bado kabisa kukomaa na hapa hata hamjaelewa milichochangia....nawaombea kwa Mungu wale ambao wanatamani kuingia kwenye mtihani huu wa maisha lakini wanashindwa, wafanikiwe....
     
  10. L

    Lady G JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Dec 13, 2010
    Messages: 517
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    Umenena vyema lol
     
  11. Eiyer

    Eiyer JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Apr 17, 2011
    Messages: 27,212
    Likes Received: 709
    Trophy Points: 280
    Tena za hovyo zaidi ya kichina!
     
  12. j

    jayp1617 Member

    #12
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Jun 24, 2011
    Messages: 6
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 0
    Tena za hovyo zaidi ya kichina!

    me naona wala si za kichina ni za kibongo,wachina wana fake electronics na sio rship
     
  13. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #13
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,572
    Likes Received: 692
    Trophy Points: 280
    Jamii inadai kwamba mtu mwanaume na mtu mwanamke wakioana wanakuwa wanakamilishana, yaani kwa mfano wa Biblia ni kwmaba Adam alitolewa ubavu wake ndio akaumbwa Eva........ Sasa Adam hawezi kuwa kamili kama hajaungana na Eva, na ndio maana jamii inaamini katika ukamili wa Binadamu ni lazima awe ameoa.
    Kijamii kumpa mtu ambaye hajaoa cheo ni sawa na kumpa mtu ambaye hajakamilika madaraka, Je ataitumikaje jamii wakati hajakamilika(hajaungana na Eva)?

    Hiyo dhana mimi sikubaliana nayo kabisa, ni miongoni mwa nadharia za kijinga.........................
     
  14. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #14
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,572
    Likes Received: 692
    Trophy Points: 280
    Hute kumbe ndoa ni mikiki mikiki....................!
    Mwenzio mimi nina miaka kumi sasa sijaiona hiyo mikiki mikiki, hebu nimegee, ni mikiki mikiki gani mwenzangu ushapambana nayo na mimi nijiandae kukabiliana nayo!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  15. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Aug 22, 2008
    Messages: 3,617
    Likes Received: 28
    Trophy Points: 145

    Nakubaliana na wewe ya kuwa huu ndiyo mtazamo wa kijamii ulivyo ingawa ki ukweli hauna uhalisia na maisha ya sasa ya Mtanzania pengine kutokana na ndoa za sasa zilivyopoteza dira na kugeuzwa kama mchezo fulani wa maigizo!

    Ki uhalisia, utendaji wa kazi wa mtu hautegemei sana kama mtu huyo ni married au laaa. Utendaji na uwajibikaji ni hulka na mtazamo wa mtu. Ni moyo tu na nia njema ya mtu kijituma kwa ajilia ya maendeleo ya jamii yake ambao hauna uhusiano na ndoa. Chukulia mfano wa viongozi wengi tu wa sasa hata hawa siasi, hawa vijana tulionao wengi wao wako single lakini tumeyaona makali yao ktk kuishauri serikali na kufuatilia utekelezaji wa majukumu mbali mbali ya kiserikali kwa nguvu zaidi kuliko hata hao married. Ni dhana tu hiyo!
     
  16. lolyz

    lolyz JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Sep 9, 2011
    Messages: 325
    Likes Received: 10
    Trophy Points: 35
    Devil is always a liar...anataka kuhalalisha uvunjaji wa amri ya Mungu no 6 watu wazidi kukomaa tu kwenye uvunjaji huu yaani wahalalishe uzinifu ..mara kadhaa nimesikia mabint wakisema "ni bora nibakie huku nje kama ndoa ni hivyo"....?shetani amejaza ujinga kwa wengi ,amepotosha maana halisi ya ndoa,amefanya watu wakose muelekeo ule ambao walipaswa kuwa nao tokea mwanzo..kujiheshimu na upendo...kila mmoja wetu akijiheshimu na kuwa na upendo haya matatizo ya ndoa hayatatoka mlangoni..tukijifunza kuvumiliana na kuchukuliana na kuacha kuhesabiana makosa tukijifunza kusameheana ..ndoa haina mikiki hata kidogo ingawa mnaweza gongana sumtymz lkn alwyz lazima mfikie suluhisho ...watu wakiacha kukurupuka kwenye maamuzi ya nani awe mke/mume wangu pengine itasaidia..tusiingie kwenye ndoa kwa kuwa mwenzi huyu kipato chake ni kikubwa au ana hichi na hichi...mara nyingi watu wanaoa/olewa na wenzi ambao si wa kwa wao ..amini usiamni if thats not your rib your marriage will never work out...utakuta mtu kaolewa na mume mwenye pesa ..ikatokea yule mume either kaachishwa kazi au kapata tatizo la kudumu na kushindwa kuzalisha kipato kile cha kawaida...ni wangapi wanaobaki?sasa hapo unajifunza nini?palikua na pendo la kweli au mtu alifuata kipato?

    Back to thread..kwa nn jamii inampa nafasi ya kwanza mwanandoa...ni sbb ndoa ni kama serikali...usifikiri wewe utashindwa kuongoza nyumba yako ya watu ie 5 ukaweza kuongoza watu 1000 huko nje, lakini utakapoweza kufanikisha mambo ya nyumbani kwako inatuaminisha hata sisi wengine.
     
  17. H

    Hute JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Nov 25, 2010
    Messages: 3,499
    Likes Received: 383
    Trophy Points: 180
    bro, inategemeeana na mwanamke wa aina gani uliyemwoa, msomi, mama wa nyumbani goli kipa, mfanya biashara, ana pesa au anakutegemea wewe asilimia mia moja. kamaa ni msomi au ana pesa, na wewe una pesa na ni msomi, yeye ametoka kwake akiwa na meno salasini na mbili na wewe hivyo hivyo, mmekulia familia tofauti zenye tabia tofauti, mikwaruzo haiepukiki, ni ya lazima, ila ni ule mwaka wa kwanza na wa pili tu, mkiishi zaidi ya hapo, mnasomana na kushibana hapo ndo mtaishi kwa mipaka na kuheshimiana kila mmoja kwa nafasi yake, la sivyo, huwa inaweza kutokea mapambano ya kushindania ukubwa au utoaji maamuzi ndani ya familia, labda uwe mwanaume *****.....wewe mwanaume ukiona mwanamke haleti challenge yeyote tangu umemuoa, ujue huyo mwanamke ni mbumbumbu au anaishi na wewe kwasababu ya interest fulani tu na anaogopa akikukwaruza lazima utamtema etc, lakini yule aliyekupenda na ana akili timamu, lazima atapenda kuwa huru mbele yako, hatapenda kuishi kama mtumwa ndani ya ndoa yaani atakuwa open kufanya kama alivyokuwa amezoea alipokuwa single, hapo ndopo mikwaruzo inatokea, lakini kwasababu ana akili, mkisettle mnayamaliza mapema na anakuwa mwelewa nini mipaka yake na nini mipaka yako...hapo ndo mtaishi vizuri sasa. ila hakuna ndoa isiyokuwa na mikwaruzo.

    cha muhimu kujua ni kwamba, kuishi bila ndoa ni uzinzi, na ni dhambi...ila pamoja na mikwaruzo, hakuna kitu kizuri na chenye raha kama ndoa, hasa ukimwoa yule mnayeshibana na kwendana....ninyi ambao bado mko nje ya ndoa, mnazini na mnapoteza muda....na kukosa raha na mambo mengi.
     
  18. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #18
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
    Messages: 8,572
    Likes Received: 692
    Trophy Points: 280
    Hute, ukipata muda pitia huu uzi hapa chini, niliwahi kuuweka hapa JF siku za nyuma kidogo:

    http://www.jamiiforums.com/mahusiano-mapenzi-urafiki/178726-nitakuwa-mnafiki-nikisema-kuwa-mimi-na-mama-ngina-hatugombani.html
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  19. H

    Hute JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Nov 25, 2010
    Messages: 3,499
    Likes Received: 383
    Trophy Points: 180
  20. bonna

    bonna JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 18, 2012
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
    Messages: 790
    Likes Received: 99
    Trophy Points: 45
    Hakuna Lolote!!! hii nchi inaharibiwa kwa kuwa na uwezo mdogo wa kufikiri kama hivi..tunaona wanandoa kibao wanafanya mambo ya aibu...Ndoa ni msalaba na sio kipimo cha akili au uwezo wa mtu kufikiri....kila mtu anaishi mara moja tu...its you who define your destiny...not living other's destiny.....Badili mtazamo.
     
Loading...