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Good ones

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by popiexo, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. popiexo

    popiexo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 25, 2011
    Joined: Oct 26, 2010
    Messages: 744
    Likes Received: 3
    Trophy Points: 35
    [FONT=&quot]The Silent Treatment [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]morning business flight. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM " He left it where he[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]knew she would find it. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]wife [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up." [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]WIFE VS. HUSBAND[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]wanted to concede their position. [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]"Yep," the wife replied, " in-laws"[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]W OMEN'S REVENGE[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]to purchase. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]television set in her purse. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]me,and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]legally." [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]W O R D S[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]day. 30,000 to a man's 15,000. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]everything to men... [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]CREATION[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    WHO DOES WHAT [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]coffee each morning. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]coffee." [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]that the man should do the coffee." [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Bible, and opened the New Testament [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]............." HEBREWS" [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]God may have created man before woman,[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot][/FONT]
     
  2. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 25, 2011
    Joined: Mar 12, 2009
    Messages: 10,227
    Likes Received: 67
    Trophy Points: 145
    Ndefu sana halafu kingreza.
     
  3. Zasasule

    Zasasule JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 26, 2011
    Joined: Aug 12, 2009
    Messages: 1,008
    Likes Received: 6
    Trophy Points: 135
    nyc1
     
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