Geography of a woman

[Kyakya]

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half Discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with Fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America , well Developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, Relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France - Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia , lost the War - haunted by past mistakes. Massive Reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia , very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia , with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, they become Afghanistan.Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

 

[Kyakya]

This is funny!!

Mtoto mmoja mwenye umri wa miaka 9 alikuwa anahitaji
sana shilingi
100,000
(laki moja). Akamuuliza mama yake ni jinsi gani
anaweza kupata pesa
hizo.
Mama yake akamwambia "muombe Mungu atakupatia. Mtoto
alianza kuomba
kila
siku na kila mara lakini hakupata hiyo pesa toka kwa
Mungu. Hatimaye
akafikia uamuzi wa kumuandikia barua Mungu ili asome
maombi yake.

Kisha akai-post barua ile. Wakati wafanyakazi wa
posta wakichambua
barua
kwa ajili ya kuzipeleka sehemu husika, walishangazwa
kuona bahasha
iliyoandikwa "Kwa Mwenyezi Mungu" na wakashindwa
kuelewa mahali pa
kuipeleka, Wakaamua kuifungua.

Barua ilisomeka hivi:

" Mpendwa Mungu,

Jina langu ni EMMANUELEY, nina umri wa miaka 9 na
ninasoma darasa la
tatu
katika jiji la Dar es salaam ambalo liko katika nchi
ya Tanzania bara la Africa .

Nimeamua kukuandikia barua hii kukuomba kiasi cha
shilingi laki moja
baada
ya kuomba bila kupata majibu toka kwako.

Naomba sana unisaidie kwani mimi ni mtoto mdogo na
sina uwezo wa kufanya
kazi na kupata pesa. Pia wazazi wangu hawana uwezo
kwani hata nchi yetu
ni
maskini sana .
Natanguliza shukrani.

Wako mtiifu,


EMMA."

Wafanyakazi wa posta walifurahishwa sana na barua
hiyo na kisha wakaamua
waipeleke kwa Rais KIKWETE . Rais KIKWETE naye
alipoipokea ilimfurahisha
sana na kisha akamwambia Secretary wake achukue sh.
2000 amtumie mtoto
huyo
akidhani kuwa pesa hizo ataziona kuwa nyingi sana .

Mtoto huyo alipopokea hizo shilingi 2000 alijibu
hivi:

"Mpendwa Mungu wangu,

Nashukuru sana kwa kusikiliza maombi yangu na
kunitumia pesa
nilizokuomba.
Lakini nimebaini kuwa uliamua kuzituma kupitia
serikali yetu ya Tanzania
.
Kama ilivyo kawaida yao hao wezi, wamekata kiasi cha
sh. 98,000 kwa
ajili
ya kodi , kwa hiyo wameniletea Sh. 2000 tu.

 

[fige]

Na jigrafia ya mwanaume ikoje ?

 

[Kyakya]

Why condoms Come in packets of 3, 6 & 12

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are
these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are
there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE
for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "
Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a
12 pack!


With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the
husbands.

ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March, ONE for April........"

 

[Ulimakafu]

This is funny!!

Mtoto mmoja mwenye umri wa miaka 9 alikuwa anahitaji
sana shilingi
100,000
(laki moja). Akamuuliza mama yake ni jinsi gani
anaweza kupata pesa
hizo.
Mama yake akamwambia "muombe Mungu atakupatia. Mtoto
alianza kuomba
kila
siku na kila mara lakini hakupata hiyo pesa toka kwa
Mungu. Hatimaye
akafikia uamuzi wa kumuandikia barua Mungu ili asome
maombi yake.

Kisha akai-post barua ile. Wakati wafanyakazi wa
posta wakichambua
barua
kwa ajili ya kuzipeleka sehemu husika, walishangazwa
kuona bahasha
iliyoandikwa "Kwa Mwenyezi Mungu" na wakashindwa
kuelewa mahali pa
kuipeleka, Wakaamua kuifungua.

Barua ilisomeka hivi:

" Mpendwa Mungu,

Jina langu ni EMMANUELEY, nina umri wa miaka 9 na
ninasoma darasa la
tatu
katika jiji la Dar es salaam ambalo liko katika nchi
ya Tanzania bara la Africa .

Nimeamua kukuandikia barua hii kukuomba kiasi cha
shilingi laki moja
baada
ya kuomba bila kupata majibu toka kwako.

Naomba sana unisaidie kwani mimi ni mtoto mdogo na
sina uwezo wa kufanya
kazi na kupata pesa. Pia wazazi wangu hawana uwezo
kwani hata nchi yetu
ni
maskini sana .
Natanguliza shukrani.

Wako mtiifu,


EMMA."

Wafanyakazi wa posta walifurahishwa sana na barua
hiyo na kisha wakaamua
waipeleke kwa Rais KIKWETE . Rais KIKWETE naye
alipoipokea ilimfurahisha
sana na kisha akamwambia Secretary wake achukue sh.
2000 amtumie mtoto
huyo
akidhani kuwa pesa hizo ataziona kuwa nyingi sana .

Mtoto huyo alipopokea hizo shilingi 2000 alijibu
hivi:

"Mpendwa Mungu wangu,

Nashukuru sana kwa kusikiliza maombi yangu na
kunitumia pesa
nilizokuomba.
Lakini nimebaini kuwa uliamua kuzituma kupitia
serikali yetu ya Tanzania
.
Kama ilivyo kawaida yao hao wezi, wamekata kiasi cha
sh. 98,000 kwa
ajili
ya kodi , kwa hiyo wameniletea Sh. 2000 tu.

Teh teh teh............

 

[unejoune]

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half Discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with Fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America , well Developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, Relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France - Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia , lost the War - haunted by past mistakes. Massive Reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia , very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia , with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
After 70, they become Afghanistan.Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Inaendana na ukweli, asante mkuu

 

[lutamyo]

Jf is never borrin..... Teh! Teh! Teh! Mmmh... Mbafu sangu jamani

 

[Shapu]

that is nice....nimeipenda

 

[Masikini_Jeuri]

Why condoms Come in packets of 3, 6 & 12

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are
these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in
health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are
there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE
for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy.

He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "
Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for
Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a
12 pack!


With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the
husbands.

ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March, ONE for April........"

Ni ukweli kuwa husbands tunakuwa deprived na hii necessary and very important service!

 

[chapaa]

Huyo dogo naye alikuwa mpunguzi

 

[Kyakya]

Na jigrafia ya mwanaume ikoje ?

Kesho nitai-posti ya Mwanaume stay tuned!

 

[Relief]

acha uzushi weweeeee......muone vile