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Geography of a woman

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kyakya, Oct 21, 2011.

  1. Kyakya

    Kyakya JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Apr 24, 2009
    Messages: 396
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    Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half Discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with Fertile deltas.
    Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America , well Developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
    Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, Relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
    Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France - Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
    Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia , lost the War - haunted by past mistakes. Massive Reconstruction is now necessary.
    Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia , very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

    Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia , with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
    After 70, they become Afghanistan.Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
     
  2. Kyakya

    Kyakya JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Apr 24, 2009
    Messages: 396
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    This is funny!!

    Mtoto mmoja mwenye umri wa miaka 9 alikuwa anahitaji
    sana shilingi
    100,000
    (laki moja). Akamuuliza mama yake ni jinsi gani
    anaweza kupata pesa
    hizo.
    Mama yake akamwambia "muombe Mungu atakupatia. Mtoto
    alianza kuomba
    kila
    siku na kila mara lakini hakupata hiyo pesa toka kwa
    Mungu. Hatimaye
    akafikia uamuzi wa kumuandikia barua Mungu ili asome
    maombi yake.

    Kisha akai-post barua ile. Wakati wafanyakazi wa
    posta wakichambua
    barua
    kwa ajili ya kuzipeleka sehemu husika, walishangazwa
    kuona bahasha
    iliyoandikwa "Kwa Mwenyezi Mungu" na wakashindwa
    kuelewa mahali pa
    kuipeleka, Wakaamua kuifungua.

    Barua ilisomeka hivi:

    " Mpendwa Mungu,

    Jina langu ni EMMANUELEY, nina umri wa miaka 9 na
    ninasoma darasa la
    tatu
    katika jiji la Dar es salaam ambalo liko katika nchi
    ya Tanzania bara la Africa .

    Nimeamua kukuandikia barua hii kukuomba kiasi cha
    shilingi laki moja
    baada
    ya kuomba bila kupata majibu toka kwako.

    Naomba sana unisaidie kwani mimi ni mtoto mdogo na
    sina uwezo wa kufanya
    kazi na kupata pesa. Pia wazazi wangu hawana uwezo
    kwani hata nchi yetu
    ni
    maskini sana .
    Natanguliza shukrani.

    Wako mtiifu,


    EMMA."

    Wafanyakazi wa posta walifurahishwa sana na barua
    hiyo na kisha wakaamua
    waipeleke kwa Rais KIKWETE . Rais KIKWETE naye
    alipoipokea ilimfurahisha
    sana na kisha akamwambia Secretary wake achukue sh.
    2000 amtumie mtoto
    huyo
    akidhani kuwa pesa hizo ataziona kuwa nyingi sana .

    Mtoto huyo alipopokea hizo shilingi 2000 alijibu
    hivi:

    "Mpendwa Mungu wangu,

    Nashukuru sana kwa kusikiliza maombi yangu na
    kunitumia pesa
    nilizokuomba.
    Lakini nimebaini kuwa uliamua kuzituma kupitia
    serikali yetu ya Tanzania
    .
    Kama ilivyo kawaida yao hao wezi, wamekata kiasi cha
    sh. 98,000 kwa
    ajili
    ya kodi , kwa hiyo wameniletea Sh. 2000 tu.
     
  3. fige

    fige JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Jul 4, 2010
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    Na jigrafia ya mwanaume ikoje ?
     
  4. Kyakya

    Kyakya JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Apr 24, 2009
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    Why condoms Come in packets of 3, 6 & 12

    A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.
    They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are
    these, Dad?

    To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
    son. Men use them to have safe sex."

    "Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. Yes, I've heard of that in
    health class at school."

    He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are
    there 3 in this package?"

    The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, ONE for Friday, ONE
    for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday."

    "Cool" says the boy.

    He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "
    Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO for Friday, TWO for
    Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

    "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a
    12 pack!


    With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the
    husbands.

    ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March, ONE for April........"
     
  5. U

    Ulimakafu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Mar 18, 2011
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    Teh teh teh............
     
  6. unejoune

    unejoune Senior Member

    #6
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Apr 1, 2011
    Messages: 163
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    Inaendana na ukweli, asante mkuu
     
  7. lutamyo

    lutamyo JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Apr 13, 2011
    Messages: 621
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    Jf is never borrin..... Teh! Teh! Teh! Mmmh... Mbafu sangu jamani
     
  8. Shapu

    Shapu JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Jan 17, 2008
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    that is nice....nimeipenda
     
  9. Masikini_Jeuri

    Masikini_Jeuri JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Jan 19, 2010
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    Ni ukweli kuwa husbands tunakuwa deprived na hii necessary and very important service!
     
  10. chapaa

    chapaa JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Feb 19, 2008
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    Huyo dogo naye alikuwa mpunguzi
     
  11. Kyakya

    Kyakya JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Apr 24, 2009
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    Kesho nitai-posti ya Mwanaume stay tuned!
     
  12. Relief

    Relief JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 21, 2011
    Joined: Aug 6, 2010
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    acha uzushi weweeeee......muone vile
     
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