Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

few jokes!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by SnEafer, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. SnEafer

    SnEafer Senior Member

    #1
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: Apr 1, 2009
    Messages: 154
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Hi i never posted anything here but i came across a series of jokes, thought maybe i should share with u guys.
    hee goes :-


    Mr. Bean

    RAIN TUMOR :

    Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
    Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

    Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
    Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

    Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
    Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!




    2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL :


    Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

    Mr. Bean: 9

    Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

    M r. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!




    3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE :

    Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
    Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
    Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!





    4) AT AN ATM MACHINE :


    Friend: What are you looking at?

    Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

    Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

    Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!




    5) Marriage :


    Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?

    Mr. Bean: 16

    Friend: Why?

    Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse..


    6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND :


    Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

    Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.

    Friend: What tape did you take anyway?

    Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner..


    7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER :


    Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead..

    Friend: condolence, my friend.

    (After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder

    Friend: what now?

    Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!


    8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING :


    Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

    Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.


    9) SPELLLING LESSON :


    Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?

    Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!




    [FONT=&quot]HOUSE BOY: BAKARI
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Bakari is a house boy who every day drinks the wine of his Boss and puts water in the bottle to replace what he drank. But the Boss having suspicions as for the quality of the wine, he decides to buy pastis (a French wine that changes colour if you add water).
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Bakari as usual, takes a mouthful and add water to replace what he drank However, soon after he added water the pastis became milky.

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]When the Boss came back and noticed it, he was sure he had managed to nail Bakari as thief!!! At that same moment Bakari realized he was in trouble and decided to go into the kitchen.
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]The Boss told his wife that 'Mary, you will see today, he will be obliged to acknowledge'. So he calls Bakari.

    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]He shouted:[/FONT][FONT=&quot] 'Bakari!'.
    Bakari answered: 'Yes, Boss'.
    Boss: 'Who drank my pastis?'.
    No answer.
    The Boss reiterated his question: 'Who drank my wine?'Still;
    No answer.
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Then the Boss went to fetch Bakari from the kitchen and says to him:
    You insane or what? Why when I call you, you say yes boss' but when I ask you a question you don't answer me?
    [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
    Bakari retorted that 'It is that boss, when you are in the kitchen there, you don't hear anything at all, except the name.

    Then to prove that Bakari lies, the Boss says to him: 'You stay beside Madam here, me I go in the kitchen, and you ask me a question '. Bakari accepted and the Boss went in the kitchen.

    Bakari shouted: 'Boss'..
    He answered: 'Yes, Bakari'.
    Bakari continued: 'Who goes in the maid bedroom when the Madam is not here? '.
    No answer.
    Bakari shouted again: 'Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?'
    No answer.
    Bakari shouted again (third time): 'Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?'

    The Boss returns from the kitchen running and says, Bakari; it is true, you are right. When one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, only the name!


    [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT][FONT=&quot]Good day, enjoy!!![/FONT]
     
  2. k

    kela72 Senior Member

    #2
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: May 5, 2008
    Messages: 168
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Heheheee, koh koho!! nimepaliwa du! Ptu!! nimetema kohozi. Ya Bakari kali ssana!
     
  3. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 28, 2009
    Joined: May 23, 2008
    Messages: 4,746
    Likes Received: 9
    Trophy Points: 135
    Huo mvinyo mbona umezua jambo!!
     
  4. K

    Kamuna JF-Expert Member

    #4
    May 3, 2009
    Joined: Mar 19, 2009
    Messages: 282
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 35
    Imetulia!Bakari Kichwa kweli kweli!
     
Loading...