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Familia "zisizoolewa" au "oa"

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Baba_Enock, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 24, 2011
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    Wana MMU

    Kuna rafiki yangu amekuwa kwenye ndoa karibia miaka 10 sasa .. Hivi majuzi ndoa yao imeanza kupata migogoro ambayo yeye binafsi hajui chanzo chake nini.. Mwazoni alihisi labda mkewe amepata "kidumu", kwahiyo akafanya uchunguzi lakini hajafanikiwa kuhakiki kama ndivyo au sivyo.

    Kadri siku zinavyokwenda pale nyumbani panazidi kuwa pagumu kuishi.. Na hivi sasa ameaanza kuwa anakaa kwenye mabaa muda mrefu sana kuliko ilivyokuwa hapo awali maana ananiambia kuwa ni heri amkute mkewe ameshalala vinginevyo inakuwa na maneno ya kuudhi tu..

    Jana tulikuwa baa moja mitaa ya Tegeta - Why Not PUB - tunapata biya na baada ya kuchangamka tukaanza kuongelea mahusiano ya ndoa - tulikuwa wanaume kama 8 hivi hapo kaunta na mmoja kati yetu ni mzee wa miaka karibia 60. Baada ya kutusikiliza kwa muda mrefu alitwambia sentensi moja halafu akaondoka. Hapa ninanukuu kauli ya mzee "..vijana sikilizeni..kuna familia ambazo haziolewi wala hazioi.."

    Rafiki yangu alipofanya mahesabu ya haraka haraka upande wa familia ya mke wake aligundua kuwa katika watoto wa kike sita wa familia ya mke wake (mke wake ni nne), wote waliolewa na kuachika na wengine wawili wamezaa njee ya ndoa!

    Je, ni kweli kuwa kuwa familia ambazo wazawa wa familia hizo ni lazima mahusiano yao ya ndoa hayawezi kudumu? (genetic/coincident/??)

    Naomba kuwasilisha...
     
  2. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

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    Ngoja niende lunch nikirudi nitatoa mchango wangu
     
  3. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Genetic..., (absolutely not..) Coincidence (Yes Sometimes...)

    Inaweza ikawa malezi kama familia nzima huwa hakuna uvumilivu (a very important ingredient kwenye ndoa) basi uwezekano utakuwa mkubwa ndoa kutokudumu....,

    Ni kama siku hizi ndoa nyingi hazidumu cause divorces ni jambo la kawaida tofauti na bibi zetu walivyofunzwa kwamba kuachika its a No No na Busara na kuvumilia mabaya ya Babu zetu its Must
     
  4. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Aya ya pili kutoka mwisho haieleweki...“ni lazima mahusino yao ya ndoa yamefanyaje jata yasidumu???

    Au unamaanisha kwamba familia kama hiyo ambayo wote wanaonekana wana matatizo kwenye mahusiano!?Kama jibu ni ndio basi nadhani inategemea na malezi pia tabia zao na sio genetics.
     
  5. Kimey

    Kimey JF-Expert Member

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    Komredi hapa naona unazungumzia mada mbili, Familia zisizoolewa au oa na Familia zinazo achika? hapa tujadili kipi?
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Zinaoa/oleka bali hazidumu!!
     
  7. nyumba kubwa

    nyumba kubwa JF-Expert Member

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    Kuna ka ukweli ndani yake. Ukitumia logic tu; mimi kama dada zangu wako nyumbani itakuwa ngumu kuvumilia upuuzi wa mume wakati najua nikirudi home hakuna atakaye nishangaa. Ugumu unakuja pale kama other members of family wote wako kwenye ndoa zao; unaachika unaenda wapi? Hence kuna ka pull factor hapo! Na ukawii kuta madada walio single wakawa wanambeza mdogo wao kwa kuwa kifungoni ili hali wao wanajirusha. Aaah. Kazi kweli kweli.
     
  8. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

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    Nimetumia maneno mawili "olewa" na "oa" ili kuweka uwiano wa ki-jinsia..

    Swali la msingi ni "Je kuna familia ambazo wazaliwa wake (me/ke) wanapoingia kwenye ndoa, ni lazima (by default) mahusiano hayo ya ndoa hayadumu - wanachwa au wanaachika - baada ya nuda fulani?"

    Ni hilo tu kiongozi..
     
  9. Pearl

    Pearl JF-Expert Member

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    mmh nadhani wazazi walikuwa na maana sana zoz daiz kutafutia watoto wao wachumba maana walitaka waoe au waolewe na koo wanazozifaham vyema,koo zisizo na tatizo la kifafa,uchawi,ugumba/tasa,albino(zoz daiz iliaminika ni laana)vichaa etc
    My take: ni vyema kufahamu sana upande wa familia unayooa/kuolewa kabla ya watu kula pilau la harusi.,koo nyengine nuksi kila mume anaeoa baada ya mda flani anakufa,au unaoa/olewa na mtu fulani hakuna cha mafanikio kila ufanyalo nuksi tupu.
    MKE/MUME MWEMA ANATOKA KWA BWANA,TUOMBE BILA KUCHOKA NA TUTAPEWA KWA WAKATI WAKE.
     
  10. B

    Bajabiri JF-Expert Member

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    Mambo ya kuzingatia kabla hujaoa hasa kwa mwanaume
    1.Iman ya dini ya mkeo mtarajiwa,,,mcheki kivipi anamuofia mungu wake?kama ana imani madhubuti chukua jiko.
    2.Urembo/uzuri,anapaswa awe mrembo kwa mtazamo wako....maana hata ukirudi home umechoka na mihangaiko wyf atakufariji kwa urembo alonao na mashamsham ya mahaba.
    3.Nasaba yake,yaani angalia connection ya familia ya mkeo mtarajiwa.....je wana trend ya maradhi???acha....je wakorofi? acha.....je wana tabia za ajabu ajabu????....acha...wanaishije na majirani zao????
    4.Angalia kipato......inashauriwa mume uoe mke ambaye ana weza kuku-support ikitokea umefulia au una matatizo ya kiuchumi....ina maana utakaemuoa awe mtu wa kujishughulisha kwa kazi au shughuli yeyote ya halali
     
  11. charger

    charger JF-Expert Member

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    Malezi yana mchango mkubwa kujenga tabia ya mtu,kama mtu ametoka katika familia ya magomvi na mifarakano ya wazazi,au familia za kuishi kila mtu kivyake ni bahati sana akajakupata nyumba yake ambayo itakuwa imara.Japo jamaa ameshaingia mkenge huo utafiti angeufanya kabla sio leo ndio aanze haitasaidia zaidi ya kubomoa zaidi.Ameyakoroga 4 ten years ayanywe sasa
     
  12. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

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    Lizzy,

    Hapo BOLDED umenipata vizuri..ondoa !?

    Rafiki yangu baada ya kufanya utafiti wake leo baada ya "beer" kuisha kichwani amegundua kuwa:-

    Bibi ya mke wake aliachika ndoa yake ya kwanza akaolewa na mwanaume mwingine
    Mama ya mke wake aliachika ndoa ya kwanza akaolewa na mume mwingine (ambaye ndiye baba mkwe wake)
    Dada zake wawili na mke wake wameachika na hawajaolewa tena....

    Yote hayo alikuwa anayajua lakini baada ya hii migogoro na mke wake na kauli ya yule mzee anahisi kama ndoa yake haitasimama daima dumu!
     
  13. Kimey

    Kimey JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Ok kwa hiyo zile zisiolewa itabidi tuzitafutie thread yake
     
  14. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    Uvumilivu na Busara... sioni kwenye list yako ila Amini Nakwambia bila hizi ingridients mbili hakuna ndoa itakayodumu na hata hayo yote ya kwenye list yako yakiwa hayapo
     
  15. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

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    nyumba kubwa,
    hiyo bolded sentensi imenifanya nifikirie sana - lakini sasa ukisoma post #12 hii familia ni kama ina-trend ya kuachika! and that makes me think it may be associated with DNA structures!
     
  16. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Hata siziso-oleka same things Hizi nyakati za watu kuchagua na kupepeleza kabla ya kuoa huenda kuna ingredient fulani watu wameona na hawajavutia au Familia its independent its all in Malezi; Lakini I think they is no such thing as familia zisizo-olewa
     
  17. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #17
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    yeah - hizo zinahitaji thread nyingine kiongozi - hapa naongelea zile zinazo-beep ndoa - ingia baada ya muda toka!
     
  18. RR

    RR JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 24, 2011
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    Anamaanisha familia zisimudu ndoa...yaani output zote ni waruwaru....kwamba wazee wanawashauri msioe toka familia hizo...

    Back to swali la BE....
    Sijui ni nini...ila kuna familia ni vimeo asee....ukioa huko we kwisha..?
     
  19. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #19
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    You cant be Serious.., tafadhali niambie this is a JOKE
     
  20. Kimey

    Kimey JF-Expert Member

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    nimekupata kamanda..
    Kuna ka ukweli fulani ila ni ngumu ku prove na hii inachangia sanaa na malezi ya watoto
     
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