(1) They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. (2) As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank. (3) Q: Why do women live longer than men? A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does! (4) Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u. After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u. (5) Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. (6) Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. (7) Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! (8) Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.