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Ex-GF kajitangaza anao, napata kero vibaya

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtu B, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. M

    Mtu B JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Kuna demu alikuwa girlfriend wangu zamani, majuzi kaonekana kitaa anahamasisha masuala ya UKIMWI na amejitangaza laivu kuwa na yeye pia anayo ngoma. Washkaji kibao wanaelewa nilikuwa namega. Lakini mie siku zote nimetumia kondomu. Sasa tangu amejitangaza huyo demu napigiwa simu na sms kibao za kunipa pole kama vile nami pia nina ngoma! Kwa kadri ninavyojua ngoma inaenea kwa kufanya ngono zembe, na mimi sikufanya hivyo hata siku moja.

    Najua hata nikitangaza redioni kuwa mi sina ngoma watu hawataniamini, na sasa naona hata mchumba nitakosa, maana hii habari ni mbaya kinoma!

    Nishaurini wakubwa. Naomba msinishutumu mnaposhauri, sikupanga yatokee kama yalivyotokea. Nifanyeje niaminike? Tabia flani mbaya nilizokuwa nazo zamani zote nimeacha, lakini naona hii ya huyu demu kujitangaza itatibua kila kitu!
     
  2. Junius

    Junius JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Mkuu,bila kurefusha hadithi, nenda kapime, vinginevyo utaishi kwa wasiwasi na utajitia maradhi ya fikra bure(stress)
     
  3. Ngongo

    Ngongo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Kaka Kwanza nakupa pole sana kwa masahibu yaliyokupata.
    Ukitaka kuepukana na dhihaka au namna nyingine ya kunyanyapaliwa nakushauri kapime habari,eti ulikuwa haufanyi ngono hazita saidia kitu.
     
  4. Masanilo

    Masanilo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Ishi kwa matumaini, nenda kapima na uchukue majibu yako!
     
  5. Lyangalo

    Lyangalo JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 14, 2009
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    acha longolongo nenda kapime utupe majibu. Ndo tukushauri
     
  6. C

    Consultant JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 14, 2009
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  7. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Mtu B,

    Inatia faraja kuona kuwa wewe ni mtu mwenye sound mind. Maana tukio hilo tu kwa wengine wenye roho fupi lingeweza kuwaharibia mental stability yao.

    Cha kwanza mimi nakushauri ukapime. Pata majibu yako, kama ni negative, nakushauri ukapime tena mara ya pili sehemu tofauti, ili kuwa na uhakika zaidi, si wajua vipimo vyetu bongo.

    Kingine, kama watu mbalimbali wanafahamu kuwa huyo aliyeenda live alikuwa mwenza wako, ni bora uka-establish mawasiliano naye, iwe majibu yako yako negative au positive. Kwani naye anahitaji support. Unless kama uliachana naye kwa vita. Hata kama, kutokana na yale yaliyomkumba, binadamu hubadilika na mnaweza kuongea naye na kuonesha moral support. Na kama majibu yako (God forbid) yako positive, basi haijalishi pia. Ku-network na wenzako walioathirika ni jambo la msingi katika kutatua maswala mbalimbali ya stigma na yote yaendanayo na walioathirika.

    Kingine ambacho naona hujakidokezea ni muda gani umepita tangu mmeachana naye, waweza kutueleza...

    Nakushauri endelea kuwa strong na mwenye hope irrespective of the outcome ya kupima.

    SteveD.
     
  8. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Hehehehe dah mkuu hongera kwa kutumia zana lakini yawezekana yupo kikazi zaidi.
     
  9. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Nov 14, 2009
    Joined: Apr 12, 2008
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    Pole sana Mtu B;

    Kwanza kabisa naomba nikuondoe wasiwasi, ukimwi siyo kifo kama wengi wanavyodani, ni chronic illness inayoletwa na vimelea HIV ukimwi hauui ila ni magonjwa nyemelezi ndio yanayoua!!

    Pili nakupongeza kwa kutumia kinga wakati unamega huyo dada

    Tatu nakushauri kapime ili u-clear all doubts kwako na kwa community. Majibu yabaki kuwa siri yako na uwapendao tu!!

    Nne, muunge mkono huyo dada asilimia mia moja ili mfanikiwe kueneza habari sahih kuhusu ukimwi, nakuambia utajifunza mengi sana kuhusu ukimwi kama utamuunga mkono huyo dada - Take My word!!

    Usitie shaka, mimi nasema ni hatari zaidi kuugua Kansa, Kisukari, Upofu, Uziwi na maradhi ya figo, maini , moyo nk. kuliko ukimwi

    MTM
     
  10. M

    Mtu B JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Natamani ingekuwa kweli yuko kikazi au kisanii, lakini kwa jinsi ninavyomfahamu personality yake yule hawezi kucheza maigizo ya hivyo, itakuwa ni kweli ngoma!

    Kupima niko tayari na jibu la positive siliogopi, lakini kinachoniumiza zaidi ni haya matangazo, maana mimi siko tayari kujitangaza. Lakini kwa kujitangaza kwake ni kama keshanitangaza na mimi tayari hata kama jibu langu litakuwa negative.
     
  11. M

    Mtu B JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Mambo yetu tulimalizana tulipoondoka chuo 3 years ago. Na wala hatukugombana wala nini, ni mawasiliano yalianza kufifia taratibu hadi ikawa hakuna anayemtafuta mwenzie, ikawa ndio mwisho kiaina.

    Kipimo nitaenda, lakini navuta muda kidogo vumbi litulie, maana nahisi hata watu wakiniona naingia hicho chumba cha vipimo wataongeza matangazo na sijui nitajificha wapi! Jibu la positive siliogopi, ingawa natamani sana jibu la negative maana nimezingatia sana kufanya ngono salama. Lakini hata nikipata hilo jibu la positive, sipendi kujitangaza kama alivyofanya huyo demu, kila mtu ana upendeleo wake bana!

    Lakini watu wanachukulia kujitangaza kwake kuwa na mimi pia nimetangazwa. Na ushahidi ni hizi simu na sms! Ni kero ya ajabu watu wangu, hamjui tu!
     
  12. M

    Mtu B JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Mkuu MTM hiyo niliyobold ndiyo ambayo siiwezi kabisa, naiona ngumu kupita kiasi wala sitaki kuifikiria. Unajua kila mtu na roho yake bana, kuna anayeona kujitangaza ana ngoma ni poa, lakini mie kweli siwezi hata kidogo. Kwani lazima anayepima ajitangaze? Au kwani ni lazima anayeunga mkono mapambano dhidi ya UKIMWI kwani lazima naye aseme anao?
     
  13. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Mtu B,
    Kumuunga mtu mkono haimaanishi kama nawe umekuwa mwathirika. Remember those around you who cares and knows you, know about your past relationship, unless otherwise offcourse. And those are the same ones who may or might not know about your status. Going underground ain't gonna phase out those in the look out to know whether you're in it or you out. So it goes without saying that, pengine kujificha ficha ndiyo huko kutakako fuel rumours kuwa unao hata pale kama utapima na kujikuta huna. Btw, miaka 3 bila dalili yoyote yaweza kuwa jambo jema pia. Ni ishara kuwa hauna au immunity system yako ni nzuri na una afya njema irrespective ya kuwa au kutokuwa nao.
     
  14. M

    Mtu B JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Kaka nashukuru kwa mawazo yako, lakini unavyozidi kusisitiza matangazo unanichanganya kaka. Kaka kaka kaka, hayajakukuta!

    Hilo la dalili ni kweli sina dalili yoyote, lakini habari ya dalili isikudanganye ndugu yangu! Huyo demu ukimwona hata leo, hana dalili hata ya chunusi! Ana umbo zuri na sura nzuri ajabu, mie bado namzimikia flani, lakini ndo hivyo tena. Usipime kwa macho mshkaji, hii kitu ni noma!
     
  15. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Kumuunga mkono kwa kuwasiliana naye, si kujitangaza. Nina tumaini hata kama unawasiliana naye, sidhani kwamba ndiko kutaridhia au kumfanya yeye atahayari na kukutangaza kuwa wewe ulikuwa mmoja wa wapenzi wake. Anaonekana yuko open minded, kama tu jinsi wewe unavyoonekana kwa jinsi ulivyokwisha jieleza. Kuwasiliana naye kunaweza kukupa mwangaza zaidi kwa kile anachokiona kutokana na yale yaliyomkumba, inawezekana hata akawa anajua chanzo cha kujikwaa kwake, ambapo waweza kujikuta usiwe wewe.

    Si hivyo tu, bali kingine ninachokiona kwa maelezo yako hapa, pamoja na kwamba umejitahidi sana kuhimili swala zima na umeonesha uungwana katika kutoa maelezo; ni kwamba, somewhere am sensing a bit guilty on your part, si kutokana na swala la ugonjwa, bali nikatika handling ya swala hili. Nitakuwa sikutendei haki kama unavyosema as am not in your shoes, nor will i fit in them. Lakini nahisi unajiona kabisa kuwa unaweza au una uwezo wa kufanya communication naye bila kuongeza au kupunguza matatizo yaliyopo tayari, bali kuna some sort of objection force ipo inakuzunguka na usingependa kuonekana umeisaliti. Ofcourse, do follow what your heart sends you to do, but exercising logic is also important. Will you gain or lose out by talking to someone whom is the sole cause of all your anxieties?
     
  16. M

    MaMkwe JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Nov 14, 2009
    Joined: Sep 5, 2007
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    Kapate ushauri nasaha na kupima. Chukuwa majibu, kama u salama, jilinde usiambukizwe. Tabia ya kumegamega ikome. Tafuta mwenzi mnaeaminiana, mkapime mjenge familia. Kuonja onja, siku moja utaonja mboga zisizoliwa. Kuna ushahidi wa kitabibu unaoonyesha kuwa kondom si kinga ya ukimwa kwa asilimia mia moja. Unaweza kutumia kondom na bado ukaambukizwa Ukimwi.
     
  17. L

    Ledwin JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Pole sana Mtu B ,naelewa how hard it is,nacho kuomba katika kipindi hichi (maana yataisha na utasahau tu) uwe makini sana,kwa kuwaza haya yaliyotokea pasipo solution ya haraka ni kukaribisha magonjwa mengine kama Pressure,ulers etc.sasa wewe tulia na anza kitu kipya ,kama GYM ,au jiengage na activities yoyote ikukeep busy mpaka mambo yatakapobadilika,na hao wanaoku sms na wao je wako salama??,so wewe wakikutumia waweza usiwajibu au wajibu unashukuru taarifa unazo then full stop,niliambiwa na dada yangu kama kuna kitu kinatokea kwenye maisha yako cha kukusumbua ,mfano kufiwa,divorce etc,basi solution ya mwanzo kabisa ,ni kufanya kitu kipya kama nilivyokueleza,kujiregister na GYM au kurudi shule na kuanza course etc.zingatia hayo kwasasa.
     
  18. L

    Ledwin JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Mtu B ,kuhusu issue ya Mchumba ,usiwe na wasiwasi,ukipata or kama unaye tayari sijui,Mwanadada ambaye ni mature ataelewa tu,mkikaa chini mkaliongelea vizuri hakutakuwa na shida,haya yanapita yote.
     
  19. MNDEE

    MNDEE JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Mkuu, kutoka na maelezo yako inaonekana huyu mtu kama kuachana si muda mrefu. Cha msingi kama walivyosema wengine nenda kapime, upime mara ngapi itategemeana na huyu mtu uliachana nae lini kama uliachana nae karibuni chances are utatakiwa kupima mara tatu.

    Usiishie kupima tu tumia hii nafasi kujipanga upya na kuweka goals kwenye mahusiano, achana na kurukaruka tafuta mwenzi wa maisha.
     
  20. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Nov 14, 2009
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    Hizo simu na sms watu wanakuambia /kukuuliza nini maana unatakiwa upewe ushauri ni nini cha kuwajibu.
    Sema ushauriwe.
     
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