Herbalist Dr MziziMkavu
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- Feb 3, 2009
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Our new resident single guy, Jake, explains the dilemmas that he and pretty much every man has about love. Here, he reveals eight secret things men want from love.
By Jake
More from Glamour
Hi, New Jake here, the brand-new guy assigned, for the next God knows how long, to write this 53-year-old column about what men think and why. If you've been following along, you know that Old Jake is off the market, trying to make a permanent go of things with his ex. Old Jake, I salute you. I, however, am still stumbling around in the dating wilderness.
A little background: I've had three live-in relationships, as well as long-distance and iChat relationships. But now as I enter my thirties, I've come to the fork in the road where all single men eventually arrive: Should I still be dating, or should I search for something of substance? Let me lay out four arguments for both sides:
Four Reasons to Find The One:
1. Nobody likes to hear their own biography. Again. And again. Meeting new prospects inevitably leads to recycling stories, like the one about my prize-winning stamp collection (hilarious the first 40 times, I swear).
2. Sleeping with the same woman isn't just safer it's better. Consider my last real relationship: In the early days of sex, she bypassed quite a few of my favorite places to be touched, while my foreplay maneuvers nearly put her to sleep. As a one-night stand I would've been left cold, but after some practice, we were on fire.
3. Men can be delusional. Not "I can bend this spoon with my mind" nuts, but certainly "I can wear skinny jeans" misinformed. Trust me, guys need a straight-shooting woman to tell us we're crazy.
4. That creepy old dude hitting on college girls? We live in abject fear of becoming him. Just when I think I'm cool with not finding The One, I see That Guy. And he gives me the willies. Yet I can't deny the allure of the following
Four Reasons to Just Have Fun:
1. A new woman is the world's greatest mystery. What's she going to be like? What's sexy about her? What's weird? A favorite memory: the brunette I met at a bar who rubbed hot candle wax onto my hand without ever speaking. If you're the slightest bit fascinated by people not just the opposite sex dating has an intoxicating appeal.
2. I know only six songs on guitar. And if someone sticks around, she'll have to witness the painful process of my learning a seventh. Then, I'll be exposed for the hack that I am which, let's face it, is the perfect metaphor for what's so scary about love.
3. I don't want to watch the freaking Hills. Or brush my teeth before bed. Or turn down MGMT. Being in a relationship means making compromises. And it should. Dating means never having to negotiate. Selfish but satisfying.
4. I was overstating that sex thing I said earlier. For all the perks of getting to know one person, there's a thrill in someone new and any guy who says otherwise is lying. When I meet a woman, I'm guilty of the following: I wonder how she'll sound in bed, what she's going to do to me and how she'll react to what I do to her. (I have been known to wonder about these things as she's describing the little town where she grew up.) The last thing I want to do is settle down before I've gotten all of this irresponsible behavior out of my system. The love of my life, whoever she is, surely deserves better than that.
It's a lot for a guy to ponder. Is it a little lame that I'm doing it behind a wall of anonymity? Admittedly, yes. That one discretion allows me to bring you the most brutally honest accounts of my experiences. Jake might not be my real name, but it's definitely the real me.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleglamourmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=22463788>1=32023
Our new resident single guy, Jake, explains the dilemmas that he and pretty much every man has about love. Here, he reveals eight secret things men want from love.
By Jake
More from Glamour
- 10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked
- 8 Sex Moves Every Woman Should Try Once
- 5 Secrets All Guys Keep from You
- 9 Outfits You Should Never (Ever) Wear on a Date
- 12 Secret Signs He's Into You
Hi, New Jake here, the brand-new guy assigned, for the next God knows how long, to write this 53-year-old column about what men think and why. If you've been following along, you know that Old Jake is off the market, trying to make a permanent go of things with his ex. Old Jake, I salute you. I, however, am still stumbling around in the dating wilderness.
A little background: I've had three live-in relationships, as well as long-distance and iChat relationships. But now as I enter my thirties, I've come to the fork in the road where all single men eventually arrive: Should I still be dating, or should I search for something of substance? Let me lay out four arguments for both sides:
Four Reasons to Find The One:
1. Nobody likes to hear their own biography. Again. And again. Meeting new prospects inevitably leads to recycling stories, like the one about my prize-winning stamp collection (hilarious the first 40 times, I swear).
2. Sleeping with the same woman isn't just safer it's better. Consider my last real relationship: In the early days of sex, she bypassed quite a few of my favorite places to be touched, while my foreplay maneuvers nearly put her to sleep. As a one-night stand I would've been left cold, but after some practice, we were on fire.
3. Men can be delusional. Not "I can bend this spoon with my mind" nuts, but certainly "I can wear skinny jeans" misinformed. Trust me, guys need a straight-shooting woman to tell us we're crazy.
4. That creepy old dude hitting on college girls? We live in abject fear of becoming him. Just when I think I'm cool with not finding The One, I see That Guy. And he gives me the willies. Yet I can't deny the allure of the following
Four Reasons to Just Have Fun:
1. A new woman is the world's greatest mystery. What's she going to be like? What's sexy about her? What's weird? A favorite memory: the brunette I met at a bar who rubbed hot candle wax onto my hand without ever speaking. If you're the slightest bit fascinated by people not just the opposite sex dating has an intoxicating appeal.
2. I know only six songs on guitar. And if someone sticks around, she'll have to witness the painful process of my learning a seventh. Then, I'll be exposed for the hack that I am which, let's face it, is the perfect metaphor for what's so scary about love.
3. I don't want to watch the freaking Hills. Or brush my teeth before bed. Or turn down MGMT. Being in a relationship means making compromises. And it should. Dating means never having to negotiate. Selfish but satisfying.
4. I was overstating that sex thing I said earlier. For all the perks of getting to know one person, there's a thrill in someone new and any guy who says otherwise is lying. When I meet a woman, I'm guilty of the following: I wonder how she'll sound in bed, what she's going to do to me and how she'll react to what I do to her. (I have been known to wonder about these things as she's describing the little town where she grew up.) The last thing I want to do is settle down before I've gotten all of this irresponsible behavior out of my system. The love of my life, whoever she is, surely deserves better than that.
It's a lot for a guy to ponder. Is it a little lame that I'm doing it behind a wall of anonymity? Admittedly, yes. That one discretion allows me to bring you the most brutally honest accounts of my experiences. Jake might not be my real name, but it's definitely the real me.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleglamourmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=22463788>1=32023
