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Duh.......Hii kali kuliko...............

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Tegelezeni, Sep 15, 2011.

  1. Tegelezeni

    Tegelezeni JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Sep 15, 2011
    Joined: Dec 31, 2009
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    [TABLE="class: MsoNormalTable, width: 100%"]
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    [TD="width: 99%, bgcolor: transparent"]HOME INTERNAL MEMO

    FROM : MOTHER
    [/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]


    TO : ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES

    CC : FATHER

    DATE : TODAY

    ECONOMIC SITUATION, HIGH FOOD COST AND GROUND RULES

    Due to the current economic situation, high food cost, all domestic rules and regulations have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation going to be accepted.

    1. The Kitchen and all stores are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon submission of written request.

    2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!

    3. Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving justifications backed by a qualified dietician's report.

    4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water. For internal decoration, only plastic and dry-flower arrangements shall be permitted.

    5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are medical reasons.

    6. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster I shall make available shortly.(Polisi Shirikishi)

    7. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.

    8. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Clerks; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the house.

    9. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in the house, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).

    10. All visitors intending to spend a night/week or more shall apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement from their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival.

    THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!


    Signed: MUM
    Chairperson of Home Affairs


    CC TRA
    PROVINCIAL ADMINISTRATION
    IMMIGRATION DEPARTMENT
    DOMESTIC PETS
    NEIGHBORS

    This Memo has been drafted after a serious and lengthy discussion with the Chairman of Centre Bureau of Economics and Cost Practitioners
     
  2. d

    deadteja JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 15, 2011
    Joined: Aug 8, 2011
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    Ung'eng'e na mimi have started the race at the same spot but heading in opposite directions! Sina hela ya panadol leo.
     
  3. d

    dy/dx JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 15, 2011
    Joined: Jul 26, 2011
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    Asanteee,tungempata waziri kama huyo tungepiga hatua kimaendeleo.
     
  4. LiverpoolFC

    LiverpoolFC JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 15, 2011
    Joined: Apr 12, 2011
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    2ngempata Waziri kama huyu 2ngekuwa na serikali KAKAMAVU na siyo legelege kama ilivyo ya JK.
     
  5. Humphnicky

    Humphnicky JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 15, 2011
    Joined: Dec 1, 2010
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    Huyu mama lazima ana mchanganyiko wa damu ya kikurya iliyojaa ukatili, ubabe na udikteta. Pia ana damu ya kikinga iliyojaa ubahili na uchawi na mwishowe ana damu ya kipare iliyojaa kupenda kesi na ubahili
     
  6. J

    Jose Aladin Member

    #6
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Sep 8, 2011
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    Mh. . Sio nyumba ya kukaa hyo!
     
  7. ngulinho

    ngulinho JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Jun 13, 2011
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    hii kali lazima itumiwe
     
  8. sakapal

    sakapal JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Apr 11, 2011
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    inarudiwa ilishakuwepo
     
  9. M

    Ma Tuma Senior Member

    #9
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Jul 26, 2011
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    Kwa vipi?
     
  10. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #10
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Oct 29, 2008
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    Hii imeboreshwa bana................
     
  11. L

    LUSIKE Member

    #11
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Sep 7, 2011
    Messages: 12
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    Duh! Hii ni noma hii cyo nyumba ya kukaaa
     
  12. The Magnificent

    The Magnificent JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Jan 6, 2011
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    <br />
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    nani kakwambia wakurya katili,heshimu makabila ya wenzio kama kabila lako linavyoheshimiwa
    shiiit! Ushaniharibia siku
     
  13. Ennie

    Ennie JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Jan 15, 2011
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    Hapo lazima wanafamilia wakatafute hifadhi kwa ndugu na jamaa.
     
  14. C

    Capitani Member

    #14
    Sep 16, 2011
    Joined: Sep 7, 2011
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    Memo ni memo tu haina meno, Nadhani kuna jambo limejificha hapo sio UKATA, wala SIO ubinafsi, nikuonyesha mtu kujali
     
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