jossey1979
Senior Member
- Apr 28, 2008
- 172
- 41
Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk,
as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
asleep.
He gave her a kiss on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed,wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in
my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St
Peter".
Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead??? That can't be, I have so
much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to
send me back Straight away". St Peter replied "Yes, you can be
reincarnated but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devastated,
but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be
sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in
feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This isn't so bad"
he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen?
How are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies
Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to
explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".
"Never" replies Brian.
"Well just relax and let it happen", says the rooster.
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg
pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept
over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced
motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the
feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being
reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to
him...ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting...
"Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you're sh*tting in the bed!!"
