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Drunkered Brian

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by jossey1979, Apr 1, 2010.

  1. jossey1979

    jossey1979 Senior Member

    #1
    Apr 1, 2010
    Joined: Apr 28, 2008
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    Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk,
    as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
    asleep.

    He gave her a kiss on the cheek and fell asleep.

    When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed,wearing a long flowing white robe.

    "Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in
    my bedroom?"

    The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St
    Peter".

    Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead??? That can't be, I have so
    much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to
    send me back Straight away". St Peter replied "Yes, you can be
    reincarnated but there is a catch.

    We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devastated,
    but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be
    sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in
    feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This isn't so bad"
    he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

    The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen?
    How are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies
    Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to
    explode".
    "You're ovulating" explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".

    "Never" replies Brian.
    "Well just relax and let it happen", says the rooster.

    And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg
    pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept
    over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced
    motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the
    feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being
    reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to
    him...ever!!!

    The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
    felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
    shouting...


    "Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you're sh*tting in the bed!!"
     
  2. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 1, 2010
    Joined: Oct 14, 2008
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    Don't Drink and DRIVE!
     
  3. L

    Lubaluka JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 1, 2010
    Joined: May 18, 2009
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    Duuu hio kali, pombe si maji !!!!!
     
  4. o

    otangetisam Member

    #4
    Apr 12, 2010
    Joined: Dec 31, 2008
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    hahahaahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha
     
  5. Bujibuji

    Bujibuji JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 12, 2010
    Joined: Feb 4, 2009
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    Da,
    ndoto nyingine kweli ni noma ile mbaya
     
  6. Titus

    Titus Member

    #6
    Apr 12, 2010
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    keroro noma..lol
     
  7. Loner

    Loner JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 12, 2010
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    Huyo Brian alikua anapiga GONGO nini... Hiyo stimu inaelekea ilikua juu....
     
  8. Mbimbinho

    Mbimbinho JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 19, 2010
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    Duh! jamaaa kaharibu mbaya!!
     
  9. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 29, 2010
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    Hahahahaha hapo mbaya sanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
     
  10. Bazazi

    Bazazi JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 29, 2010
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    Pombe sio chai
     
  11. b

    bryan1983 New Member

    #11
    May 5, 2010
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    nadhan jina lake atakuwa sio brian...atakuwa na jina lingine bana
     
  12. Mama Brian

    Mama Brian JF-Expert Member

    #12
    May 5, 2010
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    Mungu aepushe mbali hilo balaa huyo siyo Brian!!!
     
  13. kamalfareed

    kamalfareed Member

    #13
    May 6, 2010
    Joined: Apr 26, 2010
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    haha, nooma!! jamaa inaonekana alikua amesizii kinoma!!!
     
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