In a trial, a lawyer called his first witness, elderly woman and grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs Peters, do u know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know u, Mr Brown. I've known u since u were a young boy, and frankly, u've been a big disappointment to ur parents and the town. U lie, u cheat on ur wife, and u manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. U think you're a big shot when u haven't the brains to realize u never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know u." The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Peters, do u know the defence lawyer?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr Kent since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with 3 different women. One of them was ur wife. Yes, I know him." The defence lawyer almost died. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and, in a very low voice, said, "If either of u ****** asks her if she knows me, I'll send u to the electric chair!