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Dictionary!!??

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Bladerunner, Dec 22, 2008.

  1. Bladerunner

    Bladerunner Member

    #1
    Dec 22, 2008
    Joined: Dec 19, 2008
    Messages: 93
    Likes Received: 2
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    CIGARETTE:
    A pinch of tobacco
    rolled in paper
    with fire at one end
    and a fool at the other!



    MARRIAGE:
    It's an agreement
    wherein
    a man loses his bachelor degree
    and a woman gains her master


    DIVORCE:
    Future Tense
    of Marriage


    LECTURE:
    An art of transmitting Information
    from the notes of the lecturer
    to the notes of students
    without passing through the minds
    of either


    CONFERENCE:
    The confusion of one man
    multiplied by the
    number present


    COMPROMISE:
    The art of dividing
    a cake in such a way that
    everybody believes
    he got the biggest piece


    TEARS:
    The hydraulic force by which
    masculine will power is
    defeated by feminine water-power!


    DICTIONARY:
    A place where divorce comes
    before marriage


    CONFERENCE ROOM:
    A place where everybody talks,
    nobody listens
    and everybody disagrees later on


    ECSTASY:
    A feeling when you feel
    you are going to feel
    a feeling
    you have never felt before


    CLASSIC:
    A book
    which people praise,
    but never read


    SMILE:
    A curve
    that can set
    a lot of things straight!


    OFFICE:
    A place
    where you can relax
    after your strenuous
    home life


    YAWN:
    The only time
    when some married men
    ever get to open
    their mouth


    ETC:
    A sign
    to make others believe
    that you know
    more than
    you actually do


    COMMITTEE:
    Individuals
    who can do
    nothing individually
    and sit to decide
    that nothing can be done
    together


    EXPERIENCE:
    The name
    men give
    to their
    Mistakes


    ATOM BOMB:
    An invention
    to bring an end
    to all
    inventions


    PHILOSOPHER:
    A fool
    who torments himself
    during life,
    to be spoken of
    when dead


    DIPLOMAT:
    A person
    who tells you
    to go to hell
    in such a way
    that you actually look forward
    to the trip


    OPPORTUNIST:
    A person
    who starts taking bath
    if he
    accidentally falls
    into a river


    OPTIMIST:
    A person
    who while falling
    from EIFFEL TOWER
    says in midway
    "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"


    PESSIMIST:
    A person
    who says that
    O is the last letter
    in ZERO,
    Instead of the first letter
    in OPPORTUNITY


    MISER:
    A person
    who lives poor
    so that
    he can die RICH!


    FATHER:
    A banker
    provided by
    nature


    CRIMINAL:
    A guy
    no different
    from the other,
    unless he gets caught


    BOSS:
    Someone
    who is early
    when you are late
    and late
    when you are early


    POLITICIAN:
    One who
    shakes your hand
    before elections
    and your Confidence
    Later


    DOCTOR:
    A person
    who kills
    your ills
    by pills,
    and kills you
     
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