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"Dhana ya Mchumba" na maisha ya kisasa

Discussion in 'Love Connect' started by WomanOfSubstance, Apr 9, 2009.

  1. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 9, 2009
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    Nijuavyo mimi wachumba ni mwanamke na mwanaume ambao wamevuka hatua ya urafiki na kuingia hatua nyingine kwa maana kutambulishana na kutangaza nia ya kuoana.Wachumba siyo mke na mume au watu wanaoishi pamoja bila ndoa.
    Siku hizi huenda dhana ya mchumba imechukua sura nyingine.
    Je watu wanaoishi pamoja bila ndoa wakaanza kuzaa watoto ni wachumba?
     
  2. Teamo

    Teamo JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    hawa watu kitaalamu tunawaitaga SENIOR BACHELORS!
     
  3. Kandambilimbili

    Kandambilimbili R I P

    #3
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    Ebu nikuulize kwanza wewe? wanaoishi pamoja bila ndoa huko nyuma kabla ya UKISASA walikuwa wanaitwaje?????
     
  4. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #4
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    WoS maisha sasa yamebadilika badala ya sie kwenda mbele ya wakati wakati umetutangulia.

    Ninadhani kuna sheria inayotambua mtu na mke/mume kama wakiishi pamoja kwa kipindi cha miezi 6 kama sikosei na wakiwa wanatambulika na majirani kama wanaishi pamoja kama mume na mke. Sasa kwa wale waliokaa hadi kuzaa sidhani kama bado wanajitambulisha au kujitambua kama wachumba bali ni mwanandoa. (Sina uhakika na hicho kipindi ni miezi sita au mitatu sikumbuki vema)
     
  5. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #5
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    Kwani zamani walikuwapo wanaoishi pamoja kabla ya ndoa?.... wataanzia wapi wakati zamani msichana akishakua tu huozwa kwa ndoa rasmi sasa kuishi pamoja kutaanzia wapi
     
  6. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #6
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    Nijuavyo mie, senior bachelors ni makapera waliokubuhu na siyo watu wanaoishi pamoja bila ndoa na wala siyo wachumba!
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2009
  7. Kandambilimbili

    Kandambilimbili R I P

    #7
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    Hapa pagumu, zamani is subjective. sijui kamusi yetu inasemanje kuhusu uchumba je inataja kuhusu kuishi au kutoishi wote????
     
  8. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    Mnajua mkiishi wawili bila kutambulishana au kufunga ndoa aamini usiamini uhusiano huu unadumu kwa muda mrefu sana.Nina jamaa zangu wameishi uhusiano huu zaidi ya miaka kumi lakini walipo amua kutambulishana na kufunga ndoa rasmi baada ya miezi kadhaa mitafaruko ikaanza ndani ya nyumba ugomvi hauishi.
    Maisha ya bila kutambulishana mazuri sana na kunakuwa na amani ndani ya nyumba na upendo unachanua kila siku kila mmoja akiwa makini na mwenzie.
     
  9. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    MJ1,
    Sheria inatambua ndoa ( presumption of marriage) pale ambapo watu wawili wameishi kwa kipindi cha miaka miwili ama zaidi na katika namna ambayo watu waliwadhania kuwa wameoana hata kama hawajafunga ndoa.
    Ninachokizungumzia hapa ni hii hali ambapo unasikia mtu akisema " huyu ni mchumba wangu" ilhali wameshazaa na watoto.Hii nimeshaishuhudia mara kadhaa na mwanzoni sikuelewa maana nilijua kuwa wachumba ni watu ambao wanangojea kuoana.
    Kama ulivyosema maisha ya sasa yanachanganya sana hadi huelewi tena which is which!
    Siku hizi mtu haoni kitu cha ajabu tena kuhamia kwa boyfriend au galfriend hata kama hakuna mpango wa kuoana.Wenzetu magharibi walianza siku nyingi "co-habitation" au hata kuishi kama "partners", ili kuona kama wanaweza kuishi pamoja endapo wataona -kitu ambacho kwa waafrika ilikuwa ni ajabu na hakikubaliki.
     
  10. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #10
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    Unadhani ni kwanini?
     
  11. Fidel80

    Fidel80 JF-Expert Member

    #11
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    Kila mtu hapo hakuwa na uhakika je ni kweli atanioa au ni kweli nitaolewa naye?
    Nafikiri hii sababu ni kubwa sana....lakini pale walipo funga ndoa kila mtu anaona sasa kama amefika na ndoto zake zimetia.
     
  12. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

    #12
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    Unachosema Fidel ni kweli.
    Mkiwa hamjafunga hizo pingu, kila mmoja anajitahidi kutokumuudhi mwenzake na kila mmoja natambua kuwa there are no strings attached.Hakuna zile hierachy ambazo zinapelekea mitafaruku au mmoja kujiona ana haki zaidi kuliko mwingine.
    Ila hii ina risks zake hasa kwa mwanamke maana uhusiano ukiisha, kila mtu atamwona kuwa huyu alikuwa anaishi na fulani vikashindikana - lazima ana kasoro.Na pia huo ni ushahidi tosha kuwa historia yake ilikuwa kadha kadha kadha
     
  13. Z

    ZeMarcopolo JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 7, 2009
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    teh teh teh imekaa vizuri hii...
     
  14. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #14
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    Huu mtindo wachumba kukaa pamoja haufai na kinyume cha maadili. Itakuwa bora kama hamjafunga ndoa ya kidini au ya serikali, lkn ndoa ya kimila mmefunga hapo hata kama mkiishi pamoja inakubalika kimaadili maana watu wengi zamani walifunga ndoa za kimila na wanaendelea kuishi pamoja na kuzaa, hiyo inatambulika. Sio eti Bf na Gf mmeamua kukaa pamoja na wazazi hawajui posa wala mahari, hii itakuwa kinyume na maadili.
     
  15. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Mchumba maana yake fiance/fiancee ambao ni watu wawili wame kubaliana kuoana. Kipindi kizima cha uchumba kinaitwa engagement. Sasa basi uchumba una weza kuvunjwa saa yoyote kama wachumba wanaona wame wahisha au kukosea maamuzi ya kuoana. This is more common these days because kila mtu ana jitafutie mchumba siyo kama zamani mtu aki taka kuoa anaenda kwa wazazi kisha wazazi ndiyo wana tafuta mwanamke wakumuozesha kwa kijana yao. Tofauti ya siku hizi na kale ni kwambe zamani mkiwa wachumba ina maana watu wana jianda na ndoa ila siku hizi hata uchumba siyo guarantee ya ndoa. So kwa maelezo hayo basi mtu kuishi pamoja haimaanishi ni wachumba unless mnaa kaa waote na mmepanga kuoana.
     
  16. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Tatizo ni tafsiri la hilo neno maadili na mila. Kilicho maadili na mila kwenu unaweza kukuta kwa mwingine sicho. kuna makabila mengine ulikua mtu unaweza kumuiba binti usiku ukampeleka kwako akikaa zaidi ya wiki bila kurudi kwao basi huyo mkeo.
     
  17. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Kuto kuoana ni risk kwa wote wawili mwanamke na mwanaume. Kama hamna ndoa ya aina yoyote inayo tambulika kiserikali ina maana hata ukimkuta mpenzi wako na mtu mwingine huna pa kwenda kushitaki na huna haki ya kudai umeibiwa chako. Ndoa ina fanya tu kuwa kuachana ina kuwa ngumu zaidi na inapo bidi unaweza kusema kuwa mke/muwe wangu kani nyima haki fulani.
     
  18. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Hiyo mila hata kule kwetu ilikuwepo, lkn baada ya kumuiba huo usiku na kukaa kama siku mbili hivi, upande wa mume unaenda kutoa taarifa kwamba binti yenu tunae. Baada ya hizo taarifa wanatoa posa na mahari na wanaishi kama mume na mke. hii ndio inaitwa ndoa ya kimila.
     
  19. MwanaFalsafa1

    MwanaFalsafa1 JF-Expert Member

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    Ina wezekana na Dar ndiyo wanavyo fanya haha. Mi naona watu wakiamua kuishi pamoja waacheni tu iwe maamuzi yao. Maana siku hizi mila hazina a strong hold on people. Nyakati hubadilika. Wakati watu walipo anza kuji chagulia wenyewe wachumba badala ya kuchaguliwa kuna watu nao walikua wana sema vijana wana vunja maadili lakini sasa ni common thing. Hata hili nalo litakuja kuwa common thing muda si mrefu. The older generation ndiyo siku zote waku sema "vijana wa siku hizi".
     
  20. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    Kuishi pamoja bila ndoa hakuna heshima, vile vile hakuna fundisho zuri mnalotoa kwa watoto wenu. Ikishindikana ndoa ya dini nafuu hata muwe na ya mila au serikali.
     
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