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Dhana ya Bikira

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by cheusimangala, Mar 10, 2010.

  1. cheusimangala

    cheusimangala JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 10, 2010
    Joined: Feb 27, 2010
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    Tujadili Dhana Ya Ubikira

    Wenzetu Swaziland wanawapima wasichana wao kutambua kama ni bikra au la! Msichana akikutwa bikra anapewa cheti ambacho ndiyo kinamhalalisha kuolewa, msichana asiyekuwa na cheti haolewi ngó! Hivi mpango huu ukianzishwa bongo jamani hii michango ya harusi isiyoisha kila kukicha si itakuwa ndiyo baibai !



    Baada ya kusoma hapo juu hebu soma habari hii niliyoikuta katika blog ya bwana MJengwa Maggid kisha tujadili kwa pajoma .

    .............................................................
    Siku sio nyingi nilibahatika kuongea na rafiki yangu mmoja ambaye ameoa nikamuhadithia kisa cha kijana mmoja aliyejikuta akilazimishwa kumuoa binti ambaye alikua na lengo la kumuonja tu na kumuacha pindi jua litakapochomoza lkn janja yake hiyo `ilibaunsi` kwani baba wa binti akiongozana na wazee wengine wa kichaga waliobeba mapanga yaliyomeremeta kama kioo kwa makali huku hasira kali zikionekana machoni mwao mithili ya kifaru aliyejeruhiwa walivamia chumba ambacho kijana huyo alikitumia ku ipopoa bkira ya binti huyo na ktk hali ya kutweta kwa hasira huku sauti yake ikionesha kutoruhusu masihara wala mzaha wa aina yeyote baba huyo wa binti alimwambia kijana,
    "nyie fijana wa mkini wapaya sana,hujaona raha hadi umemrupuni pinti yangu ukaitoa pikira yake …"
    Alisema hayo huku akionesha kwa kunyoosha panga ktk mashuka yaliyotapakaa damu kama ushahidi wa bikira hiyo ya bintiye iliyotolewa na kijana huyo aliyefika kijijini hapo akitokea dar pamoja na rafiki yake kwa lengo la kuwasalimia wazazi wa rafikie kisha mzee huyo wa kichaga akaendelea kuongea.

    "papangu inaonesha umesoea kurupuni fipinti na kufiacha lkn huyu wangu utaoa aisee papaangu maana ni wewe umemtoa pikira na usipomuoa ukaniachia hapa hakuna atakayemuoa mbila pikira,sitaki cha mahari wala nini ninachotaka ni umuoe tu uende naye huko kwako dar".

    Huku akiwa kajifunika na mashuka yaliyolowa damu kijana alijaribu kujitetea kwa kusema,
    "lkn wazee wangu mimi nimepanga nikae hapa siku mbili tu kisha nirudi dar kuwahi kazini hivyo nipeni muda niweze kujiandaa wazee wangu".

    Mjomba wa binti huyo aliyeonekana kuwa kijana miongoni mwa wanaume ktk kundi hilo lililofanya uvamizi akadakia kwa jazba.
    "chalii acha kuongea upuuuh upuusi,hamna cha kujiandaa wala nini tena kwa taarifa yako tunachinja mbusi ya kiapo maana unaonekana mjanja mjanja lkn hiyo damu ya kiapo haina masihara chalii ukimkimbia tu huyu pinti au ukimuoa halafu ukawa na wanawake wengine au kumtesa utayaona makipu ya kiapo"

    Mlolongo ulikua mrefu lkn kwa kifupi ni kwamba kijana huyo aliyekua na mchumba dar aliyemvalisha pete huku ikiwa imebakia miezi michache afunge ndoa na mchumbae huyo alijikuta akiwa hana jinsi bali kumuoa binti yule wa kichaga aliyefumaniwa naye kwa ndoa ya dharura iliyofanyika huko huko kijijini machame na kurudi dar akiwa na mke wake wa halali kabisa na sasa miaka imepita na wana watoto wawili.

    Baada ya kumaliza kumuhadithia rafiki yangu kisa hiki akasema;
    "dah!hata ingekua ni mimi nisingejuta kumuoa huyo binti maana asikwambie mtu bwana kuoa mwanamke bikira kuna raha zake maana mwenyewe unaanza kufungua kitu na box kikiwa cealed".

    Kauli hii aliyoitamka rafiki yangu haikua mara ya kwanza kuisikia,nimeshaisikia mara nyingi sana tena na ninajua inasehemu kubwa ktk mila zetu za "kale" ambazo kila binti alitakiwa aolewe akiwa "kitu na box bin cealed aka bikira".
    Hata hivyo pamoja na kuwa kauli hii nimeisikia mara lukuki lkn baada ya kuongea na rafiki yangu huyu nilijikuta nikiitafakari kauli yake baada ya yeye kuniaga.

    Mawzoni mwangu nilikubaliana na kauli yake kwa namna moja au nyingine kwani
    1.kama kila binti ataweza kujichunga na kuolewa akiwa na bikira basi hata maambukizo ya magonjwa kama ukimwi yasingekuwa makubwa kama ilivyo leo.

    2.mimba za mashuleni zilizopelekea kina mama wengi kukatiza masomo yao huku waliowatwika mimba hizo wakisonga mbele huku kila dakika wakisema"wanawake bwana akili zao ndogo sana"zisingekuwepo.
    3.dhambi ya zinaa iliyo machukizo mbele za mungu ingepungua.
    4.n.k.

    Nikiendelea kuwaza nilitamani siku moja mungu akinijalia kuwa na binti na yeye aolewe akiwa kitu na box kwani mwanamke mwenye bikira huonekana eti ana "thamani"kuliko asiyekua nayo sbb bikira yake ni "uthibitisho" tosha kuwa ni mwanamke aliyejitunza na mwenye kulelewa vyema asiye mapepe.

    Nikiendelea kuwaza nilitamani binti yangu aje kuolewa akiwa na bikira kwa sbb tofauti na zile nilizozoea kuzisikia,mie nilijiambia mawazoni;

    "kama binti yangu ataolewa akiwa na bikira ina maana atakua amesoma vizuri bila kuyumbishwa na wanaume wanaolaghai watoto wa kike wakiwa mashuleni na hivyo atakua na "thamani"kwani atakua ameweza kupata elimu ambayo ndio ufunguo wa mafanikio wa maisha ya thamani na kikubwa kuwa mbali na maambukizi ya magonjwa kwani bora mimba italeta mjukuu".

    Hata hivyo niliendelea kuwaza juu ya suala zima la bikira na mazingira mazima ya maisha tunayoishi leo.
    Enzi za mabibi na mababu zetu elimu pekee iliyotolewa kwa mtoto wa kike ilikua ni juu ya "kumlea mume"kwa heshima woga na unyenyekevu ikiwa na topic kama jinsi ya kumpikia mume chakula kizuri,jinsi ya kumnawisha mume mikono kabla na baada ya kula,jinsi ilivyo mwiko kumuacha mume kupeleka maji ya kuoga bafuni mwenyewe na jinsi ya kumuogesha kwa kisahani na maji yenye maua waridi na langilangi,elimu iliyomuandaa binti kuishi maisha ya kumilikiwa na mume na kumpandikizia imani kuwa ktk maisha yake hayo mwanaume ndiye bora na mwenye uwezo wa kufanya yote makubwa na yenye manufaaa hivyo aheshimiwe na kuogopwa kwani akikupa talaka "hutaweza" kuyafanya aliyokua akikufanyia.
    Niliendelea kuwaza zaidi kuwa labda iliwezekana enzi hizo za mabibi na mababu mabinti wengi wakaolewa wakiwa bikira sbb waliolewa wakiwa wadogo sana baada tu ya kuvunja ungo huku wengine wakiwa hawana hata manyonyo.

    Leo hii maisha yamebadili mkondo,elimu haina mke wala mume,pesa inatafutwa na mke na mume,ule umri ambao zamani binti tayari alishaozwa ni umri ambao binti leo yuko katikati ya masomo yake yenye kumjengea imani kuwa"hakuna tofauti yeyote ktk ubongo wa mwanamke na mwanamume na kwamba analoweza kufanya baba hata mama anaweza"

    Leo hii ni wanawake wachache wanataka kuolewa wakiwa hawana nyuma wala mbele na kwa maana hiyo mpaka mtu aolewe utakuta ana umri mara mbili ya ule aliotakiwa aolewe enzi ya bibi na babu na ilihali mwili wake ukitoa changamoto za kufanya mambo ya wakubwa na hivyo kushindwa kuvumilia na kujikuta akipoteza "kitu na box yake" kwa boy friend.
    Hata hivyo bado sielewi ni kwa nini mwanamke asiye na bikira apungue "thamani" na nilipoamua kuwaza kama mwanaume nilijiambia kuwa;

    "ningekua mwanaume ningemdhamini mwanamke iwapo.."
    1.ana mapenzi ya dhati kwangu
    2.ana upendo na heshima kwake na kwa watu wengine wa aina zote.
    3.mcha mungu.
    4.mchapa kazi,mwenye uchu wa maendeleo na mwenye akili za kuzaliwa ktk kupambanua mambo.
    5.mrembo kulingana na macho yangu.
    Sbb kama nitathamini tu wale wenye bikira na kuwaona eti ndio waliojitunza,je wale wanawake ambao;

    *aliolewa akiwa na bikira yake lkn mumewe akafariki baada ya wiki moja lkn bikira ilishatolewa na marehemu mumewe.?
    *walibakwa na bikira zao kutolewa bila hiyari yao.?
    *hana bikira ana sifa kama nilizotaja hapo juu?
    *anayo bikira ni kitu na box lkn mvivu,hana akili za kuzaliwa,hana muamko wa maendeleo na havutii machoni mwangu?
    Nilishawahi kusikia eti kuna makabila walikua wanawashona watoto wao ktk sehemu za siri ili tu wasijekupoteza bikira zao na kuiletea familia aibu,jambo ambalo ni unyama na lenye madhara makubwa.

    Wapo eti mabinti ambao kwa kuogopa kupoteza bikira zao waliamua kufanya mapenzi kinyume ya maumbile huku sehemu za mbele zikiwa zimehifadhiwa kwa ajili ya atakayeoa tu ili siku ya harusi "ndoa ijibu".

    Wapo ambao nasikia walinunua dawa zinazoweza kurudisha bikira na siku walipoolewa wakakutwa ni kitu na box wakati mji mzima unajua kua huyo binti alikua hatari kwa waume za watu lkn mume alimthamini kuliko hata yule aliyepoteza ubikira wake kwa mwanaume mmjoa tu.

    Kitu kingine ambacho sielewi kuhusu hili suala la bikira,ni kwanini wanaume wao ni sawa kupoteza "ubikira wao" na thamani yao isipungue,tena ndio "inapanda"kadiri wanavyozidi kuipoteza maana utasikia wakiambiana"aah sema mzee watotoz naona umetoka kubangua" na wala hataitwa changudoa wala baba huruma wala maharage ya mbeya au fagio la city na wala hatakosa mke tena unaweza kumsikia akisema mwanamke atakayemuoa sharti awe bikira lkn sisi ukiwa"mamaa wa mababaz"utaitwa malaya,changudoa,jamvi la wageni mama teresa mama huruma na hakuna atakayetaka kukuoa.
    Kwanini kama wanaume wanapenda kuoa wanawake wenye bikira na wao wasiutunze ubikira wao ili waje waoe wakiwa bikira na mke awe bikira,lkn la!wao ndio wa kwanza kwenda kuwarubuni wadogo zetu wa kike mashuleni na hata kuwarubuni wanawake wenye kujiheshimu na wenye misimamo kwa lugha tamu tamu na hata kwa uchumba hewa ilimradi tu wawaonje,tena wengine hujifanya hadi walokole wanapomuwinda binti wa kilokole.

    Lingine ambalo sielewi,utakuta eti mwanaume anajisifia kwamba mie mke wangu nilimuoa na bikira lkn anaisaliti ndoa yake na wanawake wengine,sasa kama bikira ina thamani kuubwa kiasi hicho mbona haijatosha kuwatuliza wanaume hawa wasizisaliti ndoa zao!?

    naielewa sababu ya kidini ila kuhusu hili lkn mbali ya kidini Sielewi kama huu ni ubaguzi wa kijinsia au ukandamizaji,imani tata au mawazo potofu maana ningefurahi kujua kama wapo wanaume wenye kujiheshimu kwa kuutunza ubikira wao ili aoe akiwa yuko"kitu na box cealed aka bwanaharusi bikira" kwani wengi ninaowajua wanasema eti wananoa misumeno huko na huku ili wakioa kitu kiwe kikali waweze kumridhisha mamaa.
     
  2. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 10, 2010
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    hii Topic ngoja waje Kina Fidel ,geoff watoe mawazo yao
     
  3. cheusimangala

    cheusimangala JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 10, 2010
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    dada na ww ningependa kuisikia kauli yako juu ya hili!
     
  4. Lekanjobe Kubinika

    Lekanjobe Kubinika JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 10, 2010
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    Story ndeeeeefu! Nilipofikia robo tayari nilishasahau nilianzia kusoma nini. Hasa kinacholengwa ni nini hapa cha kujadili?
     
  5. Mbimbinho

    Mbimbinho JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 10, 2010
    Joined: Aug 1, 2009
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    Imenigusa sana hii topic(((
    Ni kweli tupu, mfumo dume wa zamani ndo umeleta haya yote, but thank God now watu wa jinsia zote wanaamka, wanaume wanatambua umuhimu wa wanawake regardless wapo sealed or not, and women wanatambua na kuthamini status waliyopo kama ni +ve or -ve))
     
  6. Maria Roza

    Maria Roza JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 10, 2010
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    Mhh mhh!
     
  7. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 10, 2010
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    wewe kwa nini usitusimulie kuhusu bikira yako,jinsi ilivyoondoshwa
    na una regrets zozote??????????
     
  8. Dreamliner

    Dreamliner JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 10, 2010
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    maria roza usiishie mmh tunakutegemea sana mchango wako wa mawazo
     
  9. Maria Roza

    Maria Roza JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 10, 2010
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    Bado nafikiria maana kuna wale waliobakwa??:confused::confused:
     
  10. Tumsifu Samwel

    Tumsifu Samwel Verified User

    #10
    Mar 10, 2010
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    Wapo wengi tu na mimi ni mmoja wapo, nimeitunza bikira yangu ikiwa ni zawadi kwa mke wangu mtarajiwa ambaye tutafunga nae ndoa mwezi wa 7,kutunza bikira kwa maisha haya sio mchezo kuna vishawishi vingi sana, mimi hapa nilipo na karibia kuchanganyikiwa kutokana na vishawishi navyo vipata toka kwa mabinti na mijimama!....

    Nimefurahi sana kufahamu kumbe Mjengwa ni Mdada!
     
  11. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 10, 2010
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    haya..naona tunarudi kule kule tena...

    hiyo habari ya kupeana cheti, imekaa upande mmoja tu wanaume nani anawapa cheti?

    ukiniuliza mimi..hayo mambo ya bikra sio muhimu...muhimu ni mtu mwema, mwenye mapenzi ya kweli, mwaminifu, mtiifu, mwenye kumjua Mungu na pia anayejijua na kujijali kama Mwanamke.

    hayo mengine 'zinabaki hadithi tu'
     
  12. cheusimangala

    cheusimangala JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 10, 2010
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    hebu anza wewe kutuelezea jinsi yako ilivyotoka labda utani-inspire na mie kukuelezea juu ya ubikira wangu!!!!.
    kama hujapenda topic ni vizuri kukaa kimya lkn sio kumvunjia mtu heshima,nawaheshimu wote humu ndani,nami ningefurahi kuheshimiwa.

    weee unaonekana umezoea kusutana mie sijazoea hivyo heshima mbele mkuu!!
     
  13. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 10, 2010
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    .....Huko swaziland wanavyofanyia wasichana kukagua bikira wala sio vizuri, mbona hawafanyi kwa wavulana?Hawajui kwamba haki sawa kwa wote? Kama wameamua kufanya kwa msichana basi wangefanya na kwa mvulana.

    Bikira kwa ulimwengu wa sasa haina maana yoyote...........zamani watu ndio walikuwa wanajali sana bikira.

    Muhimu hapa watu muelewane, mpendane na kuheshimiana.Simaanishi watu wasitunze bikira zao la hasha, kama mtu unaweza kujitunza hadi ndoa is ok.......lakini kama huwezi wala sio lazima eti uolewe/uoe bikira.

    Siku hizi nasikia kuna bikira hizi za kichina, kwa hiyo hili swala la bikira ni wizi mtupu kwa dunia ya sasa.Unaweza kukuta msichana bikira kumbe kaweka bikira made in china.
     
  14. r

    redcard Member

    #14
    Mar 10, 2010
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    mabinti msikonde, narudisha bikra kwa msichana na wavulana. yeyote aliyepoteza katika hali yoyote, wiki moja tu. wazo la vyeti poa, nalifanyia kazi kwa watakao taka - karibuni hata wenye ndoa.
     
  15. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 10, 2010
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    nothing personal...
    u missed the point....
    nahisi mimi na wewe tupo dunia mbili tofauti kimawazo....
     
  16. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

    #16
    Mar 10, 2010
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    Boss nawe.wewe je mara ya kwanza ulimjua lini mwanamke?
     
  17. cheusimangala

    cheusimangala JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 10, 2010
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    sorry my dear kama nimekuelewa ndivyo sivyo,ila niliona kama hujaniheshimu kusema nielezee jinsi nilivyopoteza ubikira wangu,ndo mana nikasema mhh huyu kaka yangu vipi tena!narudia sorry,tuko pamoja.
     
  18. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 10, 2010
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    my ver first time haikuwa nzuri,
    natamani kungekuwa na guide books..
    gesti yenyewe haikuwa safi,i was fifteen,na she was sixteen,
    kibaya zaidi kulikuwa na watu wanachungulia dirishani,
    nilikuwa so kuchanganyikiwa,
    but she still love me to death.....
     
  19. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Mar 10, 2010
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    u r welcome,
    nilichotaka watu tuwe open kidogo,
    ungeweza sema experince yako ya first time,
    na kama ukukimbuka uajisikia vizuri,thats all,
    nijuavyo mimi,wasichana wengi huwa hawataki hata kukumbushwa
    hiyo first time,wengi inakuwa ita was with the wrong person.au
    mtu mzima ali take advantages of them,umenipata.??
     
  20. cheusimangala

    cheusimangala JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 10, 2010
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    sipati picha!lol
     
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