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Dating a married man..kina dada mpo?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Ab-Titchaz, May 16, 2009.

  1. Ab-Titchaz

    Ab-Titchaz Content Manager Staff Member

    #1
    May 16, 2009
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    Dating a married man

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    By ZEIN NOOR

    Posted Friday, May 15 2009 at 17:16


    Temptation of the forbidden - Some people perceive married couples as the forbidden temptation since they are already committed and hence unavailable.

    Interestingly, there’s an excitement that stems from the fact that such people are already taken, and attracting them gives the “hunter” a sense of power and accomplishment.

    Furthermore, the challenge and the risk involved in conquering the prey makes the entire game even more exciting. It is no secret that most single women have an obsession for married men owing to the human trait of wanting what one cannot have.

    On the other hand, some hunters go for one’s confidence, experience in intimate matters and authority. And even though it’s utterly unjustifiable and shameless, some people find a sense of accomplishment in bedding someone else’s man or woman.

    This has a lot to do with the satisfaction that comes with breaking rules and doing things the wrong way without being caught. In other words, some people seek their sexual highs through cheating because of the excitement that comes with getting away with something taboo.


    The need to win — Irrespective of the fact that today’s women are liberated, many still continue to perceive the married man as having a certain type of security. Cynical as it may sound, such women tend to think that married men will cater for their emotional needs better than any single man out there.

    On the other hand, some women perceive having an affair with a married man as some sort of triumph over the wife. Although this signifies a lack of self-respect and self-worth, such women get a feeling of accomplishment and triumph over the legitimate woman.

    This perception could not be further from the truth as it is obvious that the married man (trophy) is already taken. Unfortunately, such women get a non-existent feeling that they are extra special and better than the man’s legal wife. This again clearly shows that such women are only living in a fantasy world.

    Additionally, some women go after the married man because they are dying to get what the legitimate woman has. In most cases, women do this maliciously to try and get back at the married man’s wife for reasons better known to them.


    Security reasons — Although not in the least justifiable, some women claim to go for married men saying that they have all the qualities a woman would look for in a man.

    On the other hand, many young men turn to married women for security reasons. It’s not surprising to find young men nowadays pursuing married women because they are financially stable.

    Therefore, most hunters will pursue such people so that their financial needs may be taken care of. It’s no news that many young men out there are also dating older married women because their financial needs are being catered for by these women.

    Sadly, such “gold diggers” prefer being kept by women who already have families as long as their material needs are fulfilled. The same goes for a lot of young women out there. Nowadays, many young girls have no qualms about dating married men as long as their rent is being paid and the cash is flowing.

    It’s unfortunate that these are the reasons that contribute to the ruining of many marriages. Such women also need to keep in mind that anything immoral and short of unalloyed commitment between a man and a woman hardly ever lasts.

    So next time you decide to date a married man for his money, think hard about whether it’s really worth it.


    Has marriage lost its meaning? — There’s no denying that times have changed and most of us live in a culture that largely dismisses the significance of marriage.


    This has led many young men and women to lose confidence in the idea of fidelity, believing that all people out there are incapable of being faithful.

    A former Member of Parliament was recently quoted as saying that all married men have other women on the side. Although this caused a bit of a raucus with many men denying this allegation, there are those who agreed wholeheartedly with him.
     
  2. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    What about married women!? Do they too have other men on the side!? or for that matter other women on the side!?
     
  3. Dilunga

    Dilunga JF-Expert Member

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    Na wazinzi kina baba mpo?

    Only in Kenya and African press would you see such a male chauvinistic article. It is a foregone conclusion here that the woman alone bears the moral culpability for "hunting" and dating an unfaithful married man.

    The more dastard traitor is the married man who betrays his marriage. Besides, a man doesn't always approach a potential concubine by revealing that they are married right off the bat. The woman may or may not find out.

    Zein Noor and the shoddy misogynistic DAILY NATION, shove the imbalanced crock denigrating Kenyan women.
     
  4. Ab-Titchaz

    Ab-Titchaz Content Manager Staff Member

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    BAK,

    hii sasa ni kali. I have known of some married women doing this na
    mwishowe they end being the losers.Hio ya having women on the
    side nayo...mmmmhh..usagaji..:confused:
     
  5. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

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    Lakini kinachowafanya wanawake wengi wafanye hivyo ni kutoridhishwa nyumbani na waume zao. Njemba ina nyumba ndogo basi inasahau kabisa kama ina mke nyumbani. Mwishowe mama anaamua naye kuchangamka. Tumeona hapa akina dada wanalalamika kwamba wanajiremba ili angalau kuwavutia waume zao lakini njemba hazionyeshi appreciation yoyote. Hivyo na wanaume pia tunachangia kwa kiasi fulani ya akina dada kuwa na wenziwao nje ya ndoa.

    Siku chache zilizopita tuliona hapa ukumbini matokeo ya DNA za couples 250 ambapo 150 zilionyesha kwamba njemba zile hazikuwa hata na chembe ya DNA kwa watoto ambao walidhani ni wa kwao. Usagaji nao unashamiri taratibu.

    Ndoa zina mambo na inahitaji uvumilivu wa hali ya juu, lakini pamoja na hayo, wengine hushindwa kuvumilia.
     
  6. S

    Shingo Senior Member

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    May 17, 2009
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    Believe me article hii ni entertainment tu lakini kilichomo ni uongo tu au feelings za baadhi ya watu ambao tunaweza sema wana matatizo fulani kisaikolojia.

    Dating a married man or woman is neither interresting nor thrilling. The very fact that the one you are dating is already commited to another person is enough to put off any rationally thinking individual. After all the risk associated with dating a married person make it unhealthy and unattractive to all rational men/women.

    There is no sense of accomplishment in dating a married person. The main reasons stems from the fact that a married person is already commited to someone. The very fact she/he is ready to date you proves that she/he is either unhappy in a current relationship or she/he is just another loose type. Either of the two reasons are not attractive to any serious or rational man/woman.

    Ni sawa na kuwinda swala aliyekwisha jeruhiwa na mwingine. There is no sense of accomplishment hata ukiua. Kwa mke/mme wa mtu hata ukimpata bado unahisi amekukubali tu kwa kuwa mme/mke wake hamridhishi au anamtesa au kuna kitu unacho anakitaka kwa hiyo ameamua ku trade.

    Kwenye mapenzi na hasa mambo haya ya dating ile hali ya ushindi hutokana na feeling kwamba wewe ndo first winner ndo maana people covert virgins. Mke wa mtu nini bwana, after all kila siku there is some one of your type na hawezi kumtosa huyo kwa ajili yako.

    Kwa hiyo ni uzushi tu kuamini eti dating a married person is thrilling. kwa wengi is disguisting na hatuwezi kufanya ukiwa under your free will. Labda anidanganye kuwa yeye hajachukuliwa.

    Bahati mbaya sana kuna watu wana personality issues, na wao huona ushindi kwa kwa kuokoteza walipopitia wengine au wanapopitia wengine. Na hao watu wanataka wote tuamini kuwa wao ndo dunia nzima.... No No way.

    Dating mke/mme wa mtu kwa mtu ambaye ni rational is nothing but disguisting.

    Ni sawa na kulamba icecream ambayo unajua kuna mtu ameshaitia mdomoni.
     
  7. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...99% ya hao "Vicheche-luba" wanakuwa na insecurities nyingi mno (mpaka zinakera) once wanapo olewa wao!

     
  8. M

    Msharika JF-Expert Member

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    Hapa Arusha yupo bwana mmoja anaitwa SE...., anamke mzuri sana ila ni malaya kupita kiasi. Watoto wake ni wasichana, na akiona mtu anaongea nao hata kwa hali njema utadhani nyati aliyejeruhiwa. Sasa huyu shida nini? Gest za hapa jijini A wanamjua, acha za kule Moshi na Dar.
    Sasa huyu anapepo wa ngono au ni weu gani huu. ni sahidieni, kwani anaotemeba nao wote ni wake za watu.
    Wanaume acheni ukiwembe UKIMWI upo na tiba ndio kwanza bado kabisa.
     
  9. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...ukiona thread yenye ujumbe mzito ina wachangiaji kiduuuchu, ujue ni sawa na 'pupwe lilo na msisimo kwenye kondoo wenye manyoya haba!" :D
     
  10. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

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    Umeona eeh!..Angalau umepata jibu mwenyewe.
    Nisaidie hili: Vipi kama married man and woman are dating?! Imekaaje hii? Tutasema wamekutana na matatizo yao wanaliwazana au kupunguza tension za ndoa zao?
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ... BJ nawewe,...umeniuliza as if na ka -experience ka jambo hilo. Anyway, kwa 'nilivyosikia', ni kama ulivyosema...'wanaliwazana katika kupunguza tensions za ndoa zao'. Labda wahusika wakija kututanabahisha zaidi :)
     
  12. Scientist

    Scientist JF-Expert Member

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    Absolutely... Ni mambo ya kuliwazana..
     
  13. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    mh!...............
     
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