Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

Crying

Discussion in 'JF Doctor' started by Nemo, Nov 12, 2011.

  1. Nemo

    Nemo JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 12, 2011
    Joined: Feb 22, 2011
    Messages: 561
    Likes Received: 96
    Trophy Points: 45
    Heshima zenu wakuu. My question is whether or not there is any medical reasoning that can help me understand why I emote with tears so easily? I find myself crying on a happy/sad ending of a movie or TV program, watching someone giving a speech, watching a sports event ( mind you na hapo sio hata shabiki wa timu), watching some random person being judged the idol show and/or cooking shows, etc . Needless to say this is quite embarrassing at times so I wanted to know if it can be helped?
     
  2. MziziMkavu

    MziziMkavu JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Nov 19, 2011
    Joined: Feb 3, 2009
    Messages: 38,511
    Likes Received: 2,786
    Trophy Points: 280
    This is a toughie to answer because I think it depends very much on the wider nature of the person involved. In my own case I was a fairly emotionally sensitive child but I was raised in a "crying is for weaklings" environment. I learned to control it largely through the social embarrassment which follows public displays of tears in such an environment.

    Let me say right now that unlike many people from such backgrounds I do not think this is a particularly bad thing. To this day I find public weeping to be an embarrassment and something rather shameful in an adult. Not in myself, because I don't do it: in others. I expect you will receive some answers saying, basically, "don't fight it, it's natural, let the tears flow". That's an opinion, certainly, but not one I share and from the tone of your question I suspect its not one you share either.

    So, I think that those who are prone to tears and who wish to control them need to find the counter-emotion that works best. In my case it was social embarrassment and self-disgust (borne of peer pressure to some degree, but not entirely). I know of other people who have successfully used anger to fight back tears, but there are obvious side-risks with that one. Yet other people of my acquaintance tell me that they can make their minds go blank and use an almost meditation-like technique to simply empty their minds of thoughts until the emotional tide recedes. Try closing your eyes and taking deep, steady breaths while trying to clear your mind in this way.

    So, some sort of displacement thinking is what seems to work. Find something you can think about or make yourself feel which causes other emotions to shore up the dam.

    I can't remember where, but I've read that abstract thought is a good antidote to tears. I wish I could find the reference so as to explain the phenomenon. Try memorizing and reciting an abstract poem in your mind, or using your imagination to construct an abstract visual scene to focus on.
     
  3. m

    mlimbwende Member

    #3
    Nov 20, 2011
    Joined: Jul 15, 2011
    Messages: 63
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 15
    Crying is the best medicine. Personally crying makes me stronger.
     
  4. Nemo

    Nemo JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 20, 2011
    Joined: Feb 22, 2011
    Messages: 561
    Likes Received: 96
    Trophy Points: 45
    mlimbwende
    My dear its not that i mind that it makes me feel weak, ...........................Ila ni very embarassing especially if it happens at work! Pple become consious and super sensitive thinking Im going through a tough time na kumbe ni machozi tu yasiyo na mpangilio
     
  5. m

    mlimbwende Member

    #5
    Nov 21, 2011
    Joined: Jul 15, 2011
    Messages: 63
    Likes Received: 1
    Trophy Points: 15
    We are we are sailing in the same boat. Personally I don't take that as a weakness but a challenge. Ndivyo nilivyo nimeichukulia hiyo hali as an opportunity and a challenge as well. Unachoweza kufanya ukisikia unataka kulia jifanye umebanwa mafua toka nje, nenda chooni/bafuni lia weee, maliza jiangalie kwenye kioo cheka rudi. Hakikisha kwanza umemaliza hasira zote, ongea peke yako, let it go. Indira Gandhi was anIndian politician who served asprime minister of india alikua anapatwa sana na hali hiyo. She used to cry a lot, lakini ni watu wachache sana walikua wanajua kwamba "she is a crying lady". Watu wengi walimchukulia kama iron lady. Alikua anatumia mbinu hiyo.
    Pia unaweza ku-avoid watu wanao trigger hiyo hali. Kuna watu ambao ni sadists wakiishagundua hiyo weakness kwako wana kuchokoza makusudi. Ukiona hivyo usijibu.
     
Loading...