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Couples' words translation (in relationship before marriage )

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Viper, May 3, 2011.

  1. Viper

    Viper JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Women's English

    Yes = No

    No = Yes

    Maybe = No

    I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

    We need = I want

    It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

    Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

    We need to talk = I need to complain

    Sure go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

    You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

    Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

    This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

    I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

    I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

    Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

    How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate

    I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
    TV

    You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

    Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]


    Men's English:

    I'm hungry = I'm hungry

    I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

    I'm tired = I'm tired

    Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

    Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

    You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

    What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?

    What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

    I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

    I love you = Let's have sex now!

    Love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex

    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

    Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?


    Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex without me
     
  2. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    hahahahaha lol
    daaahh kwa ujumla wanaume wanafikiria SEX tuuuu
    Danger lol:thinking::thinking:
     
  3. Nazjaz

    Nazjaz JF-Expert Member

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    hata kibongobongo ni hivyo hivyo
     
  4. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

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    Basi mi niko tofauti na wanaume ktk hilo.
    Mimi ninavyojua ktk mahusiano, sex ni matokezeo tu wala siyo indicator ya upendo wa dhati. Anayetaka zaidi sex huyo anataka akidhi haja zake tu.
    Lakini pia, napenda enjoyement za sex (im romantic), napenda touches, napenda kisses. Tena milango iko wazi ktk hili ila nazingatia umri tu. Natania jamani....
    kwi kwi kwi kwiii
     
  5. M

    Mateka Senior Member

    #5
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    Sex ndo mwisho wa kila kitu jamani.
     
  6. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    Hahahah nilivyosoma soma katikati ya mistari
    BP na Shelley zilipanda nilidhani hupendi sex
    haahahaha lol mmhhh
     
  7. Mzalendo Mkuu

    Mzalendo Mkuu JF-Expert Member

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    Umepatia. Wote huwa tuko kinyume. Wakati wababa tunataka SEX, Wamama wanataka MSHIKO. Wanawake wengi sana hawajui kitu kimoja cha muhimu sana. Mara nyingi wakitoa SEX mara moja tu, next ANAOMBA MSHIKO! It is too early jamani. Na hapo ndipo unaona kuwa Wababa wengi wanakula KONA! Vuta subira kwanza nami nione kuwa hapa sasa naweza KULIPA!
     
  8. Viper

    Viper JF-Expert Member

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    AFRODEZI umemsoma mkuu lakini....:happy:
     
  9. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    That is so true...

    For men the first time anakuona cha kwanza kufikiria juu yako ni how SEXY you are,
    cha pili kufikirikiria ni SEX,
    cha tatu kufikiria ni how flexible you may be during SEX,
    cha nne kufikiria ni zile body parts anazopenda (i.e legs, back view, cleavarage) are they his tastes for they are important to him during SEX
    cha tano sasa ndo anajiuliza 'I wonder what her name is - let me try my shot"
     
  10. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Mkwaruzo mi naelewa Men are sometimes so funny, kufikiria kwake SEX kila saa haimaanishi kua hakupendi ... ila inamaanisha tu ni kwa jinsi gani junior anamuongoza sana katika maamuzi yake juu ya mwenza wake ...
     
  11. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

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    wewe nawe mbona hueleweki?
    umechokoza kule kwa Miss Judith (MRS MTARAJIWA)
    kisha umekimbilia huku lol....
     
  12. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    LOL....Nisharudi kule, nimekuta Gaijini maelezo alodadafua kaniridhisha nilikua na wasi wasi..... sasa wewe unatafuta nini huku? Umeona mawazo yanu yametawaliwa na nini eeeh?
     
  13. bacha

    bacha JF-Expert Member

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    huku nilikuja kukutafuta wewe bana,
    uwe unaaga mama!!!!!!!!!!
     
  14. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Pouwa... si unajua to some extent bado najifunza... next time naaga.
     
  15. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

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    na siyo kama ni kumuongoza tu, sometime hutaka kuonyesha uanaume wake tu kupitia kiungo hicho muhimu.
     
  16. m

    masssaiboi JF-Expert Member

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    Are you GAY or something???!!!!!
     
  17. PongLenis

    PongLenis JF-Expert Member

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    kwanini umemuuliza hilo swali..?
     
  18. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

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    Massaiboi i really hope unatania, that is so rude!!!
     
  19. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

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    DAH! MBONA UMEFIKA MBALI....
    Na HATA KAMA NI SUALI LAKINI SI NAMNA HIYO....
     
  20. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

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    acha nikae kimya kwanza, NITARUDI
     
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