Couples Love..... Is Physical Attraction Necessary ?

[VoiceOfReason]

i guess inategemea na wewe mwenyewe ukoje,kama mtu unajijua mzuri unaamini unavutia na unapenda kujiweka smart-utataka mtu wa aina yako.....ila kama viwango vyako ni duni kama mie utasettle for less:laugh::laugh::laugh::twitch:

Going for the second best????
No I mean lets say am good looking and very smart...., will you be suprised if I go for a not so good looking girl ? au watu wataraise eyebrows maybe am materialistic...., na kama am wealthy people will say nimelogwa.... Point being why cant people just accept maybe there is something more just just looks?

 

[VoiceOfReason]

Sisi waswahili tunasema elimu haina mwisho....! Kwenye suala la kubadilika tabia wala sihitaji mifano kutoka nje...mimi mwenyewe najiona jinsi nilivyobadilika kitabia. Wakati nikiwa na miaka 20 na sasa kuna tafauti kubwa sana ya kitabia. Kwa nini nimebadilika?...mzingira yamebadilika, aina ya interaction zimebadilika, elimu imebadilika, umri pia umebadilika, ....nk..nk!

Usisahau pia kadr unavyopata umri mabadiliko ya kimwili(kama hormones levels nk) yanaweza kuji manifest kwenye mabadiliko ya tabia. Umewahi kujiuliza kwa nini wanawake wengi wanatoka (au potentially wanaweza toka) nje ya ndoa zao ni wa umri wa miaka 35 - 40 hivi (more so kama ana mume mwenye umri wa miaka 45 na kuendelea)?

Mkuu tabia lets say upendo, uchoyo, hekima, na busara...., can you really learn it abrubtly au ni process ambayo ni kama kujifunza kutembea? Wewe tabia ulizobadilika labda ni kuacha pombe na kufukuzia kina dada.., ila kama tabia yako kuanzia mwanzo ingekuwa upo considerate usingemwacha mwenzako ndani anaumia wewe ukaenda kufukuzia sketi yes now maybe you are matured (lakini kuwa considerate does not need age)

Wanawake change of hormones is not an excuse kutoka nje ya ndoa...., kama mwanamke ana maadili and she values herself and family hatatoka nje sababu ya excuse of change of hormones.... No matter what happens bado hatajieshimu....

 

[afrodenzi]

....Lol

:coffee::coffee:

 

[afrodenzi]

No I dont mean kilema, what I mean is can your attraction for other qualities overcome the physical unattractiveness..., because even wale wa Mcdonalds labda once walikuwa okay.... and ladies and men as time goes on they loose their good qualities...,

Labda ngoja niweke wazi point yangu, maybe... really and everlasting love...., is the love beyond the looks, the inner beauty..... LOOKS ARE JUST NYONGEZA..., JUST A BONUS..... au unasemaje?

unajua unapokutana na mtu anakuvutia kwa jinsi alivyo..
huo ndo ukweli wa mambo..
na kama hujakutana na mtu na unaongea nae tu personality yake ndo itakuvutia..

kwa mimi hiyo everlasting love lazima iwe na combination ya hizo hapo juu the inner and the outer beauty..

tuongee ukweli tu ....

 

[SMU]

Mkuu tabia lets say upendo, uchoyo, hekima, na busara...., can you really learn it abrubtly au ni process ambayo ni kama kujifunza kutembea?

Shida yangu ni kuwa unajaribu kusema hiyo process infika mahali inakoma...mimi nasema hiyo process haikomi...inaendele maisha yako yote (otherwise, we wouldn't have the so called 'born agains'...if at all you believe them!). Tunaendelea kujifunza na kubadilika accordingly. Elimu haina mwisho....na asiye funzwa na ***** hufunzwa na ulimwengu! Mtu mchoyo anaweza kubadilika, mwongo anaweza kubadilika nk nk.

Labda ili tusipoteze mwelekeo wa mada, niseme hivi, kimsingi love ni emotional process ambayo haiwezi kuhusisha physical aspects peke yake au soft aspects peke yake...naturally it is always some sort of a mixture/balance of the two....tunatofautiana viwango tu katika mchanganyiko huo. Wengine wanaiweka kwenye stages tatu: Romantic feelings, then physical attraction and lastly, emotional attachment.

 

[roselyne1]

Going for the second best????
No I mean lets say am good looking and very smart...., will you be suprised if I go for a not so good looking girl ? au watu wataraise eyebrows maybe am materialistic...., na kama am wealthy people will say nimelogwa.... Point being why cant people just accept maybe there is something more just just looks?[/QUOTE


kwa kweli wengi hatu-picture how life would be after 20 years of marriage and having kids,wengi tungekuwa tunalifikiria hili nadhani looks isingepewa kipaumbele,hata hivyo sidhani kama ni vyema kuwa na mtu ambaye mnapishana saana kimuonekano!,hii inaweza kuleta clashes ndogo ndogo zinazosababishwa na insecurity!......kwa kweli ukienda kuopoa mtu ambaye sio good looking at all,na wewe ni handsome na other factors ziko constant utatuachia maswali mengi,is either hujijui km ww ni mzuri,hujiamini au kuna lingine unalolitafuta ktk huo uhusiano!lol,looks sio important saana ila pia sio jambo la kuwa neglected/avoided complete!...linaplay part yake.:coffee:

 

[VoiceOfReason]

unajua unapokutana na mtu anakuvutia kwa jinsi alivyo..
huo ndo ukweli wa mambo..
na kama hujakutana na mtu na unaongea nae tu personality yake ndo itakuvutia..

kwa mimi hiyo everlasting love lazima iwe na combination ya hizo hapo juu the inner and the outer beauty..

tuongee ukweli tu ....

Combination of the two ni perfect Love...(Oooh I Love One of Those, Remember the Marriage made in Heaven I told you about )..., Lakini btn the Two Outer Beauty does not last lakini Inner Beauty Lasts for a lifetime because that does not change...

 

[Husninyo]

Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment

Je unaweza ukafall for Kindness, Understanding, and Good Qualities without physical attraction

naweza ndio. Ukitaka ufurahi maisha ya mapenzi usiweke physical attraction kama kigezo cha kumpenda mtu.
Kwanza mimi nawaogopa wanaume wazuri wa sura na maumbile. Lol!
Wamekaa kimayai halafu wengi wana nyodo (ooh jamani, samahani kwa mahandsome boy wa jf).

 

[VoiceOfReason]

kwa kweli wengi hatu-picture how life would be after 20 years of marriage and having kids,wengi tungekuwa tunalifikiria hili nadhani looks isingepewa kipaumbele,hata hivyo sidhani kama ni vyema kuwa na mtu ambaye mnapishana saana kimuonekano!,hii inaweza kuleta clashes ndogo ndogo zinazosababishwa na insecurity!......kwa kweli ukienda kuopoa mtu ambaye sio good looking at all,na wewe ni handsome na other factors ziko constant utatuachia maswali mengi,is either hujijui km ww ni mzuri,hujiamini au kuna lingine unalolitafuta ktk huo uhusiano!lol,looks sio important saana ila pia sio jambo la kuwa neglected/avoided complete!...linaplay part yake.:coffee:

So unakubaliana na mimi when looking for a wife Uzuri usiwe kigezo..... hili liwe ni nyongeza.... Just a Bonus..., Mungu akinibariki kwamba anavyo vyote thank god..., lakini kama hajabalikiwa sura vingeni ni vya maana sana...?? au...

 

[VoiceOfReason]

naweza ndio. Ukitaka ufurahi maisha ya mapenzi usiweke physical attraction kama kigezo cha kumpenda mtu.
Kwanza mimi nawaogopa wanaume wazuri wa sura na maumbile. Lol!
Wamekaa kimayai halafu wengi wana nyodo (ooh jamani, samahani kwa mahandsome boy wa jf).

Yaani you have nailed it... hizi kelele zote nilizopiga wewe umeziweka sawa kwenye three sentences thanks.... , Tena ikija kwenye mwenza wa kufunga pingu za maisha hiki kigezo usikiangalie saanaaa, sababu uzuri uanza kuyeyuka na mazoea unamuona ni wa kawaida na sio kama zamani

 

[SMU]

naweza ndio. Ukitaka ufurahi maisha ya mapenzi usiweke physical attraction kama kigezo cha kumpenda mtu.
Kwanza mimi nawaogopa wanaume wazuri wa sura na maumbile. Lol!
Wamekaa kimayai halafu wengi wana nyodo (ooh jamani, samahani kwa mahandsome boy wa jf).

Tumekusamehe teh teh:biggrin1:!

 

[afrodenzi]

Combination of the two ni perfect Love...(Oooh I Love One of Those, Remember the Marriage made in Heaven I told you about )..., Lakini btn the Two Outer Beauty does not last lakini Inner Beauty Lasts for a lifetime because that does not change...

hahahh lol ni kweli outer beauty has its limit...
but u have to enjoy and own it b4 its gone..
and inner beauty like how u say lifetime..

u know even when ur 100 years old and show ur great great grand children pictures
they are gona say grand dad u look handsome..

they are not gona say u have got nice personality..

thats y we have to enjoy our outer beauty now coz is not gona be there forever......

 

[Husninyo]

Tumekusamehe teh teh:biggrin1:!

mmh! ahsante.

 

[VoiceOfReason]

u know even when ur 100 years old and show ur great great grand children pictures
they are gona say grand dad u look handsome..

they are not gona say u have got nice personality..

thats y we have to enjoy our outer beauty now coz is not gona be there forever......

Nakubaliana na wewe in so far as passing good genes to the children.... lakini hili naongelea from my own point of view nikiwa natafuta mke sijaangalia saanaa uzuri wa nje hiyo ni kama bonus...., akiwa mzuri Ooh thank god lakini, kama pote kuna tick hili la uzuri nitautafuta baadae..., afterall till death do us part is a long time.... na beautiful ones are not yet born

 

[Husninyo]

Tena ikija kwenye mwenza wa kufunga pingu za maisha hiki kigezo usikiangalie saanaaa, sababu uzuri uanza kuyeyuka na mazoea unamuona ni wa kawaida na sio kama zamani

kweli kabisa maana wazuri nao wanazaliwa kila siku sasa sijui utamuacha yupi umchukue yupi.

Uzuri wa nje kama tabia za ndani ni mbovu hata huo uzuri unakuwa hauonekani tena.

 

[SMU]

Nakubaliana na wewe in so far as passing good genes to the children.... lakini hili naongelea from my own point of view nikiwa natafuta mke sijaangalia saanaa uzuri wa nje hiyo ni kama bonus...., akiwa mzuri Ooh thank god lakini, kama pote kuna tick hili la uzuri nitautafuta baadae..., afterall till death do us part is a long time.... na beautiful ones are not yet born

Usije tu ukaanza 'kuona noma' kuambatana nae! (joke:wink2

Kuna namna mwili na akili yako inafanya kazi ya kuchagua ambayo huwezi kucontrol kwa namna unavyofikiri. Akili ya mwanadamu inauwezo mkubwa sana na inafanya kazi kimaajabu sana. Hivyo unavyosema 'sijaangalia saana uzuri wa nje', I can bet katika selection/sorting process akili yako imefanya uchambuzi kwa kuzingatia vigezo vingi sana ikiwa ni pamoja ni physical appearance.

Actually kuna nyakati akili yako inaweza hata ku decode correctly information ambayo imo kwenye 'invisible' energy ambayo mtarajiwa/mwenza wako ana dissipate (ndio utasikia watu wanasema listen to your heart, i have a gut feeling, intuition, instinct nk nk).

 

[afrodenzi]

Nakubaliana na wewe in so far as passing good genes to the children.... lakini hili naongelea from my own point of view nikiwa natafuta mke sijaangalia saanaa uzuri wa nje hiyo ni kama bonus...., akiwa mzuri Ooh thank god lakini, kama pote kuna tick hili la uzuri nitautafuta baadae..., afterall till death do us part is a long time.... na beautiful ones are not yet born

excuse me hapo kwenye green imeniuma sana hahahahahah lol

haya bwana mie nikiwa natafuta wangu ntaangalia vyote ...
na ntamtafuta ambae anaangalia vyote hahah lol

 

[afrodenzi]

Usije tu ukaanza 'kuona noma' kuambatana nae! (joke:wink2

Kuna namna mwili na akili yako inafanya kazi ya kuchagua ambayo huwezi kucontrol kwa namna unavyofikiri. Akili ya mwanadamu inauwezo mkubwa sana na inafanya kazi kimaajabu sana. Hivyo unavyosema 'sijaangalia saana uzuri wa nje', I can bet katika selection/sorting process akili yako imefanya uchambuzi kwa kuzingatia vigezo vingi sana ikiwa ni pamoja ni physical appearance.

hapo kwenye green :amen::amen:............
yaani hicho ndo kitu cha kwanza cha kufanya uonge na mtu..
labda mapenzi ya internet hahah lol

 

[VoiceOfReason]

Usije tu ukaanza 'kuona noma' kuambatana nae! (joke:wink2

Kuna namna mwili na akili yako inafanya kazi ya kuchagua ambayo huwezi kucontrol kwa namna unavyofikiri. Akili ya mwanadamu inauwezo mkubwa sana na inafanya kazi kimaajabu sana. Hivyo unavyosema 'sijaangalia saana uzuri wa nje', I can bet katika selection/sorting process akili yako imefanya uchambuzi kwa kuzingatia vigezo vingi sana ikiwa ni pamoja ni physical appearance.

Hapana mkuu kweli kabisa nipo radhi kusacrifice huo uzuri wa sura nikaenda kwenye inner beauty.., mfano mimi I always fall for kind and down to earth people....,

physically I think Toni Braxton, Halle Berry na Lauryn Hill (alivyokuwa young) are cute... lakini do you think kwamba hawa wakija wakataka tufunge nao ndoa takubali....? Think about it the lifestyle na maisha yatakavyokuwa huenda ikawa living hell I had rather go for a girl next door...., whose smile although not magnetic I know its genuine..

Ila for a day out with someone Sitaangalia tabia.... lakini pingu za maisha...??? I would rather go for Whoopi Gorldberge lookalike..., thinking about it wouldnt you like such a charming, funny woman as a wife..? huyu atafanya nyumba yako iwe furaha kila siku kuliko A Jennifer Lopez ambaye ananuna kila saa na wageni wakija anaona uvivu hata kuwasalimia..., lakini A perfect combination is to have A whoopi Gorldberge inside Toni Braxton..., But life aint so Kind...

 

[VoiceOfReason]

excuse me hapo kwenye green imeniuma sana hahahahahah lol

haya bwana mie nikiwa natafuta wangu ntaangalia vyote ...
na ntamtafuta ambae anaangalia vyote hahah lol

Hapana the meaning behind the Beauty aint yet born ni kwamba leo nakuona AD mzuri kwelikweli, nafall in love, kesho namuona Hus..., kumbe she is even better kesho kutwa aah kumbe na huyu yupo? before you know it nimemaliza half of JF