Couple's First Fight

Mlevi said:
mi na wangu kila siku ngumi,halafu mwanamke mwenye asha ngedere,kila jioni karibia jua linazama lazima tuonyeshe show moja ya bure
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Labda ndio kinachofanya mapenzi yenu kuwa na ladha! LOL
So kwa maneno mengine ni kweli ugomvi wenu wa kwanza mlivyo uhandle umedertermine hizo nyingine zilizofuatia!
 
The Boss
Jamani sidhani kuwa first fight ni kitu ya west; labda noticing it? Kila couple wana matofauti ambayo huleta ugomvi fulani!

Ukifikiria hata kikundi fulani; wanapitia phase hiyo na kugombana na mara nyingi wakishinda hii kitu they turn up to be a good perfoming group. Na huwezi shinda bila kujuana na pengine kila mmoja kujua place yake. Waliosoma mambo ya OD wanajua haya vizuri!

So uwe na hiyo notion ya kiwest au usiwe nayo, na hata bila kuangalia chanzo cha ugomvi; first fight husaidia yafuatayo:-
- kumjua mwenzio vizuri (kama alivyosema Lizzy pale juu)
- kujua jinsi ya kupatana in the future (mf. Kufupisha muda wa kununiana)
- kudetect if ur relation is going anywhere
 
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RussianRoulette said:
Funny.......
Back to topic: Nadhani kila fight ina sababu zake, ina mazingira yake na kwa hivo itakua na outcome zake. the fact that one agreed to end the fight even if he didn't agree with his partner, au the fact that you ended the fight with a kiss (or more) bila kutatua shida does not mean that itakua hivo kila siku.
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Jamani mkikaa pamoja kwa say 3 yrs; huwezi kupredict jinsi any misunderstanding itakavyo kuwa, taking past experience as a reference?
 
Nambe
Hongera, huo ndio mpango mzima; kujua kupatana mnapogombana!
 
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Vaislay
What about the other arguments/fight zilizofuatia? Zimefuata the same trend au they are totally different?
 
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Lizzy said:
Sikumbuki ugomvi wa kwanza maana its been a while ila nakumbuka kwamba zilikua zinaisha vizuri. Hamna kupigana, hamna kutukanana.
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...Haihusu kitu kupigana wala kutukanana kwa wapendanao. Hata mnapogombana ni vizuri mno kuwa waangalifu na kuchagua maneno ya kusema katika ugomvi wenu ili usije ukasema neno/tusi ambalo linaweza kukufanya ujute katika maisha yako yote. Ukiona kelele zinazidi basi bora kuondoka tu kwa muda hii huwa inasaidia sana maana mtu akibaki peke yake hawezi kuendelea kubwabwaja bila mpango.


Vaislay
 
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Kaunga said:
Someone once told me that:-
"couple's first fight sets tone for all future's arguments"

Je kauli hii ina ukweli? Tujikumbushe kwa kujibu maswali yafuatayo:-

Do u remember ur first fight? What was it about!

Who started it?

How long did it last?

Was there any compromise or someone just gave in?

............

What about the other fights, did they take the same trend?

How much time do they usually take?
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nakumbuka tulikuwa tunafight sana na ex wangu,mwezi ulikua haupiti bila kugombana na sababu ilikua wivu..it was sily kwa kweli cause tulikua tunanuniana hata 3 days but mmoja anajishusha,tunasolve na maisha yanaendelea..
But last fight ilikua about kitu kidogo sana you can't imagine ndo ikawa mwisho..
Sidhani kama kuna formula cause kila fight inakuja kwa style yake na inakua na uzito tofauti..lakini mnapofight ndo inakupa chance kumjua mwenzako zaidi..
 
BAK
Hiyo ya kuondoka tu; haiwezi leta shida baadaye? Huyo mpenzi wako hawezi kuona una mu ignore au kumdharau!

Na pia hiyo ndo itakuwa inatumika kila kunapotokea kutoelewana?
 
Purple
Hiyo ya kununiana kwa zaidi ya siku 3, na kutoaminiana naona ndicho kilichowafanya muone hamuwezi kuishi pamoja! Na laiti kama, (l think) ule ugomvi wa kwanza mngeutafakari kwa undani; maybe msingepoteza muda wote (miaka 3 umesema?) na kila mmoja angetafuta a better partner! Unalionaje hili?
 
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Kaunga said:
@ BAK
Hiyo ya kuondoka tu; haiwezi let's shida baadaye? Huyo mpenzi wako hawezi kuona una mu ignore au kumdharau!

Na pia hiyo ndo itakuwa inatumika kila kunapotokea kutoelewana?
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Kaunga

Hata mnapogombana mnaweza kukaa chini ili kuyazungumza matatizo yenu ili kutafuta suluhisho kama watu wazima bila kupayuka mpaka nyumba ya 50 wakasikia sauti ya mpayukaji hicho mimi ndiyo kinanikera kupita kiasi. Kama tunaweza kukaa chini kuongea bila kupayuka kwa nguvu zote basi hapo tunaweza kuongea hata kwa siku nzima, ukianza kupayukapayuka tu kama wale wa uwanja wa fisi mimi huyoooooo :):)
 
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BAK
Sasa nimekupata!
Eeh, nini maoni yako; jinsi mlivyodeal na 1st fight, ndivyo mnavyodeal na misunderstanding zilizofuatia au kila fight iko kivyake vyake (nazungumzia zaidi process)
 
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Kaunga said:
Purple
Hiyo ya kununiana kwa zaidi ya siku 3, na kutoaminiana naona ndicho kilichowafanya muone hamuwezi kuishi pamoja! Na laiti kama, (l think) ule ugomvi wa kwanza mngeutafakari kwa undani; maybe msingepoteza muda wote (miaka 3 umesema?) na kila mmoja angetafuta a better partner! Unalionaje hili?
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very true,matatizo mengi hua yanaanza toka mwanzo sema kwa sababu unakua in love,you just give yourself hopes ambazo at the end of the day unakuja kugundua they were pipe dreams na wakati huo umeshawaste your time and other resources..
 
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Kaunga said:
BAK
Sasa nimekupata!
Eeh, nini maoni yako; jinsi mlivyodeal na 1st fight, ndivyo mnavyodeal na misunderstanding zilizofuatia au kila fight iko kivyake vyake (nazungumzia zaidi process)
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Kaunga mhhhhhh! Kwaheri bana :):)
 
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BAK; where are u?
I am looking for u; l am too old for hide and seek u know that! LOL
 
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  • Thanks
Reactions: BAK
BAK said:

Hahahahahaha lol! I like your attitude...unaanza kupayuka sasa na kutaka kufunga milango yote ili nisitoke LOL! Bye :):)
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Guess what, nimekufuata hadi kwa Eiyer! LOL
 
Hivi ulishawahi kuwa na first fight before the first date? Lol! Trusting ur guts and leading ur heart (not just following it) is the way to go.
Not all fights ar the same (ya kutopigiwa simu sio sawa na cheating say.. Ama ubadhirifu), but like BAK I will encourage my partner to take a walk. Nina msemo hata kwa ndugu nikiona tunatofautiana 'let me get out of here before I say anything that I will regret for the rest of our lives'
 
King'asti
Eeh, a 1st fight before a 1st date; that scary au healthy?

So wewe kwenye fights zako, u just walk away; kuepusha shari! Mimi naona if u r thinking of nasty things, u can as well say them. Itamsaidia mwenzio kukujua mapema na anachagua kama anaweza kuishi nawe au hawezi!

Mfano neno I HATE YOU, that is what l have been feeling wakati tunagombana; why do u take I LOVE U, nikiwa happy? Zote ni feelings ambazo tunakuwa nazo ktk kipindi fulani cha mahusiano yetu.
 
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Kaunga

kuwa makini sana na uchaguzi wa maneno unayoyasema wakati una hasira.
Maneno mengine unaweza yajutia kwa maisha yako yote.

Ngoja nikupe mfano.
Mdada aligombana na kijana, akamwambia 'utaona, kizazi chako lazima kilipe kwa hili'

unajua nini kilitokea? Baada ya wiki yule kijana mtoto wake akafa.
Yule kaka akamfuata msichana akamwambia, sikujua ulimaanisha hivi.

Imepita miaka 3, yule dada anajuta sababu aliropoka na hakuna alichoenda fanya. Lakini yule kaka atamwamini kuwa hakufanya kitu?
 
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