Copy and Paste {Season I}

[Mphamvu]

Aoccdrnig to a rseearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
wrod are witren, the olny iprmoatnt
tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be
a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it
wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae
the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as
a wlohe. So wuold you pealse hit
'LIKE' if you can magane to raed tihs

 

[St. Paka Mweusi]

Wow quiet true without any doubt, I realised this when you siad ltteers are mxeid

 

[Mphamvu]

Police Asked A Thief :
Why u Stole 3
Times In The Same Store?

Thief Replied:
...I Stole One Dress
For My Wife & I Went To Change It
Twice..

Women u know..!!!

 

[Mphamvu]

єνєяу тιмє ι lσσк ιηтσ уσυя єуєѕ,
ιт ѕєємѕ αѕ ιƒ ι αм ιη α ραяα∂ιѕє,
уσυя ωσя∂ѕ янумє lιкє α ρєяƒє¢т ѕσηg,
ι ωαηт уσυ ¢lσѕє αll ∂αу αη∂ ηιgнт lσηg,
αη∂ ωнєηєνєя ι нσl∂ уσυя нαη∂,
ι ѕσмєнσω кησω уσυ'll υη∂єяѕтαη∂,
σηlу уσυ ¢αη ѕєє тняσυgн му нєαят,
ι ρяσмιѕє ωє ωιll ηєνєя вє αραят..♥

 

[Mphamvu]

A 4yr old girl walks-in while her
father is dressing in the
bedroom . She looks at his
privates and points at his ?????
and asks "Dad
what's that thing between your
legs?" Dad replies "I don't know".
She goes to kitchen and finds her
mom "Mom what is that long
thing between dad's legs?" her
mom instead of explaining things
to her she replies "I don't know"
A week later when her mom was
coming from work the lil girl
ran to her and says "Mom you
refused to tell me the name of
that
thing between dad's legs. I have
finally figured it out on my own
IT'S A TOOTHBRUSH;
The mom laughs, then ask her
"How do u know that?"
The lil girl explains "....when I
came back from pre-school this
morning I saw aunty joyce (the
maid) kneeling in front of dad,
brushing her teeth with
dad's toothbrush and sure
enough, there was TOOTHPASTE all
over her mouth
Mom Fainted...

 

[amu]

Nipo ofisini na sijapata mda kidogo hii kitu imeamsha mashetani

 

[Mphamvu]

Nipo ofisini na sijapata mda kidogo hii kitu imeamsha mashetani

+me au -ke?

 

[Mphamvu]

A girlfriend gave a challenge to her boyfriend to live a day without her. No communication at all and said if he passed it, she'll love him forever. The boyfriend agreed.He never texted nor called his girlfriend for the whole day
without knowing, his girlfriend had 24hrs left because of cancer. After a day,
he excitedly went to his girlfriends home, "i did it baby!" but tears fell as he
saw his girlfriend lying in a coffin with a note; "you did it baby, now please do it everyday. I LOVE YOU!!!

 

[Mphamvu]

Jamaa mmoja kaoa mke mshamba asiyejua mapenzi wala uume. Usiku wa kwanza wa ndoa walipotaka
kufanya mapenzi mke akamuuliza mume,"Hiki ni nini?" Mume akajibu,"Yaitwapopoo ninayo mimi tu hapa duniani."
Siku moja jamaa akasafiri kwa wiki mbili aliporudi mke akamuuliza,"Mbona jirani
yetu Omari naye anayo popoo?....wakati ulisema unayo wewe tu!"
Jamaa akajua Omari ashalala na mkewe, akamezea na kujibu,"Nilikuwa nazo
mbili nikaamua kumpa Omari moja." Mke kusikia hivyo akaja juu na kusema,"
Iwije umpe Omari kubwa,nzuri na tamu we ubaki na kipisi tu! Nenda kachukue
hiyo na umpe yako.....la sivyo nahamia kwake."

 

[Mphamvu]

If you are SINGLE and keep on saying "I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!"
remember... your mates are getting married every Saturday. Let me ask you,
are they marrying spirits? Wise up!
If you are MARRIED and keep saying "I HATE THIS MARRIAGE!" OK! Is it not
married people like you that are celebrating Gold, Silver and even Platinum jubilee?
If you keep on ranting, ''I'M LEAVING MY
MAN OR MA CHIQ,
Please, go to town and see all the fine,
cute, sexy, hot, hungry and desperate
chicks/men waiting to snatch your man/
chiq, they don't even mind sharing.
Make it work, my friend!
Stop saying "I HATE MY JOB!"
Look! 20million people are jobless and
can't even find any not to talk of
keeping it! Do you want to join them?
You keep saying "I HATE WHERE I LIVE!"
Oh please!
*tears*
Try visiting those locations that are
flooding now, people leaving in tin/zinc
shacks in winter or people living/
sleeping under the bridge at night and
you will be grateful to God that you
even have a place to stay!
Some say "I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE!"
Well, go to the hospital and see people
fighting for their lives! Go to the
mortuary and take a look then tell me
what you feel after that!
My point is, be positive and believe in
God, that's all that matters.
AS FAR AS THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS HOPE.
JUST KEEP TRYING AND TRUSTING IN GOD
, EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT MY
DEAR FRIENDS.
appreciate what you have coz theiz
someone somewhere dying to be
where you are n have what you have.

 

[Mphamvu]

Johnny on a date in a brand
new Range Rover,
riding with his girlfriend.
Johnny: I've been hiding a secret from you and I
think you will break this
relationship if I tell you.

Girl: What is it my love?.
Johnny: I'm Hiv positive.
Girl: (Hits the guy on his lap)
you scared me, I thought you
wanted to say that this big
car is not yours!

 

[Mphamvu]

Nani mshamba zaidi kati ya hawa wafuatao:
1. Aliekwenda dukani kuulizia bluetooth.
2. Aliyekula hoteli vyombo akaosha.
3. Alienunua ice cream cone akaitia kwenye mkoba akachukua zawadi kijijini.
4. Aliyemsalimia mtu aliyeko kwenye TV.
5. Aliyechukua pande la barafu na kuliangalia wapi linavuja.

 

[Mphamvu]

Leo kanisani dem mmoja kaomba;"Eh
bwana,nisaidie nipate mume jamani,
lakini vunja nguvu zote zitakazosababis
ha nipate mfupi,tengua mipango yote
ya kuniletea mume mfupi!"
Alipomaliza tu,kukaingia jamaa mmoja
mfupi saana! akakaa karibu ya huyo
dem kisha naye akaanza kuomba;"Eh
bwana asante kwa kunifanya billionea
asante sana bwana....sasa nakuomba
mke tu,naomba mwenza wa kutumia
nae hii mali yote ulionipa!"
Dem kuskia hivyo akaomba tena;"
Mmmh bwana naona umesikia ombi
langu....nisamehe kwa kujidai ati
nachagua chagua,huyu jirani hapa
atanifaa tu sana!!"