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Copy and Paste {Season I}

Discussion in 'JF Chit-Chat' started by Mphamvu, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Oct 23, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Aoccdrnig to a rseearch at
    Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
    mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a
    wrod are witren, the olny iprmoatnt
    tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
    be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be
    a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it
    wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae
    the huamn mnid deos not raed
    ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as
    a wlohe. So wuold you pealse hit
    'LIKE' if you can magane to raed tihs
     
  2. St. Paka Mweusi

    St. Paka Mweusi JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Oct 23, 2012
    Joined: Sep 3, 2010
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    Wow quiet true without any doubt, I realised this when you siad ltteers are mxeid
     
  3. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Oct 23, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Police Asked A Thief :
    Why u Stole 3
    Times In The Same Store?

    Thief Replied:
    ...I Stole One Dress
    For My Wife & I Went To Change It
    Twice..

    Women u know..!!!
     
  4. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Oct 23, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    єνєяу тιмє ι lσσк ιηтσ уσυя єуєѕ,
    ιт ѕєємѕ αѕ ιƒ ι αм ιη α ραяα∂ιѕє,
    уσυя ωσя∂ѕ янумє lιкє α ρєяƒє¢т ѕσηg,
    ι ωαηт уσυ ¢lσѕє αll ∂αу αη∂ ηιgнт lσηg,
    αη∂ ωнєηєνєя ι нσl∂ уσυя нαη∂,
    ι ѕσмєнσω кησω уσυ'll υη∂єяѕтαη∂,
    σηlу уσυ ¢αη ѕєє тняσυgн му нєαят,
    ι ρяσмιѕє ωє ωιll ηєνєя вє αραят..♥
     
  5. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    A 4yr old girl walks-in while her
    father is dressing in the
    bedroom . She looks at his
    privates and points at his ?????
    and asks "Dad
    what's that thing between your
    legs?" Dad replies "I don't know".
    She goes to kitchen and finds her
    mom "Mom what is that long
    thing between dad's legs?" her
    mom instead of explaining things
    to her she replies "I don't know"
    A week later when her mom was
    coming from work the lil girl
    ran to her and says "Mom you
    refused to tell me the name of
    that
    thing between dad's legs. I have
    finally figured it out on my own
    IT'S A TOOTHBRUSH;;)
    The mom laughs, then ask her
    "How do u know that?"
    The lil girl explains "....when I
    came back from pre-school this
    morning I saw aunty joyce (the
    maid) kneeling in front of dad,
    brushing her teeth with
    dad's toothbrush and sure
    enough, there was TOOTHPASTE all
    over her mouth
    Mom Fainted...
     
  6. amu

    amu JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Aug 8, 2012
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    Nipo ofisini na sijapata mda kidogo hii kitu imeamsha mashetani
     
  7. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    +me au -ke?
     
  8. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    A girlfriend gave a challenge to her boyfriend to live a day without her. No communication at all and said if he passed it, she'll love him forever. The boyfriend agreed.He never texted nor called his girlfriend for the whole day
    without knowing, his girlfriend had 24hrs left because of cancer. After a day,
    he excitedly went to his girlfriends home, "i did it baby!" but tears fell as he
    saw his girlfriend lying in a coffin with a note; "you did it baby, now please do it everyday. I LOVE YOU!!!
     
  9. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Jamaa mmoja kaoa mke mshamba asiyejua mapenzi wala uume. Usiku wa kwanza wa ndoa walipotaka
    kufanya mapenzi mke akamuuliza mume,"Hiki ni nini?" Mume akajibu,"Yaitwapopoo ninayo mimi tu hapa duniani."
    Siku moja jamaa akasafiri kwa wiki mbili aliporudi mke akamuuliza,"Mbona jirani
    yetu Omari naye anayo popoo?....wakati ulisema unayo wewe tu!"
    Jamaa akajua Omari ashalala na mkewe, akamezea na kujibu,"Nilikuwa nazo
    mbili nikaamua kumpa Omari moja." Mke kusikia hivyo akaja juu na kusema,"
    Iwije umpe Omari kubwa,nzuri na tamu we ubaki na kipisi tu! Nenda kachukue
    hiyo na umpe yako.....la sivyo nahamia kwake."
     
  10. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    If you are SINGLE and keep on saying "I DON'T TRUST MEN OR WOMEN!"
    remember... your mates are getting married every Saturday. Let me ask you,
    are they marrying spirits? Wise up!
    If you are MARRIED and keep saying "I HATE THIS MARRIAGE!" OK! Is it not
    married people like you that are celebrating Gold, Silver and even Platinum jubilee?
    If you keep on ranting, ''I'M LEAVING MY
    MAN OR MA CHIQ,
    Please, go to town and see all the fine,
    cute, sexy, hot, hungry and desperate
    chicks/men waiting to snatch your man/
    chiq, they don't even mind sharing.
    Make it work, my friend!
    Stop saying "I HATE MY JOB!"
    Look! 20million people are jobless and
    can't even find any not to talk of
    keeping it! Do you want to join them?
    You keep saying "I HATE WHERE I LIVE!"
    Oh please!
    *tears*
    Try visiting those locations that are
    flooding now, people leaving in tin/zinc
    shacks in winter or people living/
    sleeping under the bridge at night and
    you will be grateful to God that you
    even have a place to stay!
    Some say "I AM TIRED OF THIS LIFE!"
    Well, go to the hospital and see people
    fighting for their lives! Go to the
    mortuary and take a look then tell me
    what you feel after that!
    My point is, be positive and believe in
    God, that's all that matters.
    AS FAR AS THERE IS LIFE, THERE IS HOPE.
    JUST KEEP TRYING AND TRUSTING IN GOD
    , EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT MY
    DEAR FRIENDS.
    appreciate what you have coz theiz
    someone somewhere dying to be
    where you are n have what you have.
     
  11. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Johnny on a date in a brand
    new Range Rover,
    riding with his girlfriend.
    Johnny: I've been hiding a secret from you and I
    think you will break this
    relationship if I tell you.

    Girl: What is it my love?.
    Johnny: I'm Hiv positive.
    Girl: (Hits the guy on his lap)
    you scared me, I thought you
    wanted to say that this big
    car is not yours!
     
  12. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Nani mshamba zaidi kati ya hawa wafuatao:
    1. Aliekwenda dukani kuulizia bluetooth.
    2. Aliyekula hoteli vyombo akaosha.
    3. Alienunua ice cream cone akaitia kwenye mkoba akachukua zawadi kijijini.
    4. Aliyemsalimia mtu aliyeko kwenye TV.
    5. Aliyechukua pande la barafu na kuliangalia wapi linavuja.
     
  13. Mphamvu

    Mphamvu JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Oct 25, 2012
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Leo kanisani dem mmoja kaomba;"Eh
    bwana,nisaidie nipate mume jamani,
    lakini vunja nguvu zote zitakazosababis
    ha nipate mfupi,tengua mipango yote
    ya kuniletea mume mfupi!"
    Alipomaliza tu,kukaingia jamaa mmoja
    mfupi saana! akakaa karibu ya huyo
    dem kisha naye akaanza kuomba;"Eh
    bwana asante kwa kunifanya billionea
    asante sana bwana....sasa nakuomba
    mke tu,naomba mwenza wa kutumia
    nae hii mali yote ulionipa!"
    Dem kuskia hivyo akaomba tena;"
    Mmmh bwana naona umesikia ombi
    langu....nisamehe kwa kujidai ati
    nachagua chagua,huyu jirani hapa
    atanifaa tu sana!!"
     
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