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Chupa mpya, mvinyo ule ule...(?)

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Jun 11, 2011.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    [​IMG]

    ...kwa sisi manunda ambao tunaoamini kila mtu anastahiki nafasi nyingine ya kupenda na kupendwa, tunapaswa kukumbushana.
    - 'it's not what you know, it's what you "believe" to be true that determines your life.' -

    Hebu leo tuwe wawazi jamani kuungama (confession) hapa hulka/tabia binafsi. Tuangalie ni kwa jinsi zina athiri maisha linapokuja suala la mapenzi. Kukubali kukosolewa ndio njia ya mwanzo kujifunza wapi tunakosea na kurudia kuvunjika kwa amani majumbani mwetu.

    Sote tuna vijitabia vyetu vya asili ambavyo ama kwa upofu wa mapenzi au kwa makusudi, wenza wetu huamua kutokutilia maanani, au kupuuzia...kisha baada ya awamu ya tatu ya mapenzi kupita malalamiko huanza na "wewe siku hizi umebadilika, zamani hukuwa hivyo!"

    Kwa kuanzia (in a a nut shell,) hebu elezea tabia/hulka zako. Unapendelea nini? ...hupendelei nini.
    Nikianza mwenyewe;

    Baada ya kazi, mimi sio mtu wa kutoka toka. Am a homely person. Napendelea kutumia muda mwingi na mwenza wangu kuliko marafiki. Ubaya wa jambo hili, nime experience mikwaruzo ya hapa na pale nayo huzidi. Uchokozi mwingi nimejifunza unatokana na 'boredom.'
    Napendelea kushauriana na mwenza wangu, hata ikibidi kukosoana bila kununiana.
    Napendelea mwenza wangu anapokwazika na jambo, awe mkweli na tuliongelee na kulisawazisha hilo jambo haraka iwezekanavyo.

    Tabia mbaya;
    Kutokana na malezi niliyokulia, imetokea kwamba napenda ku win arguments. Mara nyingi jambo hili limenipelekewa kushutumiwa sitaki kujishusha, ilhali kwa tafsiri yangu nahisi kum challenge mtu ndio kunaongeza kufahamiana. Hili sijui nitajisahihisha vipi nisimkwaze Soulmate wangu? Sitaki kurudia makosa yale yale ya kumfanya ajiskie kama sponji au shock absorber!
    Tupeane ushauri.

    [​IMG]
    per·son·al·i·ty/ˌpərsəˈnalitē/Noun
    1. The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character.
    2. Qualities that make someone interesting or popular, or fact of being a person as distinct from a thing or animal

    utu
    nm hali ya kuwa na tabia zinazolingana na hadhi ya mtu; ubinadamu
    hulka nm tabia ya mtu; mwenendo wa mtu;
    tabia nm mazoea yanayotokana na kurudiarudia hali, mwenendo au matendo.
     
  2. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Napenda kuchati kitu ambacho hapendi. Muda wote vidole vinaniwasha. Lol!
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...Nice! ...

    Nimependa hiyo confession.
    Sasa je, unajiskiaje mwenzako anapokasirika/kununa/kuchukia kwa hilo unalotenda?

    Unadhani kuna mwanya wa kujirekebisha? au unatumia tabia hiyo kama kiboko cha kumchapia
    pale naye anapokuudhi? tit-for-tat!
     
  4. Rogie

    Rogie JF-Expert Member

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    sipendi kutoka mwenzangu yy apenda kutoka. so mara nyingi huwa tunalumbana hapo.
     
  5. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

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    Bado sijapata mwenza wa ukweli Mbu. Sasa hapa nita ungama nini? Labda nisome vya wenzangu. Ila nahisi mi nimbishi kweli sipendi kushindwa halafu natamani mwanaume mwenye akili za kiume. Sio mwanaume hawezi kuamua mambo na kufanya mambo kama mwanaume. Haya ndo namsubiri sijui atatokea lini.
     
  6. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Mbona unataja tabia zangu....., :)
    anyway ukipenda Chongo utaita Kengeza...., kwahiyo ukipenda kweli hakuna negatives zitakazokushinda utazoea tu na kuzipuuzia.
     
  7. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Tupa ndoano!
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Rogi,...nimeipenda hii...

    Enzi za awamu ya kwanza ya mapenzi ilikuwaje?
    Yaonyesha mmoja wenu ali sacrifice tabia zake ku accomodate tabia za mwenzake.

    Madhali mmeshaanza kulumbana, ina maana halitaishia hapo.
    Ni lazima mmoja wenu abadilike tena kuepusha malalamiko ya "siku hizi mbona umekuwa hivyo?!"
     
  9. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    Leo mimi water girl
    ntaa kuwa kwa pembe tu ...
    Bench ..
    Sante Mbu thread nzuri sana
     
  10. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

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    Voice hapo juu, unasema je Kaka? Kwamba hizo ndo tabia zako sio. Ok wakati ndo huu, hebu fuata ushauri wa Lizzy hapo. Mbu usinimaindi kaka sijaharibu thread ila naungama.
     
  11. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    mmmhhh..... :)
     
  12. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Maungamo hua yanawasogeza/rudisha watu karibu na Mungu....haya hapa yatawasogeza wale wafananao/wapendezanao!!Surely Mbu ataelewa!!
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...LD, nakuombea nawe upate 'barafu wa moyo.' Hilo la ubishi na kutokukubali kushindwa linatuponza wengi. Ni jipu hilo, kamua mpaka kiinbi kitoke.
    Lazima kwanza ujichunguze asili hiyo ya ubishi ilitokana na nini? Kwanini unadhani lazima ushinde ubishi? Je usiposhinda itakuwaje? Je? unabisha kila kitu almuradi wabisha tu, au unabisha yale unayodhani wayajua? Rejea;
    - 'it’s not what you know, it’s what you “believe” to be true that determines your life.'

    waweza nijibu hayo nilokuuliza tafadhali? Nami natafuta tiba mbadala hapa LOL!


    Nakubaliana nawe VoiceOfReason.
    Ila, si rahisi kutekelezeka kama ilivyo kuelezea. Labda tuanzie hapo kwenye kupenda ukweli, maana yake nini?
     
  14. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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    Asante alafu ninapenda kweli watu wabishi ambao hawataki kushindwa... :)
     
  15. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

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    Hahahhahhah...bwoi!!Well ili nisichukiwe kwa kuchakachua thread ya Mbu ngoja niungame angalau kitu kimoja japo nilishapanga ntakua mwangaliaji tu.Siku chache zilizopita nimeambiwa kwamba NAFIKIRIA SANA na kuchambua mambo kupitiliza kwahiyo mwenzangu inabidi awe mwangalifu kweli na anayosema!!
     
  16. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

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  17. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Duh Mbu........aksante sana kwa hii mada duh mi hata sijui nisemeje hapa kwa sababu umenigusa.
    Kama nimekuelewa vizuri unamaanisha mnapoamua kuwa wote kama wapenzi ambao mnatarajia kuwa wenzi kuna tabia mbalimbali ambazo kwa bahati mbaya hazifanani kwa kuwa sisi tu tofauti. Na katika tabia hizi kuna unayowezaipenda au ichukia kwa mwenzi wako na yeye anawezaipenda au ichukia kwa mwenzi wako (Nisahihishe kama nimekuelewa visivyo).

    Mara nyingi katika mahusiano hii huwa inatokea sana na kwa bahati mbaya wengine huwa tunapuuzia mwanzoni kwa kufikiri kuwa tukioana 'nitambadilisha', nitamkataza/zuia na atanitii kwa kuwa ni mume/mke wake..........hali ambayo husababisha migongano baadaye ya kama ulivyosema ..oh umebadilika siku hizi..........kumbe ni tabia iliyokuwepo tangu mwanzo ambayo eiither kwa sababu ya penzi changa au makusudi ulilifumbia macho!!

    Mimi napenda:
    - Masikilizano kwa ujumla- toka mwanzo wa mahusiano. Nikisema nisikilize, nielewe na kunisaidia pale unapoona siko sawa (ila utoe sababu si kunipinga tu) nami ukisema nikusikilize, nikuelewe na ku'dialogue' nawe kama kuna ulazima huo.
    - Kuelezana 'yanayojiri' kwenye 'private spheres' zetu yaani kama ni kazini kwako kuna issue tell me, we discuss and see where/ how to go about. Sio unanijia na mijimawazo nkikuuliza ....naishia kuambiwa ....we acha tu au ni mambo ya ofcn hutoelewa......nijaribu uone kama sielewi.

    Tabia Mbaya:
    - Ukinikwaza kwa kosa flani, nitakueleza mara mbili, tatu ukirudia tena nachukulia makusudi and you wont hear me telling you anything about that......mf. unachelewa kurudi bila kutoa taarifa na ukirudi huo usiku mwingi nakwambia jinsi nnavyorukwa na roho kwa wasiwasi wa usalama wako, unapuuza then unarudia tena.......hutonisikia nikilizungumzia hilo. Ni tabia mbaya kwa sababu kwani ninadraw conclusion na kuanza kufanya maamuzi taratibu na siku nikisema basi yatosha.....inakuwa yatosha.

    - Kupenda kutoa uhuru/freedom- tukiwa kwenye urafiki huwa sipendi kumbana mtu I know ana marafiki, ndugu n.k wa kukutana naye, i offer that freedom mradi taarifa itolewe, bahati mbaya even kwenye ndoa I tend to do teh same - ingawa sometimes ina maumivu yake. na
    - Ni mzembe wa kufuatilia..............nikihisi kuna dalili ya kuibiwa penzi langu huwa naingiwa na woga wa kufind out to see if it is true or not......I just swallow it na kusubiria tu 'revelation' kutoka kwa MUNGU. Matokeo yake huwa ninajikuta ninaumia over nothing.
    ............eh mbona nina tabia mbaya nyingi?? Mbu ntarudi kuendelea.
    -
     
  18. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    LOL, Japo inaonekana kana kwamba umeiandika kiutani, ukweli kuna baadhi ya nyumba kila siku wao ni kelele na majibizano tu. Almuradi kila mtu analitoa lililo rohoni, siku zinakwenda na maisha yanaendelea.

    Nadhani Couples za aina hii mara nyingi zinadumu zaidi kuliko couples ambazo wao huwasikii wakilalama lolote,
    mnakuja shtukia mshindo tu weshaachana, au mmoja wao keshajiua!...Ule msemo watu wakimya ni hatari una fit sana hapa.
    Haipendezi ku bottle-Up ('kumezea') kila kitu huku unakufa na tai yako shingoni.

    Nice one.
     
  19. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #19
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    Rogi....samahani we ni mkaka au dada? na uhusiano wenu uko kwenye stage ipi?


    Nakumbuka mie wakati wa uchumba mwenzangu alikuwa anawaentertain marafiki zangu wote ninaomkutanisha naye, na siku nyingine anawezakutoka nao na kunijuza niko na flani (we used to have a long distance relationship) ajabu baada ya 'cementing', anakuja na ngonjera za sipendi marafiki zako sababu wana a,b,c...!! definitely simwelewi kabisa......tulilumbana kwa muda mrefu unfortunately mie ni mtu nipendaye kutii pale ninapopewa sababu ya maana,,,,,,otherwise mh ninakajiukaidi flani.........(ntatengeneza mazingira ya kukuridhisha but sitafanya utakacho mpaka nipate sababu) na yeye ni -Mbu samahani-type ya Mbu hakubali kushindwa!!
     
  20. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #20
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    Kweli kabisa nadhani sometimes couples ambao wapo opposite wanafaa zaidi sababu kubishana na kutokukubaliana kunaleta a lot to talk about kuliko kuangaliana na kukubali kila kitu. Kwahiyo ukipata mtu ambae mnadebate na kutofautiano mtazamo maybe hiyo inaweza ikawa ni sababu ya kuwaunganisha.
     
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