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Changu akajua amepata Mreno, akalamba “Wallet”

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mtambuzi, Feb 10, 2012.

  1. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

    #1
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    Ilikuwa ni mwanzoni mwa miaka ya 2000, kipindi hicho nilikuwa napiga maji kwa kwenda mbele kabla Yesu hajanitokea na kunionya kwamba nisipoacha hiyo dhambi atanitandika bakora hadharani. Mkwala huo ulinishtua na kwa kuwa mimi ni muoga wa bakora nikasalimu amri na kuacha Pombe huku nikingali naitamani. Nakumbuka siku hiyo mimi na walevi wenzangu watatu tuliamua kwenda kunywa pale Maeda Bar, maeneo ya Mwenge, kipindi hicho ndio Bar hiyo ilikuwa imefunguliwa, na huyo mwenzetu aliyetushauri twende huko alitupa sifa za hapo Maeda kuwa kuna totos za kufa mtu, na alituhakikishia kuwa tunaweza kujitwalia kwa bei poa tu na kwenda kutuliza mzuka wa Bierrrr. Tulifika pale majira ya saa moja usiku, na kutafuta meza moja iliyoko kwenye kona, tulipokaa tu huyo mwenzetu ambaye alionekana kuwa mwenyeji wa kiwanja hicho akaenda nje ya ile Bar na kuja na totoz tatu zilizoshiba maeneo ya makalioni, totoz zenyewe zilikuwa zimevaa viguo ambavyo vimeacha sehemu kubwa ya miili yao ikiwa wazi.

    Zile totoz zilijumuika na sisi na jamaa kwa kupenda maujiko akatutambulisha wa wale mabinti, akianza na mimi ambapo alinitambulisha kwa jina la Gustavo ninatokea nchini Ureno, na mwenzangu mwingine alimtambulisha kwa jina la Kwaku Kunto kutokea nchini Ghana na mwenzetu wa mwisho alimtambulisha kwa jina la Dumisani Fanyana kutokea nchini Afrika ya Kusini, aliwaambia wale machangu kuwa tumekuja nchini kwa mualiko wa wizara ya madini na nishati ili kuwasaidia kuandaa mikataba ya uchimbaji wa dhahabu hapa nchini na tumefikia pale Sheraton Hotel, wale mabinti kusikia kuwa tumefikia Sheraton macho yakawatoka kama mjusi aliyebanwa na mlango, maana walijua bahati imewadondokea. Si hivyo tu, ili kukoleza ujiko aliwaambia kuwa tutakaa kwa muda wa wiki mbili au mwezi kama kazi hiyo haitakamilika, pamoja na yote aliwaambia kuwa hatujui Kiswahili bali Kiingereza lakini pia aliwaambia kuwa mimi naongea Kireno zaidi na kingereza kidogo na yeye ni mkalimani wangu. Basi baada ya ule utambulisho tukawa tunapata moja moto moja baridi huku tukisindikiza na nyama choma na ndizi mzuzu.

    Maongezi yetu yalikuwa yametawaliwa na lugha ya kiingereza cha kuombea maji na mimi nilikuwa naongea kiingereza huku nikichomekea maneno mawili matatu ya Kireno na kiitaliano ambayo mengi nilikuwa hata sijui maana yake na wakati mwingine nikitaja majina ya wachezaji wa kireno katikati ya maneno ya kiingereza na kwa kuwa pombe ndio zilikuwa zikiongea wakati huo, nilimudu kabisa kubeba ule uhalisia, huku jamaa yangu akijidai kuwatafsiria. Kuna wakati nakumbuka nilimwambia ‘Amigo, comistas abrigado tuto bene, quivichino,' na jamaa akawaambia kuwa eti nimesema nimewapenda wadada wa Kitanzania na ningefurahi kama ningepata binti wa kumuoa na kwenda naye nchini Ureno. Huyu changu mmoja ambaye alikaa jirani na mimi alianza kujipigia debe kuwa yeye yupo tayari na wala nisihofu.Kuna wakati aliwambia kuwa natafuta apartiment ili niweze kuwa na nafasi ya kujimwaga kwani Hoteli tuliyofikia yaani Sheraton sijaipenda kwa sababu vyumba vyake vina nafasi finyu na mimi huwa ninakuwa na mikutano ya mara kwa mara na waziri na maafisa mbalimbali wa wizara hiyo. Wale machangu walionekana kuamini kabisa na hapo nikawa nafanyiwa masaji huku nikinyweshwa bia. Mreno feki nilikuwa nimewekwa kati huku nikitomaswa tomaswa.

    Tuliendelea kunywa, mpaka mida ya saa sita usiku, tukaitisha bili yetu ili tuondoke, bili ilipoletwa, nikazama mfuko wa nyuma ili kutoa wallet, nikakuta patupu, nikaanza kujisachi kila mahali huku nikiwa nimetaharuki, kote nikakuta patupu. Wale wenzangu walionekana kunishangaa. Wallet yangu ilikuwa imetoweka. Mwili ukanisisimka na nywele zikanisimama na pombe zote zilinitoka maana ni mimi niliyekuwa kinara wa kuagiza pombe huku jamaa zangu wakinimwagia maujiko kuw amimi ndiye Bosi wao. Nilijkuta nikiropoka. ‘Aisee hawa machangu wamenichapa wallet yangu, hapa haondoki mtu,' wale machangu kwanza walishikwa na butwaa kusikia naongea Kiswahili fasaha kabisa. Mmoja wao akamuuliza mwenyeji wetu aliyetuleta pale, ‘we kaka si umetuambaia huyu ni Mreno na hajui Kiswahili mbona anaongea Kiswahili tena cha Kizaramo kabisa'

    ‘Hapa hakuna cha Mreno wala Mfilipino, nasema nataka wallet yangu la sivyo patachimbika hapa.'
    Nilipiga mkwala huku nikiwa nimesimama, yule jamaa aliyetuleta akawa ananikanyaga mguuni kwa kunikonyeza huku akiniambia kwa kiingereza kuwa nisiongee Kiswahili nitaharibu dili. ‘Hapa hakuna dili wala nini ninachotaka ni wallet yangu hawa mabaradhuli wezi kabisa wanataka kuniibia mimi mtoto wa Mwananyamala! Nasema leo patachimbika, leteni walett yangu haraka kabla sijageuka wa bluu' nilizidi kuchimba mkwala, lakini wale machangu walionekana kushikwa na butwaa, wasiamini masikio yao jinsi Mreno mimi ninavyochonga Kiswahili, tena fasaha kabisa …………..


    Changu mmoja aliyekaa upande wa pili wa meza akataka kunyanyuka akidai anataka kwenda toilet, nilimrukia na kumkamata pedo yake kwa dizaini ya Kipolisi wenyewe wanaita Tanganyika jeki, ‘unakwenda wapi, huondoki hapa mpaka mrudishe wallet yangu' wateja wengine waliokuwepo meza za jirani wakawa wanashangaa kuona eneo la meza yetu limekuwa uwanja wa vita. Nilimvuta yule changu na kumkalisha kwenye kiti kisha nikamuagiza mmoja wa wenzangu kwa mkwala tu kuwa aende kwenye gari akaniletee Bastola yangu iliyoko kwenye droo ya gari. Ule mkwala ulisaidia maana aliitoa ile pochi ambayo aliificha kwenye sehemu zake za siri na kunipa akidai kuwa alikuwa ananitania tu, nilijikuta nikimlamba makofi ya chap chap, na kama sio wale jamaa zangu kunishika labda ningepata kesi ya kujeruhi. Meneja wa ile Bar alipoona tafrani akaja pale kutaka kujua kumetokea nini, lakini akakuta mchezo mzima umekwisha, nikaenda kaunta na kulipa bili yangu kisha tukaingia kwenye gari na kuondoka zetu, tukiwaacha wale machangu na baadhi ya wateja wa ile Bar wakiwa na mshangao……………………………….
     
  2. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Najua kuna watu humu watajua inanihusu mimi......................Nasema mshindwe kwa jina la Yesu..........LOL
     
  3. sister

    sister JF-Expert Member

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    ahahahahah, mtambuzi umeniacha hoi, inaelekea enzi za mwalimu ulikuwa noma. sasa mlirudi tena siku nyingine hapo au ndo mkapakimbia kabisa.
     
  4. sister

    sister JF-Expert Member

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    dah mbona sijaona sehemu ambayo umeandika haikuhusu wewe kwa jinsi ulivyoandika ni kama imekuhusu wew direct dah afu nsha comment.
     
  5. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Hivi leo ukiniuliza hiyo Bar ya Maeda iko wapi, kwa kweli hata sikumbuki, maana sijawahi tena kukanyaga mahali hapo......................
     
  6. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Napotezea tu, kuna wanangu hao wakiona huu uzi najua watanishambulia tu, kwa jinsi wasivyo na adabu.............................
     
  7. D

    Domo Zege JF-Expert Member

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    Lazima utakuwa ni wewe tu.
     
  8. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Unanisingizia tu Broda, hii sio mimi kabisa............................
     
  9. doctorz

    doctorz JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 10, 2012
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    Sr. Mtambuzi AONDE stive voce muhlier mama wawili. Sasa na mimi najaribu kireno. Hiyo ni kawaida. KUISHI KWINGI, UTAONA MENGI. Moja wapo ni kama hiloooo. Play it cool.
     
  10. daughter

    daughter JF-Expert Member

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    yaani wewe mtambuzi historia ya ujana wako imejaa vimbweka vya hali ya juu,nimecheka kwa kweli
     
  11. BelindaJacob

    BelindaJacob JF-Expert Member

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    Gustavo aka Mtambuzi hii stori imenichekesha sana Amigo:)))

    Mreno akaanza kushusha kiswahili fasaha baada ya kuchomolewa wallet..ha ha
     
  12. Sabry001

    Sabry001 JF-Expert Member

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    Story zako huwa zinanikosha mzee! Utadhani nasoma novel vile..!
     
  13. sister

    sister JF-Expert Member

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    basi nkajua nimedandia treni kwa mbele.
     
  14. sister

    sister JF-Expert Member

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    siyo mbaya siku moja ukaenda kukumbushia enzi tena ikiwezekana mrudi wote na marafiki zako.
     
  15. NATA

    NATA JF-Expert Member

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    Mzee Gustavo

    Ukaharibu deal na vijicent vyako vya ngama!

    Mlimalizana vipi na akina Kwaku kunto na Dumisani Fanyana baada ya kuwabomolea deal ?
     
  16. Angel Msoffe

    Angel Msoffe JF-Expert Member

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    anzia leo nitakuita MRENO
     
  17. Mhache

    Mhache JF-Expert Member

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    Acheni hawa madada poa. Mtakuja juta baadae.
     
  18. Likwanda

    Likwanda JF-Expert Member

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    Ila hiyo Bar ipo Sinza na si Mwenge, Enhe Hadithi inatufundisha nini?
     
  19. Cantalisia

    Cantalisia JF-Expert Member

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    Hahhahahahahhaa...hii inakuhusu mwenywe wala usijitee kbs..
    Mr Gustavo;‘Amigo, comistas abrigado tuto bene, quivichino ......namaanisha simu yangu imefulia baba nifanyie mpango wa buku aisee,ili twende sawa kabla........................!

     
  20. Mtambuzi

    Mtambuzi Platinum Member

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    Ipo katikati ya Sinza na Mwenge bana.................... Hii simulizi inatufundisha tuache Uzinzi kabisa
     
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