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Can Men and Women Be Friends?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mambo Jambo, Sep 19, 2008.

  1. Mambo Jambo

    Mambo Jambo JF-Expert Member

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    Can men and women be "just friends," or is sexual attraction between the sexes always inevitable? According to Rabbi Shmuley, men and women can be friends with members of the opposite sex, as long as they follow certain rules. He talks about platonic friendship between the sexes and shares his ground rules for opposite-sex friendships outside of marriage.

    If a person isn't married, Rabbi Shmuley says it's perfectly all right to have friends who are members of the opposite sex. Society has moved away from polarizing the sexes, and today, men and women work together, go to school together and should be able to be friends, he says.

    Things are different if you are married, Rabbi Shmuley says. It is possible to have an opposite sex friendship, but you cannot compromise certain borders:

    1) You can't go out to late night dinners together. You can have lunch together in a public place, but you should not order alcoholic beverages. "The embers of attraction really can grow in situations like that, and suddenly it's not so innocent, it's not just friendship anymore," Rabbi Shmuley says.

    2) You can't take long drives or long flights with the other person, even if it's for work. "Even if you have to work with a colleague [of the opposite sex], there are still certain boundaries you need to preserve," he says.

    3) You cannot place yourself in any situation where romance can grow. "Romance grows when people are alone; romance grows when people tell secrets," Rabbi Shmuley says.

    4) You can't share secrets with a platonic male or female friend that you don't share with your spouse. "Because then you're sharing an exclusivity with a member of the opposite sex that you're not with your partner, and that can lead to a big no-no," he says.

    5) You should not be friends with ex-lovers.

    Nawakilisha.
     
  2. Mambo Jambo

    Mambo Jambo JF-Expert Member

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    Hujaeleweka mkuu..
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...can you tolerate mkeo/mumeo akiwa na rafiki kiume/kike (opposite sex?!!!)
     
  4. K

    Kituko JF-Expert Member

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    kwa nature ya binadamu ni vigumu sana kuwa marafiki kwa jinsia tofauti, yaani mwisho wa yote itakuwa ni ngono tu
     
  5. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ..kwa maana hiyo zile za; tulisoma naye, au tulifanya nae kazi, au tulikuwa majirani nk zote hazihalalishi urafiki? duh!!!

    mimi ninao wawili watatu wa namna hiyo, tena najisifu marafiki zangu wa kufa na kuzikana (japo mamsapu ana mind) :(

    ...au kwakuwa interpretation ya wanawake ni kwamba,

    mwanaume + rafiki wa kike = ngono

    mwanamke + rafiki wa kiume = mwenzangu (wa...)
     
  6. Pretty

    Pretty JF-Expert Member

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    Inawezekana kabisa kuwa na urafiki kati ya mwanaume na mwanamke bila kuwepo ngono.
     
  7. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

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    Nina rafiki wa kike tunafanya nae kazi watu wengi hawaamini kuwa sisi sio wapenzi,ni rafiki wa kawaida tunashauriana,taniana,kula pamoja na hata kuna mara 1 tulisafiri pamoja tukakosa nafasi na kupata chumba kimoja chenye vitanda 2 tukalala pamoja,kila kitu ni akili yako tuu.
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...bora useme wewe kiazi, nikisema mimi muhogo naambiwa mchungu!
     
  9. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

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    Kiazi? sijaelewa hapo
     
  10. Kibunango

    Kibunango JF-Expert Member

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    Siku moja nilikuwa bar nikakutana na dada mmoja, baada ya maongezi ya muda mfupi akanieleza kuwa ana mchumba na baadae atakwenda Night club na rafiki wake wa kiume. Nilipomuuliza zaidi kuhusu kwenda Night club na rafiki wa kiume huku akiwa na cider kibao kichwani ataeleweka vipi na mchumba wake?

    Akanijibu kuwa hana wasiwasi na rafiki yake huyo, kwani ni kakapoa... Na hata mchumba wake anajua hilo.
     
  11. S

    Son of Alaska JF-Expert Member

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    hapa kuna mawili,urafiki huu ni possible,endapo mwanamke ni stable,otherwise any proper man atabid time yake akitafuta upenyo-anaweza asimpe mwanamke hint yoyote but deep inside,he is praying for the opportunity to present itself.Again unless mwanadada anatisha and the man is not intrested hapa wataelewana as friends.na urafiki ni possible kama mwanaume for some reasons is never intrested in members of the opposite sex
     
  12. Nduka

    Nduka JF-Expert Member

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    hii kitu kwa mwanaume inakuwa ngumu haswa mwanamke akiwa mzuri, yaani huwezi kuvumilia wewe unacheka naye halafu wajingawajinga wanamega, wengine tulikwisha jaribu tulipoona majina ya mshika pembe, kibuzi madesa yanaanza tukamega faster na urafiki ukafilia mbali.bora urafiki ufe lakini uitunze hadhi yako ya kiume aaaaggghhhhrrrrrrrrr
     
  13. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

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    Hapa umesema kweli aisee! Urafiki wenye malengo au siyo:D?
     
  14. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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  15. K

    Katabazi JF-Expert Member

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    Duuh-I had a bad experience.Nilimsaidia mke wa rafiki yangu kusudi warudiane na nilikuwa nikimuita dada na yeye akiniita kaka,kumbe loooh,akafikiri ushauri ninaotoa mimi ndio nilivyo,kosa ilikuwa kutamka kuwa "I will make sure you are happy" sikujua what happened tuna baby boy!
     
  16. K

    Katabazi JF-Expert Member

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    Kiswahili bwana".... mshika pembe, kibuzi madesa" Burn naomba ufafanuzi ikiwezekana.
    KT
     
  17. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Good gracious!
    Na urafiki bado upo kati yako na mumewe? u made the wife happy ehh?
     
  18. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...kwani wewe ukoje mkuu?

    ...'ancient' tactics of shifting the blame, huh?! :)
     
  19. u

    uporoto01 JF-Expert Member

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  20. Masaki

    Masaki JF-Expert Member

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    Duh! Sasa huyo baby boy ni wa kwako kabisa, au huyo mwanamke alirudiana na mumewe halafu amembambikia huyo mtoto kisha ikawa siri yenu?
     
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