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Can men and women be friends?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Nyani Ngabu, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    What's happening JF/ MMU nation? It's been a minute huh? I hope y'all are fine and dandy.

    So, without further ado, let me get down to it. Can men and women truly be friends? No matter what side you are on you would probably think twice when you are knee-deep in some situations.

    Picture this, you are in a brand spankin' new relationship and things are getting hot and heavy. One day your better half, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, boo or whatever else you call him/her tells you that you both have been invited to her/his friend's housewarming party and without hesitation you agree to go.

    You both go and get there somewhat fashionably late. You meet, greet, and interact with your boo's friend's that have known him/her for a long time. Then you meet the one that your boo has had a horizontal history with. He/ she assures you that that was the past and it's now strictly platonic. You hear the proverbial "we are now just friends and there is nothing going on between us anymore".

    Now let's keep it 100 especially with my fellas. Could you really be at ease with your lady-woman maintaining a platonic friendship with a guy whom she's had a horizontal relationship with in the past?

    Ladies, do you sincerely think that your male friend is just a friend? If you are a half-way decent looking lady and you know you are attractive and have all the lovely lady lumps and whatnot and if you have male friends, try this one simple thing. Tell your man friend that you've decided that you and him should try dating. Just tell him that and see what happens.

    I for one, do believe that attractive single women do not have male friends. The so called "male friends" are just guys who haven't had a chance yet. What say you good MMU folks?
     
  2. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Kaka Nyani Ngabu.......... this is one of the problems faced by many couples................ na pia huwa ni ngumu sana kulitetea hili iwapo mwanamke anakuwa na ex- kisha akasema they are just friends. But sometimes mie huwa naliona kama lina double standards kiaina flani hivi: Why mwanaume anatakiwa aaminike pale anaposema yeye na ex- wake ni just friends?? tena bi mkubwa ukihoji sana hukawii kukaripiwa kuwa mbona hujiamini?? But mwanamkke akiwa na EX- wake akamwambia boo wake wa sasa kuwa he is now just a friend huwa kimbembe.

    My take: Mimi ninaamini kabisa kuna uwezekano wa wao kuwa just friends ikiwa wanamaanisha................na ikumbukwe pia uamuzi wa kuufanya urafiki huo uwe 'just friends' mara nyingi ni Mwanamke ndie anayewezauwezesha...akimthamini mwenzi wake wa sasa na kumtunzia heshma yake.
     
  3. MESTOD

    MESTOD JF-Expert Member

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    Mmmh, the way I know, "friendship ends in love, but never/so rarely love ends in friendship".
     
  4. Blessingme

    Blessingme JF-Expert Member

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    Btn men and woman there is no friendship possible, there is passion, enemity and love only!
     
  5. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Oh yeah, I wholeheartedly agree with you that there is a horrible double standard. Actually, there are so many double standards when it comes to romantic relationships between men and women. But it-is-what-is.

    Mimi nadhani ili kuepuka mifarakano kama mtu uko ndani ya uhusiano wa kimapenzi na mtu mwingine, ni bora na ni vyema ukaacha kuwa na marafiki wa jinsia ingine. Ila hapa la kuzingatia kabla hujachukua uamuzi huo ni busara kuongea na mwenzio na kujua anasimama wapi kuhusiana hilo suala. Kama halimsumbui na kama halileti mfarakano basi unaweza ukaendelea na huo urafiki. Kama linamsumbua basi itabidi ufanye maamuzi magumu ya kusuka ama kunyoa.
     
  6. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Okay, I dig where you're coming from.
     
  7. M

    Marytina JF-Expert Member

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    Hamna uhusiano wa kawaida (no digging from both side) kati ya mwanamke na mwanaume
     
  8. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    NN its nice having you back it has been a while buddy, hii kitu inakuwa ni ngumu kidogo hasa ukizingatia kwamba kuwa marafiki na jinsia nyingine will often lead to something else in many cases, hasa ukizingatia ukiwa kwenye mahusiano ya kimapenzi na mtu mwingine ni bora ukaacha tu kuwa marafiki na jinsia nyingine ila kushirikishana kabla ya kuchukua uamuzi ni jambo muafaka ili upate kujua na mwenzako atakuwa na maoni gani kuhusiana na suala hilo akikubali its well and good ila kama hatokubaliana na wewe basi hapo ndipo inabidi ufikirie mara mbili mbili.
     
  9. Susy

    Susy JF-Expert Member

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    najuta kusomea chini ya miembe!!!!!!!

    nasubiri mkalimani!!!!

    msaada tutani.
     
  10. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    What's the what my dude? Good to see you too mayn!!

    You are right on the money. I don't dig that "we're just friends" business.
     
  11. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Pole zako zikufikie huko uliko.
     
  12. EMT

    EMT JF-Expert Member

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    From a broad perspective, there have been dozens of scientific studies and surveyed numbers of people about cross-gender friendships to discover whether these relationships can actually work or not. Also there have been studies listened in on countless discussions with men and women on the issue. Well… there are both sides of the argument.

    For many people the idea of a man and a woman being friends is charming, but improbable. "It always leads to something else…" they argue, meaning that the relationship eventually becomes romantic. It is very difficult for a man and woman to have a platonic friendship…normally emotions get in the way and friendship can be ruined by one of the parties starting to get either possessive or jealous…. Will your libido silence while spending pleasant time and having fun and sharing interests and activities, attitudes and values with just a friend of the opposite SEX?...Perhaps NO.

    On the other hand, there are those who are seemingly surprised by the question and argue that of course male-female friendships are possible. These people's persuasiveness almost makes the romantic pull of such relationships seem unusual. They ignore it altogether.

    So can men and woman be friends? Few relationships issues are that plain and simple. The real answer is "it depends." What do these relationships depend upon? They depend upon how much each person in the relationship is willing to stretch and grow. These friendships, you see, require both men and women to call upon parts of themselves that are usually less accessible when relating to their typical same-sex friends. For a man, a woman who is just a friend allows him to express his more emotional side, to experience his vulnerability, to treat himself and his friend more tenderly than is permissible with male friends. What is typically missing for him in this cross-gender relationship, however, is the kind of rough camaraderie he can have with another man. For a woman, a man who is just a friend helps her express her independent, more reasoned and tougher side - the harder edge that's kept under wraps in relationships with women. The down side for her is the relative absence of emotional reciprocity and intensity she normally shares with a female friend.

    So, okay, twist our arms for a NO or YES answer to this question and the answer will be YES. But we will quickly qualify it. Men and women can enjoy friendship together, but not at the same level they do with friends of the same sex.
     
  13. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    This is a good topic i wonder why members are not giving out their views.
     
  14. Paul Kijoka

    Paul Kijoka JF-Expert Member

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    Don't cheat us bw. Ex boyfriend/girlfriend will resume love likely 100%. Also it makes hard time when you have a girlfriend you don't get it and you find another man doing it for us men you feel bad. But if happens that you have a friend of this nature for other interest you must be careful with physical proximity unless other wise you give it to him or her.
     
  15. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Hahahaa...they are probably scurred!! You know I have a reputation in some quarters as not being Mr. Congeniality. But these negroes and negresses forget that now I'm just a shadow of my former self. A kinder and gentler Nyani son of Ngabu who administers the "true substance of life" only by prescription....lol.
     
  16. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

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    I concur with you..

    Given a chance and time the word "just-friends" does not apply in very many relationships.
     
  17. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

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    Word...
     
  18. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    Khaahh
    I'm sure waweza kuwa na marafiki ambao ni wakawida
    tu wa jinsia tofauti..
    I have got plenty of them..
    nway I think will be better if you write in swahili
    So many people can understand.. not everyone knows
    english in here..

    Sorry if i offend u in any way..
     
  19. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Like Baba Enock said the word "Just Friends" does not apply in many relationship, i have seen so many single women who do not have male friends and that leads to another interesting topic about many attractive women not getting married.
     
  20. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Lol!! Kazi ya Mpishi Kupika na Kupakua
     
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