BRILLANT, BRILLANT, BRILLANT A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for £ 500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment ' RENT FOR APARTMENT .' On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for £ 250 and enclose the following typed note: 'Dear Madam: Enclosed find a cheque for £ 250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that: 1 - it had never been occupied; 2 - there was plenty of heat; and 3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home. However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large.' Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for £ 250 with the following note: 'Dear Sir: First, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management. Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present Landlady.