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Breathing time between relationships

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Kimbweka, May 5, 2011.

  1. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #1
    May 5, 2011
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    Whether it was a light-hearted liaison, a passionate affair or a meaningful relationship that didn't make it to the "happily ever after" altar, the fact is we're human beings and there is always emotional residue after you end an emotional chapter in your life.

    Some take it negatively and berate themselves, curse others, and blame circumstances while others reflect, distract themselves with meditation, a busy social calendar, or immerse themselves in work. Eventually the head says, 'Move on', but the heart lingers on as a volcano of suppressed emotions and memories keep rising to the surface. For most people 'moving on' is about finding a new relationship, when in actuality, moving on is more about 'letting go' of the past.

    It is often said that you cannot pour anything into a cup that's full. The same way, if you walk into your new relationship with emotional baggage there's no space for the new person to hang their coat. You simply have to spring clean your emotional closets first. There's no point getting into a new relationship when you're still sore about the old one. You end up walking around with a lot of negativity, will eventually vent it on your new relationship, create unhealthy conflicts and issues and end up feeling even more miserable about it. Allow yourself appropriate time to just heal, depending on how long you were in the relationship, how far the relationship had gotten and how deeply hurt you were by the split. There is no need for your new partner to suffer the mistakes of the old relationship or the fact that you may still be carrying a torch for your ex.
     
  2. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

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    Time is a healer...!!
     
  3. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

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    Up to when my dear?
     
  4. W

    Wakuchakachua JF-Expert Member

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    May 5, 2011
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    Its real real good piece of advice coz a lot of folks enter in relation simply they break with his/ her partner and want to show that there are some need me too...or am stil gold digger blahblah... but he/she is not in love with the current partner
    OR sometime looking the place to heal their pains only when its comes to the sence of love/ineed of attention the person behave extreamly dreadful
    Huwa inaumiza sana san i can advice kama umeaamua kumuacha mtu au kaamua yeye kukuacha jipe muda wa kufanya maauzi sahihi na kuhaikisha kuwa unaishi na mtu ambaye unampenda na sio tu kwa sababu una lonely fear
    its real work inasaidia sana
     
  5. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    up to when someone has let go of the baggage carried from the past relationship.....as you just wrote....

    "It is often said that you cannot pour anything into a cup that's full. The same way, if you walk into your new relationship with emotional baggage there's no space for the new person to hang their coat. You simply have to spring clean your emotional closets first. There's no point getting into a new relationship when you're still sore about the old one. You end up walking around with a lot of negativity, will eventually vent it on your new relationship, create unhealthy conflicts and issues and end up feeling even more miserable about it. Allow yourself appropriate time to just heal, depending on how long you were in the relationship, how far the relationship had gotten and how deeply hurt you were by the split. There is no need for your new partner to suffer the mistakes of the old relationship or the fact that you may still be carrying a torch for your ex."
     
  6. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #6
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    Kwanza mtu yeyote anaeunganisha relationship from one to another bila kutulia kidogo ana low self esteem and can not feel good about her/himself bila kua na mtu wa karibu... Watu wa namna hii emotional breakdowns ikitokea wanakua psychologically frustrated with anything...
     
  7. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

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    Its very true
     
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