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Black woman or white woman (Question & Answer)

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by TANMO, Jun 20, 2009.

  1. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Dear Gerald,
    I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none.

    As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.

    If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on.
    But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

    Disgusted White Girl, somewhere in London UK.

    Response:

    Dear Gerald:
    I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house.

    So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

    Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, and drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.

    Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile(quite) woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair underwood, Samuel Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the scrip, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, andDavid Bowie to name a few.

    I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.

    Read your history. It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breastfeeding and raising your babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail.
    Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to
    overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

    I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

    BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman. Someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous (worthy) Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and, unfortunately you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. I guess you are just S.O.L.
    No offense taken, none given.
    Signed, Black Royalty


    Im impressed by the answer...
     
  2. R

    Rodelite JF-Expert Member

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    Mkuu "Ndugu".....I'm impressed by the answer too....I was sweating by the time I finished reading the answer because it was well written

    Now...coming to me....I prefer having a Black woman...and further more...the darker the better ...there's just something with a Black woman that really turns me on.

    I have never been with a white woman....not attracted to them...
    Don't get me wrong....I don't hate them...I just prefer Black.
     
  3. Abdulhalim

    Abdulhalim JF-Expert Member

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    No i am not impressed by both of them.Wote wawili wameonesha kutokuelewa.

    Unapom-date mtu unam-date yeye kama yeye na wala sio kabila wala rangi yake. Kuna kuwepo na some preferences za hapa na pale, kama sijui elimu, familia aliyotoka, anaonekanaje kimaumbile etc lakini its is complex thing kuiweka kwa kutumia criterion moja ya rangi ni kuwa skeptical.
     
  4. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Kweli kabisa mkuu, ila binafsi nimevutiwa na jibu la huyo mkaka kwa kuwa ameeleza hali halisi kuhusu Black woman hasa ukizingatia kuwa dada yetu Mzungu aliuliza swali lake kwa Jazba na Kejeli zaidi dhidi ya Dada na mama zetu..

    Ni kweli kuwa Dada zetu weusi wana kasoro zao, ila hao wazungu hawana mamlaka ya kuwakosoa manake hata wao wenyewe wana kasoro zao tena nyingi tu. Yeye amejifanya kuuliza swali kwa madai kuwa anataka ajue ukweli, wa nini kwake kama siyo unafki na roho ya kibaguzi imemtawala?

    Akwende zake huko!
     
  5. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

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    Strongly agree. Ukiwa unampenda mtu dhahiri (ndani ya mapenzi), to a great extent kama ni mtu wa asili nyingine the issue of color is rather oblivious. Kama ni asili yako, basi linaweza kutojitokeza kabisa.
     
  6. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Sure, ila kitu kimoja lazima akielewe,, sim-date yeye eti kwa kuwa akina dada weusi hawajui mapenzi, ila kwa kuwa nimependa kuwa naye... Hivyo hatakiwi kuniuliza maswali ya kipuuzi kama alilouliza huyo Dada.
     
  7. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...mmnnh, ha ha,...jamani jamani hebu subirini... Ni kweli unampenda mtu mwenyewe alivyo lakini wanaume tunatamani kwanza kabla ya kupenda (kwa uelewa wangu),...

    Tukianzia mwanamke wa kizungu, kuna ile myth ya Blond & Blue eyes...:D, halafu maungo yake ya ki 'barbie', wengine watasema 'status' ya kuonekana na Girlfirend/mke bomba (blond-wa kizungu)... hayo yote yapo nje ya uzuri/ubaya wa ndani...

    Ukishatongoza na kukubaliwa, ile satisafaction ndio inakupelekea kumpenda, na kukubaliana na matakwa yake, hata kama itabidi wewe ndio uwe na mahaba ya kumpikia na kumuoshea vyombo, ku hoover nyumba, kumfulia nk...

    Mwanamke 'mweusi' yeye anakuja na package (kidogo) tofauti na hizo...

    (itaendelea...)
     
  8. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...naam, naaam...

    Hata kama mna asili moja, tuseme wote wabantu, kuna ile kitu mtu unajiuliza (kumoyo moyo), "...hivi nikiwa naye nitaonekaje?"...

    ...katika hayo yamo; weupe/weusi wake, urefu/ufupi wake, unene/wembamba wake, sura mbaya/uzuri wake, nk au sio jamani?
     
  9. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

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    ...ukionesha kusitasita kokote kule kuhusiana na maumbile ya yule unayejisemea moyoni na hadharani kuwa unampenda, basi utakuwa haujafikia kilele cha kumpenda. Haujakata shauri.

    ...nimesema 'to a great extent' na 'inaweza kutojitokeza kabisa' kwani binadamu tunaishi kwenye jamii. Na from time to time unaweza kukutana na vikwazo, vishawishi, vituko, n.k. kukufanya ufikirie rangi ya yule umpendaye.

    ...kujiuliza kimoyomoyo uliyoitaja wewe inaonekana ni ile pale mtu ambapo bado haujaweka full commitment, haujauza uzalendo wako, haujauza uraia wako, haujawa full mass nondo kwenye penzi. Ukiwa fully, mashaka na hisiahisia hutoweka paaaap!
     
  10. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    Nikijibu swali la msingi;

    ...majority do that for 'ego' status identity.
     
  11. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Sikutaka kuchangia kwa maana naona mwanamama mtasha kawauliza wanaume maswali na si wanawake.
    Kuna kitu hata hivyo nimekiona kwenye huo wasifu wa mwanamama wa kizungu.Nimecheka sana kuhusu maungo ya kibarbie LOL.
    Nimeona mara nyingi ( huenda ni wale ninaowafahamu zaidi) wanawake waliiolewa/kuchukuliwa na kaka zetu, ni wazungu wa kawaida kabisa na wala siyo hao supermodels/perfect so called English figure kama watoto wa kiswahili wanavyosema.Wengi nimeona wakiwa wanene kupindukia - extremely obese hadi unashangaa! Yaani wamewapita hata wale mashangingi wa kikwetu kasoro hawaja jaaliwa wesede!Sasa huyu mzungu anayetukandia siye wanawake wa Kiafrika sijui alisikia wapi kuwa wanawake wa kiafrika ni ugly, shapeless na ndiyo maana kaka zetu wanawasarandia? Na kama walivyosema wachangiaji hapo juu, kupenda hakutokani na urembo tu au rangi bali ni moyo ukitaka.
    Anyway..yangu ni by the way..kakaz endeleeni kuchangia...
     
  12. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    It sounds to be True....
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...usishangae WoS, 'barbies' mbona wengi tu (mbegu toka) ulaya mashariki na scandinavia huko?, tatizo ni "mtaka cha uvunguni..." kuibua tutusa lolote tu almuradi ni heka heka za kutafuta 'makaratasi'. :D
     
  14. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Huyo mrembo ni kwamba hajalijua hilo?
    Mwambieni aache kujishau ati kaolewa n amweusi kwavile yee ni grade A material!
    Mbona pia hajasema kuwa wanawapenda kaka zetu kwa vile mambo wanayaweza? Hii ni moja ya sababu za chuki kubwa baina ya kaka wa kizungu na kaka zetu waafrika toka enzi za utumwa!Truth be told!
     
  15. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    WoS, Hicho ndo nini umeniacha mwenzio...sijui uzee huu?
     
  16. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...Ooopsss! WoS, poa moto basi... nimetolea mifano tu hayo niloyaandika. BTW, ushagundua? ; mtu anayechukia maana yake kuna vitu amezidiwa, anatamani angekuwa kama amchukiaye.

    Hiyo 'midoli' isikusumbue sana akili, wamefikia hatua ya kuweka breast implants kuongeza matiti, kujidunga sindano za mdomo kupata plump lips, implants surgeries kwenye makalio kuongeza ukubwa, na hata sun tanning almuradi tu wafanane fanane na warembo 'exotic' toka barani Africa, au Hispanics...

    shhhhh.. Siri yako; ( I prefer curvy Black beauties with meat on the bones!)
     
  17. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Subiri Fidel atakuambia ni nini ndugu yangu.
     
  18. Oxlade-Chamberlain

    Oxlade-Chamberlain JF-Expert Member

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    huwa sipendi sana sana kubagua kati ya mweupe au mweusi kwenye maswala ya mapenzi kwani kila mtu ana haki ya kuwa na mtu yoyote ambae moyo wake umeridhika nae na wanapendana.kitu kilichoniudhi hapa ni jinsi swali lilivyoulizwa na huyo "white woman" and if she is white and reading my reply at the moment all i have to say both of you are stupid if those are the characters made u two fall in love.
     
  19. TANMO

    TANMO JF-Expert Member

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    Halelluya...!
     
  20. Kaizer

    Kaizer JF-Expert Member

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    Duh! Mbona ivo.....hata PM basi..Fidel hapa naona hadi jumatatu.....
     
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