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Bingwa wa kupinga...

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Wa Nyumbani, Apr 5, 2011.

  1. Wa Nyumbani

    Wa Nyumbani JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Mar 31, 2011
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    Bibi kizee mmoja alikwenda benki moja maarufu sana hapa nchini ili kuweka fedha zake. Alipofika mapokezi aliuliza.
    "Naomba kumwona meneja mkuu wa benki hii"
    Mfanyakazi wa mapokezi akamuuliza,
    "Unataka kumuona kwa shida gani?"
    "Nataka kufungua akaunti" akajibu bibi
    "Akaunti inafunguliwa hapa hapa mapokezi, sio kwa meneja" akajibu mtu wa mapokezi.
    "Mimi nataka kufungua akaunti ofisini kwa meneja maana nina pesa nyingi sana hapa" akasisitiza yule bibi kizee
    "Hata hapa unawezxa kufungua kwa pesa hizo zote na zitakuwa kwenye usalama tu"
    "Kama hutaki kunuruhusu kufungulia kwa meneja, basi nakwenda kufungua kwenye benki nyingine" akasema bibi huku akiwa amechukia.

    Kuona hivyo, mfanyakazi wa mapokezi akaamua kumpeleka kwa meneja.
    "Kwa nini mmeshindwa kumfungulia akaunti huko mapokezi" akauliza meneja
    "Amesema lazima afungulie kwako na nilipomsisitiza afungulie mapokezi alitaka kuondoka"

    Basi meneja akaamua amfungulie yeye akaunti. Bibi akazitoa pesa, zilikuwa shilingi milioni kumi taslimu! hadi meneja akashangaa na kumuuliza,
    "Bibi inaonekana pesa hizi umezidunduliza kwa muda mrefu sana ee"
    "Hapana, nimezipata juzi juzi tu"
    "Umezipataje?"
    "Kwa kupinga na mtu"
    "Kweli? kupinga tu hadi ukapata pesa zote hizo?"
    "Yaah, nimepinga tu. Tena hata na wewe tunaweza kupinga tu"
    "Ehe, tunaweza kupinga vipi" akauliza meneja kwa udadisi.
    "Kwa mfano, tunaweza kupinga kuwa kesho saa kama hizi, pumbu zako zitakuwa za square yaani pembe nne. Kama zikiwa hivyo, wewe utanipa milioni kumi na zisipobadilika mimi nitakupa hizo zangu"
    Meneja kusikia hivyo, akakubali mara moja na wakapinga. Bibi kizee akaondoka. Meneja alibaki akiwa na wasiwasi sana, hadi alipotoka ofisini kila mara alikuwa anazishika pumbu zake kuona kama zimebadilika. Hadi siku iliyofuata asubuhi bado pumbu zake zilikuwa kama kawaida.
    Saa nne asubuhi bibi kizee alifika benkikwa meneja akiwa ameongozana na jamaa mmoja nyuma yake.
    "Ehe naona bibi umekuja" meneja akasema huku akiwa na wasiwasi. Mara moja akatoka kwenda chooni kuhakikisha kama pumbu zake ziko sawasawa. Akakuta hazijabadilika, akarudi mara moja ofisini kwake.
    "Haya bibi, pumbu zangu hazijabadilika, ehe, si unaona ziko sawasawa? nimekushinda!" akasema meneja kwa kutamba. Bibi kizee akamsogelea meneja na kumwambia kwa sauti ya chini chini.
    "Sawa baba lakini mimi nitahakikishaje?"
    "Njoo tu uzishike" akasema meneja.
    "Sawa lakini lazima uvue suruali nizishike pumbu zako nihakikishe" alisema bibi.
    Meneja akavua suruali na bibi kizee akaanza kuzichezea pumbu zake.
    Wakati akiendelea kuzichezea (zilikuwa hazijabadilika) yule mtu aliyeongozana na bibi alikuwa anajibamiza ukutani kwa nyuma. Meneja akashangaa na kumuuliza bibi.
    "Mbona huyo jamaa uliyekuja naye anajibamiza ukutani? huoni ataumia?"
    "Heh he heee! huyo KALIWA!!" alisema bibi na kuendelea, "Nilipinga naye jana kuwa leo hii saa nne nitakuwa nazichezea pumbu za meneja wa benki kubwa hapa nchini, akakataa eti siwezi. Tulipinga shilingi MILIONI ISHIRINI! hivi anakwenda kuzitoa baba!"
    Meneja akachukua milioni kumi na bibi akapata milioni ishirini! ha ha haaa ahaaaaa!!!
     
  2. MAMMAMIA

    MAMMAMIA JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Feb 26, 2008
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    Ndefu kidogo lakini nzuri.
    ha ha ha ha!
     
  3. NATA

    NATA JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: May 10, 2007
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    Makubwa haya
     
  4. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Nov 2, 2010
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    Waungwana kuna watoto humu jamvini!!!!:tape:Lakini nzuri sana!!!
     
  5. t

    torres0909 Member

    #5
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Feb 22, 2011
    Messages: 40
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    Duuuuh! Huyo bibi noma.
     
  6. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Feb 21, 2011
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    meneja faida, bibi faida. Mjinga kaliwa. Lkn katika neno pumbu mara nyengine tumia korodani. Si ndiyo lenye wepesi zaidi, au vipi?
     
  7. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Dec 24, 2010
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    kwe, kwe, kwe! Bibi balaaaa!
     
  8. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Feb 27, 2011
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    pasua kichwa:peep:
     
  9. a

    allydou JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Apr 16, 2009
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    huyo bibi ni bonge la mjasiriamali. nahisi alianza kwa huyo mzushi alieliwa kwanza, alipopata uhakika wa 20m, ndio akaenda kwa confidence sasa kwa meneja kuweka dau la 10m.
     
  10. Wa Nyumbani

    Wa Nyumbani JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Apr 5, 2011
    Joined: Mar 31, 2011
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    Ndugu yangu Mkwaruzo, nashukuru kwa kurekebisha lugha, lakini usingetaja neno lenyewe maana tayari umeshaharibu, ungesema usitaje jina la kitu alichokuwa anakichezea. Lakini poa!
     
  11. U

    Ulimakafu JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Apr 6, 2011
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    Tafsida kidogo jamani..
     
  12. m

    mgalisha Member

    #12
    Apr 6, 2011
    Joined: Oct 16, 2010
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    Daaah..., Bibi ametisha ile mbaya inaonekana ni mjasiliamali aliyebobea kwa ubunifu wa mbinu za kuingiza pesa
     
  13. T

    Tasia I JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Apr 6, 2011
    Joined: Apr 21, 2010
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    finally nimecheka. duh mjini jamani!!
     
  14. Globu

    Globu JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Apr 7, 2011
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    Bibi mjanja sana huyo. Genius.
     
  15. Anko Sam

    Anko Sam JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Jun 30, 2010
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    Inachangamsha akili, ila kutaja pumbu siyo dhambi. mbona ingekuwa imeandikwa kwa kiingereza wangetaja direct "scrotum". maswala ya kuficha ficha inaleta matatizo.

    Weka vitu hadhalani tutazoea tu. Siyo Zeruzeru aitwe Albino (english), Kipofu-asiye ona! Kiziwi-Asiyesikia, Mwizi-kibaka, Mwogo-asiyesema kweli! Malaya-anayejiuza! Sema tu wazi tutasikia ukakasi lakini tutazoea kama wazungu.
     
  16. Idimi

    Idimi JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Mar 18, 2007
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    ..Nilisoma mahali version yake ya Kiingereza, nilicheka sana
     
  17. Edward Teller

    Edward Teller JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Apr 7, 2011
    Joined: Oct 31, 2010
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    teh teh teh-bibi mjanja sana
     
  18. U

    Ulimakafu JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Apr 8, 2011
    Joined: Mar 18, 2011
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    Sawa Anko lkn mtandao wasomwa na wote mkuu...
     
  19. VUTA-NKUVUTE

    VUTA-NKUVUTE JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Apr 8, 2011
    Joined: Nov 25, 2010
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    pumbu za Meneja?! Meneja baada ya kushikwa sana akasema:bibi endeleaaaa.....!
     
  20. Mkwaruzo

    Mkwaruzo JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Apr 9, 2011
    Joined: Feb 21, 2011
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    Ni sawa ila sometime hatutakiwi kurekebisha peke yake bali kwanza tunabomoa na kujenga tena upya. Hii inasaidia kupata uimara zaidi. Lkn pia nakubaliana na ww ktk ulichoongezea kwa kile nilichokisema
     
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