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Best Man na Matron wa nini?

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by ngoshwe, Dec 11, 2009.

  1. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Dec 11, 2009
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    Hivi kazi ya "Best Man" na "Matron" katika harusi ni nini hasa?.

    Katika miaka ya hivi karibuni kameibuka ka mtindo kwa wasimamizi wa harusi ("Best Man" na "Matron") kutumika tu siku ya shughuli kama mapambo na pengine huwa ni seti mbili tofauti, kama kandambili za mguu moja. Utakuta Bwana kivyake na bibi kinyake (bestman hamfahamu bibi harusi wala matron hajui chochote kuhusu Bwana harusi).

    Katika harusi nyingine utakuta maharusi wanahangaika kutafuta watu wa "kumechi" nao kwa maumbo, mwonekano na vipimo na pengine hata kwenda kumkodisha "matron au bestman" wasiemfahamu ilimradi tu wapate kupendeza siku ya harusi....na siku ikiwadia unakuta Bestman au Matron kazi yake ni kufuta jasho tu la bwana au bibi harusi.

    Hivi hakuna Hadidu za Rejea (Terms of Reference) za "Best Man" na "Matron"???
     
  2. Dingswayo

    Dingswayo JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 11, 2009
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    Best man na Matron wanakuwa vilevile mashahidi katika hiyo ndoa na wanatakiwa kuweka sahihi zao katika vyeti vya maharusi kama mashahidi. Best man, anatakiwa awe mtu wa karibu sana wa bwana harusi na Matron anatakiwa awe mtu wa kariu sana na bibi harusi.

    Hawa wanakuwa washauri wa maharusi hawa wapya katika maisha yao ya ndoa, na kama kukitokea shida yoyote kuhusu ndoa, hawa ndio wa kwanza ambao maharusi wanatakiwa kuwaona.

    Kutokana na ukaribu wao kwa maharusi, matron na bestman wtakuwa wamekuwa wamejuana kwani ni watu ambao kwa muda mrefu wamekuwa katika maisha ya maharusi, au hata kushuhudia mwanzo wa uchumba.
     
  3. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

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    Well said!
     
  4. M

    Malila JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Dec 11, 2009
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    ilikusudiwa kuwa Bestman na Matron wawe kioo cha hiyo ndoa mpya,zamani ilikuwa kazi ngumu kumpata bestman,ililazimu familia ya bwana harusi mtarajiwa kuchambua kwa umakini nani anafaa kuwa msimamizi wa ndoa hiyo mpya. Na ilikuwa lazima awe ameyaonja maisha ya ndoa na akubalike mbele ya jamii.

    Hawa watu waliwajibika kuwafundisha mambo ambayo hawawezi kufundishwa na wazazi wao,kwa hiyo bestman/matron alikuwa na kazi hiyo ya kumfundisha mwenzake nini cha kufanya ktk hiyo ndoa mpya na namna ya kuenenda na mfumo mpya wa maisha.
     
  5. Ulate

    Ulate Member

    #5
    Dec 12, 2009
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    kwani ni nini maana halisi ya neno matron?
     
  6. ngoshwe

    ngoshwe JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Dec 12, 2009
    Joined: Mar 31, 2009
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    This is according to
    guide for the maid/matron of honor



    http://video.omaha.com/wedding/checklists/matron.pdf
    • An invitation to be in a wedding party is an honor and it carries with it certain responsibilities.
    • The Maid or Matron of Honor is the counterpart of the best man but with less respon- sibility.
    • She is the bride's helper and hand-holder. She should try to relieve the bride of as many tasks as she can before the wedding and especially on the day itself. Bridesmaids also should offer assista
      The Maid or Matron of Honor:
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Pays for her own gown, headdress and shoes. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]If from out of town, pays for her own transportation to the wedding site. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]If not a family member, usually gives or arranges for a shower, luncheon or party for the bride or for the bride and groom. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Usually consults with the bridesmaids about a joint gift for the bride, collects the money, purchases the gift and presents it to the bride at the chosen occasion. This gift often has the wedding date and sometimes the initials or names of the givers on it. This gift is separate from the individual wedding present to be given to the couple by each member of the bridal party. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Attends rehearsal for instructions on processional, ceremony and recessional. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Attends the rehearsal dinner. May be asked to make a toast. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Follows bride's wishes on where and when to dress for the ceremony and show up prepared and on time. Remembers to collect her own belongings afterwards. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Helps the bride dress.[/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Calms bride's nerves[/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Immediately precedes bride in processional. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Normally stands next to bride at altar and holds bride's bouquet. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Turns back bride's veil if necessary. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Adjusts train after processional. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]In a double-ring ceremony, is in charge of groom's ring and produces it at the [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]proper time.[/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]At the end of the ceremony, helps adjust bride's train and veil when she turns for the recessional. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Serves as a legal witness [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Is available for photographs. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Stands in receiving line next to the groom. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]If there is a bridal table, sits to the left of the groom. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Helps bride change into her going away clothes and makes certain the wedding gown is taken care of. [/FONT][/FONT]
    A Bride's Maid:

    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Pays for her dress, headdress and shoes [/FONT][/FONT]
    • I[FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]f from out of town, pays for her own transportation to the wedding.[/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Helps bride run errands the week of the wedding[/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Is on time for fittings, pre-wedding photographs, parties, showers, etc. [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Usually contributes to a joint present for the bride from her attendants. This is in addition to her personal wedding gift to the couple. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Attends the rehearsal for instructions on the processional, ceremony and recessional. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Attends the rehearsal dinner. She may be asked to give a toast. [/FONT][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]Follows the bride's wishes on when and where to dress for the ceremony and remembers to collect her own belongings afterwards. [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]• [/FONT][/FONT][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]If the bride requests, may be part of the receiving line or may be asked to mingle with the reception guests.[/FONT][/FONT]
    Best Man

    "Being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to the queen. On the one hand it is a great honour, but you dread the moment when you have to rise to perform."(Best man guide http://www.bestmanguide.co.uk/).

    Duties of the Best Man on the Big Day


    1. General Planning
    • Brief the caterer
      It will not be your responsibility to deal with the catering itself, as that is the preserve of the bride's father. However, you are responsible for managing the party and also for the speeches (including your own). You therefore need to have an understanding with the caterer to ensure that the tables are cleared and relative silence restored before the speeches begin. The clatter of crockery is irritating to the guests as well to the speakers.
    • Order the buttonhole carnations for key people.
      Find out early who is arranging flowers for the occasion (bride's bouquet and anything else) and offer to deal directly with the florist for buttonhole carnations for the key people, i.e. the groom, the bride's father, yourself, the ushers.
    • Book the car(s) and get a written confirmation.
      Car hire people, especially in the busy periods, will tend to be unreliable, and could easily let you down.,
    • Reserve the formal attire (if appropriate).
      It's up to the bride and groom if they want to have a formal wedding, with morning suits and perhaps even top hats.
    • Talk to the disco DJ or the leader of the band about the order of events and the choice of music.
    • Check with the clergyman or register office on the timetable.
      Never forget that your mate's wedding may not be the only one that day, and although you may not be making the arrangements (that's what the groom and the bride's father will be doing) you will be the sergeant-major on the wedding day, the one responsible for keeping to the agreed time-table for getting there, for the completion of the ceremony, for the photo shoot afterwards, and for getting away for the reception.
    • Organise the team of ushers or groomsmen.
      You can't do everything, so share the load with a hand-picked team.
    • Ensure that the bride's father draws a table plan for the sit-down meal.
      This makes for an efficient start to the meal, and it is a good idea to mark on the plan who are the vegetarians, and have a coloured sticker on the back of those chairs so the waiters/waitresses don't have to keep asking.
    • Research your speech by talking to the parents, siblings, friends, colleagues.
    • Get background on the main guests, especially key relatives.
    2. Being MC on the day
    Unless a master of ceremonies or professional toast-master has been hired, you will be in charge and your duties will begin some time in advance, especially if there is to be a stag night. It will be up to you to organise it, to invite the gang, and to arrange the `entertainment' to mark the end of the groom's single days.

    On the night before
    • Make sure the groom gets to bed early and has an undisturbed night's sleep.
    On the wedding day
    • Rise early, dress smartly, and ensure that you have
    • Money
    • credit cards
    • cheque book
    • keys
    • spectacles (if relevant)
    • any relevant paperwork relating to the wedding - mobile phone and important numbers, including the car hire people
    • guest list
    • your speech
    • the wedding ring(s).
    • Help the groom to dress and look his best.
    • Carry an emergency kit, including aspirin or paracetamol, antacid tablets, chewing gum or mints, tooth picks or floss, and deodorant.
    • Check that the ushers are all properly dressed, with matching outfits. Anything or anyone that is out of sync will stand out and spoil the symmetry of the occasion.
    • Brief the ushers or groomsmen on escorting guests to their places for the ceremony: bride's people on the left facing the front, groom's people on the right facing front.
    • Brief the ushers or groomsmen on escorting guests to their places for the ceremony: bride's people on the left facing the front, groom's people on the right facing front.
    3. At the reception
    • Be in charge.
    • Gather together all the cards and goodwill messages.
    • Make sure everyone knows where they will be sitting.
    • Check that the bride's father is OK about his speech.
    • Check if anyone else has been asked to speak and agree the running order.
    • Cross-check the stories they will be telling about the couple, to ensure that there is no duplication.
    • Look after the bridesmaids - you are their spokesman.
    • If there is a microphone for the speeches, check that it works and where it will be placed.
    • Refer to absent relatives and friends.
    • Tell the bride how pretty she looks.
    • Give advice to the groom.
    • Tell a story or two about him (embarrassing, revealing, but clean).
    • Tell the bride how pretty she looks.
    • Propose a toast to the couple (unless the bride's father has already done so).
    • Alternatively, propose a toast to absent friends
    http://www.howtobooks.co.uk/family/wedding-speeches/best-man-duties.asp









    [FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book][FONT=Berkeley Book,Berkeley Book]UZOEFU UPOJE SASA KWA HARUSI ZA SIKU HIZI???[/FONT][/FONT]

     
  7. Serendipity

    Serendipity JF-Expert Member

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    Dec 12, 2009
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    Tumeiga desturi/mila za kigeni, hivi mababu zetu walikuwa wanafuata hii kitu?
     
  8. Jile79

    Jile79 JF-Expert Member

    #8
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    hao ni watu tu wa kupendezesha harusi
    ni sawa na kuuliza rais wa nini wakati tuna watendaji wengine wa ngazi za juu ktk nchi....rais yupo kupendezesha nchi ndiyo maana tulichagua rais mzuri...............
     
  9. TIMING

    TIMING JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 15, 2010
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    bestman na matron wamepoteza maana kwenye ndoa za kisasa.... hawana ile hadhi kama inavyoelekezwa kwenye vitabu vya dini...

    tume-commercialize ndoa sasa imekua tabu tupu
     
  10. bht

    bht JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 15, 2010
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    very true!!! siku hizi vitu hovyo hovyo tu!! hata suala zima la hao kuwa washauri ni kama halipo
     
  11. FirstLady1

    FirstLady1 JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Ni hivi karibuni nimesimamia harusi mpaka naondoka kurudi kwangu best man simjui jina hata katika kusign vile vyeti kila mtu alisignatory kivyake
    ..swala kubwa eti mke wa best man alikuwa haendani na bi harusi mwenzenu nikaombwa mie kama emergency na familia ya mwanaume
    kumbe wife wa bestman nae ana wivu kupita maelezo nilikuwa hata hatusemeshani na mie nikachuna ..ile mapumziko baada ya church nikaenda zangu kaunta kujipatia kiburudisho cha koo ..baada ya harusi best man kaishia kivyake na mie kivyangu..
    Hivi hii ndoa kwa mfano ikipata ka issue tutatafutana wapi tukasaidie ????


     
  12. RayB

    RayB JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 15, 2010
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    Mimi nafikiri the major part ya hawa watu ni ile sehemu wanapokuwa ni mashahidi wa kile kinachotokea hasa kwa wakristo pale kanisani na mara nyingi huwa tunawaita wasimamizi wa ndoa na wanatakiwa wawe ni washauri wa karibu wa wanandoa hawa wapya hasa pale penye migogoro. Na ndo maana huwa wanatakiwa wawe kwenye ndoa tayari na kwa kweli wanatakiwa wawe na uzoefu wa kutosha sio siku hizi unamchukua mshikaji wako kafunga ndoa jmosi iliyopita leo anasimamia ili mradi tu kupendezesha picha.

    Kwahiyo naweza kusema mantiki nzima ya kazi ya hawa watu imepotea kabisa watu wanfocus zaidi kitakachotokea ukumbini zaidi kuliko lile tukio lenyewe na ndo maana usishngae mtu anatafuta wasimamizi hawa kwa vigezo vya kulingaba umbo na urefu wa hawa wanandoa wapya
     
  13. Regia Mtema

    Regia Mtema R I P

    #13
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    Mimi sioni umuhimu wao.Ni kuongeza maghrama yasiyokuwa na maana.
     
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