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Best divorce letter, ever

Discussion in 'Celebrities Forum' started by Mr Marcus, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. M

    Mr Marcus Member

    #1
    Sep 8, 2011
    Joined: Sep 8, 2011
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    I'm writing this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years
    & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
    you left your job today which was the last straw.

    Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked
    your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight
    to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't
    want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or
    you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.




    Your EX-Wife. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Invercargill together!


    Have a great life!





    ===============================









    Dear Ex-wife:

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

    It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from
    what you've been. I watch TV soaps so
    much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work.

    I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was
    'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything if you can't
    say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you
    must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years.
    About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on
    it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that
    morning.

    After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the 20 million
    dollar Lotto on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica, but when I
    got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.





    I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you
    wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me. So take care.

    Signed,
    Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's
    not a problem.
     
  2. mayenga

    mayenga JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Sep 8, 2011
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    Dah!!!!!
     
  3. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Sep 8, 2011
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    Brazameni
     
  4. FaizaFoxy

    FaizaFoxy JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Sep 8, 2011
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    Umenikumbusha memba wa Jambo Forums, enzi hizo. Kapotelea wapi huyu? au baada ya kutoa kashfa za vogue la mtu flani akala ban la maisha?
     
  5. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #5
    Sep 8, 2011
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    Omg!!!
     
  6. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 8, 2011
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    Usishangae ADI....!! Tunavyokwambia kwamba FF ni member wa muda mrefu hapa unafikiri tunatania... lol
     
  7. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #7
    Sep 8, 2011
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    ..........lol..... Alafu unanisingizia Dii.... mie I meant the letters... FF aliwahi admit hicho, kitu - she is for real hanaga pretense....
     
  8. Quinty

    Quinty JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Sep 8, 2011
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    this is good
     
  9. Steve Dii

    Steve Dii JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 8, 2011
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    Siamini kama mpaka leo hujui ni member yupi ni brazameni... mbona ametapakaa kila mahali mama wee! Unanshangaza lol
     
  10. Yo Yo

    Yo Yo JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 9, 2011
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    wewe goi goi mbona unajifanya unajua watu humu?
     
  11. King'asti

    King'asti JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 9, 2011
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    hiyo last part ya Carl was born Carla imenikumbusha seres ya ugly betty. kuna mdada mzuriii,one of the main characters bt she was a he,lol! wanasema usivamie bahari pasi na kujihadhari!
     
  12. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #12
    Sep 9, 2011
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    Na she is the hottest dada.... Unakumbuka ile Cocktail party entrance yake?? I was Impressed!!
     
  13. Matola

    Matola JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 9, 2011
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    Huyu mtoto Yo Yo hivi alizaliwa na magego? nafikiri hii bana aliyopigwa inafaa akajifunze heshima kwa wakubwa.
     
  14. Kwisimla

    Kwisimla Senior Member

    #14
    Sep 9, 2011
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    Ooh my! I would love to see how the wife reacted after receiving her x's letter.............
     
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