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Barber Shop

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Nesindiso Sir, Nov 8, 2007.

  1. N

    Nesindiso Sir JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Oct 31, 2007
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    A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks,
    "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and
    says,
    "About 2 hours."
    The guy leaves.
    A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks,
    "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at
    the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.
    A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks,
    "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop
    and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.
    The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the
    shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes."
    A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.
    The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
    Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house."

    Cheers!
     
  2. Invisible

    Invisible Admin Staff Member

    #2
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Feb 11, 2006
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    I knew it! Poor barber
     
  3. Mtoto wa Mkulima

    Mtoto wa Mkulima JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Apr 12, 2007
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    There is a town in northern province of Zambia called Kasama where people are so adulterous that the local priest who originated from Chipata was getting tired of hearing confessions about adultery.

    One Sunday in church, he suggested that whenever they make a
    confession about sleeping with somebody else other than their spouses, they should say that they tripped. This worked fine until he was transferred to Chipata the following year where he never experienced such type of a confession. His successor did not know anything about this arrangement and naturally, these confessions were confusing. He then decided to see the mayor and the following discussion ensued:

    Priest : Morning Mr. Mayor

    Mayor : Morning Father

    Priest : I've been meaning to talk to you about the pavements in your town

    Mayor : Why?

    Priest : Hardly a day passes without someone confessing about tripping which frankly I find odd.

    On realising that the priest did not know the context of the confession, the mayor laughed out loudly.

    The priest looked at him and said? You are laughing, your wife tripped twice this week
     
  4. Mtoto wa Mkulima

    Mtoto wa Mkulima JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Apr 12, 2007
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    A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young

    Mothers and their small children... 'You all have obsessions,' he

    Observed.



    To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating.

    You've

    Even named your daughter Candy.'



    He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again,

    It Manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'



    He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too

    Manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy.'



    At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy

    by the hand and whispers. 'Come on, Dick, we're leaving.'
     
  5. Mtoto wa Mkulima

    Mtoto wa Mkulima JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Apr 12, 2007
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    My Dear Love,
    my triangulated Sweet xxxxxxxx,

    Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric
    lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and
    spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.

    Before seeing you my heart
    was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude
    (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to
    my heart, it differentiated.

    My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can
    solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you
    extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial
    functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from
    zero to infinity.

    You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life
    revolves around your acute personality.

    My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at
    sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be
    like a solved polynomial of degree 10.

    With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an
    unknown function.
     
  6. Mtoto wa Mkulima

    Mtoto wa Mkulima JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Apr 12, 2007
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    Before Marriage -

    Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard 2 wait.

    Girl: Do u want me 2 leave?

    Boy: NO! Don't even think about it.

    Girl: Do u love me?

    Boy: Of course! Over & over!

    Girl: Have u ever cheated on me?

    Boy: NO!y r u even asking?

    Girl: Will u kiss me?

    Boy: Every chance I get!

    Girl: Will u hit me?

    Boy: R u crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

    Girl: Can I trust u?

    Boy: Yes.

    Girl: Darling!

    After marriage - - - simply read from bottom 2 top......

    --
     
  7. M

    Misterdennis JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Jun 4, 2007
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    Mtoto wa mkulima

    Thanks .... Yaaani nimecheka. The part after marriage. One wishes he could have balls enough to say such words !1
     
  8. Idimi

    Idimi JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Nov 8, 2007
    Joined: Mar 18, 2007
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    This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father
    does not like him and want them to stop their relationship......and
    so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

    1. "The great love that I have for you
    2. is gone, and I find my dislike for you
    3. grows every day. When I see you,
    4. I do not even like your face;
    5. the one thing that I want to do is to
    6. look at other girls. I never wanted to
    7. marry you. Our last conversation
    8. was very boring and has not
    9. made me look forward to seeing you again.
    10. You think only of yourself.
    11. If we were married, I know that I would find
    12. life very difficult, and I would have no
    13. pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
    14. to give, but it is not something that
    15. I want to give to you. No one is more
    16. foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
    17. able to care for me and help me.
    18. I sincerely want you to understand that
    19. I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
    20. if you think this is the end. Do not try
    21. to answer this. Your letters are full of
    22. things that do not interest me. You have no
    23. true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
    24. I do not care for you. Please do not think that
    25. I am still your boyfriend."

    So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy
    told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read
    1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.'s) go read it once again but the Odd Number
    lines..


    Nimecheka sana
     
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