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bana matumizi

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Kimbweka, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. Kimbweka

    Kimbweka JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Jul 16, 2009
    Messages: 8,610
    Likes Received: 31
    Trophy Points: 145
    HOME INTERNAL MEMO
    FROM: Father
    TO: ALL DEPENDANTS AND RELATIVES
    CC: MOTHER
    BCC: Girl friend
    SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST
    CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT
    ATTENTION.
    1. Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations
    have been revised as below and under no circumstance is any violation
    going to be accepted.
    2. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones, Entry
    and/or passage shall require express permission from myself upon
    submission of written request.
    3. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be discussed!
    Such food items as rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk
    are Restricted, Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must
    write to me in triplicate, with three days notice, giving
    justifications backed by a qualified dietician report as supportive
    documentation.
    4. Watering with hoses is banned. Further, only food-giving
    plants shall be watered. No lawns or flowers shall receive water For
    internal decoration, only plastic and dry- flower arrangements shall
    be permitted.
    5. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per
    day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are
    medical reasons.
    6. Bathing in the morning is limited to 5 litres of water per
    day per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are
    medical reasons.
    7. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect.
    8. All dependants shall abide by an all- night guard-duty
    roster I shall make available shortly.
    9. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less
    attempt to offer food, drinks or even music, Those who want their
    guests to listen to music shall sing for them
    10. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council
    or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of
    ejection from The House
    11. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property
    in The House, shall immediately have to seek temporary employment
    somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s).
    12. All visitors intending to spend a night/ week or more shall
    apply in triplicate and give two months notice, with an endorsement
    from their town Mayor, Village Headman or Church Priest, giving
    convincing reasons why they can't stay at their homes. Failure to do
    this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon
    arrival.
    THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT
    TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!!,
    :A S 114::A S 114::A S 114::A S 114::A S 114::A S 114::A S 114::A S 114::A S 114:
     
  2. Jaguar

    Jaguar JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Mar 6, 2011
    Messages: 3,409
    Likes Received: 10
    Trophy Points: 135
    Mi lyk it!kweli dingi kafulia,na-dedicate wimbo wa dingi by man dojo&domokaya na raba mtakazovaa familia nzima ni DH yaani dingi hana uwezo!
     
  3. Delucaz

    Delucaz Member

    #3
    Jun 21, 2011
    Joined: Apr 17, 2011
    Messages: 21
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    mwisho unaweza stukia wanaingia kwenye mfungo hata kama si kipindi cha ramadhani
     
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