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Badili kile ULICHONACHO kua UNACHOKITAKA!!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Lizzy, Feb 7, 2011.

  1. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Nawasalim wote dadazz na kakazz bila kuwasahau wamama na wababa!!!
    Natumaini jumatatu mmeianza vyema na wiki itaendelea kua nzuri.

    Kama wimbo tunasikia kila siku mwanamke alivyo na nafasi kubwa katika kuharibu/jenga nyumba yake (mahusiano).Ni kweli kwamba mwanamke anaweza kubomoa nyumba yake mwenyewe...ila tukiangalia hili swala bila upendeleo, mwanaume ndiye anayemuwezesha mkewe kuwa mjenzi au mharibifu wa nyumba yao!!!

    Kwa kina baba mnaodhani small house ndio suluhisho la matatizo yaliyopo majumbani mwenu hua mnakosea sana.

    Visingizio vikuu ni kwamba small house hanuni.. mapokezi mazuri....sijui anapendeza...mapenzi anatoa yote...heshima na maelewano vinakuwepo n.k kinyume na maisha yalivyo nyumbani!Mnajua kwanini???Kwasababu hata mnayofanya huko ni tofauti na mnayowafanyia wake zenu!

    Unakuta mtu nyumbani unaombwa pesa ya ada au matumizi tu ya kawaida unafoka kwamba huna pesa...huku kwa nyumba ndogo unalipa kodi...gari yake unaweka mafuta ....shopping unamfanyia na matatizo yake unamtatulia!
    Small house hufiki kwake ukaanza kumkemea au kumkaripia na kila anachotaka unampa...sasa akasirike kitu gani?Ukifika huko unaita sweety...baby sijui darling kwa kubembeleza...ukifika kwako ni ''we mama nanii kuja hapa''....mara sijui fanya hivi fanye vile kwa ukali utadhani sio mwenzako.
    Small house hakulelei watoto wala hakuaangalizii nyumba na kujali familia yako...wala hana mawazo yanayohusiana na maendeleo yenu ya kifamilia kwahiyo anakua relaxed na muda zaidi wa kujijali yeye mwenyewe ndo maana kila saa kapendeza...bila kusahau wewe unavyompendezesha kwa kumpeleka shopping bila kusahau pesa za saloon zisizoisha kuombwa!
    Nwyz my point is....BADILIKA!!!
    Huwezi kulalamika mtu ananuna tu muda wote kama hujampa kitu cha kufurahia....au hakupokei vizuri ikiwa mwenyewe ukifika getini tu unageuka simba...lazima nae atakua katika hali ya woga na kukosa amani!!
    Kua mzuri kwa mke wako..acha kurudi nyumbani na magadhabu maana hayo ndio yanayotengeneza tension.Kua mpole na mkarimu kwa mkeo.
    Acha kumkaripia na kumgombeza kama mtoto akikosea ongea nae kama mtu mzima mwenzako.
    Muonyeshe upendo kama unaodhamiria kuuonyesha au tayari unauonyesha huko kwa nyumba ndogo.
    Mjali ....kama unaona hajijali sana mshawishi kufanya hivyo....mpeleke shopping mwenyewe..msukume ajiweke safi na katika hali ya kuvutia.

    Kina mama/dada na sisi tusijisahau jamani!!Mpe mwenzio sababu ya kuwahi nyumbani na kutaka kuwa karibu na wewe!Sio mtu akiona muda wa kazi umeisha anahema kama katwishwa mzigo...hata hamu hana!

    Nawakilisha!!!
     
  2. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Lizzy - Blue Monday hii - Wengine hata kusoma paragraph moja ni matatizo - Anywayz ni-print na kusoma wikiendi
     
  3. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Acha uvivu...mbona kula hauahirishi????
    Jumatatu ndio nzuri kwasababu watu wanakua wamepumzika wkend tayari....kwahiyo tunaanza j3 kwa nguvu na ari mpya!
     
  4. Rose1980

    Rose1980 JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Feb 7, 2011
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    umenena vyema
    asante saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaana
     
  5. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Ushauri Mzuri..., na ushauri siwezi nikapinga...
    Ila point of addition tafuta unachokitaka, ridhika nacho na kichukulie kama kilivyo.., sababu vingine havibadiliki, au kubadilisha huko kunaweza kuwa kero kwa anayebadilishwa...
     
  6. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Feb 7, 2011
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    True that!Kuridhika ni muhimu sana!
     
  7. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Haa Lizzy usiseme hivyo bana critisize, tafuta chochote hapo ambacho sio cha kweli..

    Yaani yote ni true what about ukikosa unachokitaka......
     
  8. Babu Lao

    Babu Lao JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Ushauri mzuri sana na wa bure.... shukrani sana Lizzy!!
     
  9. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Hehehe ngoja nimsikilize mwalimu kwanza!Jiandae
     
  10. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Orait orait....
    VoR mara nyingi watu hua wanaona wamepata kile walichokitaka ila baada yakukikubali na kuridhika nacho mambo yanabadilika.Mtu alikua msikivu wakati mnaanza...sio mlevi sana..hana ubishi usio na tija...haonyeshi ubabe...sio mvivu na kadhalika nyingi tu ila baada ya kuwekana ndani mtu anabadilika mpaka unaona kama humjui at times.Sasa kuridhika na hayo mabadiliko kusema ukweli ni ngumu sana....kwasababu sicho ulichotaka wala ulichokikubali.

    Kusema umchukulie mlevi kama alivyo wakati akipokea mshahara anahamia bar mpaka uishe sio akili.....kumuacha mke abweteke nyumbani hafanyi chochote...na ukirudi nyumbani kavuta mdomo kama kasuku bila sababu ya msingi nayo ni next to impossible.Wala hamna mtu anaestahili kuvumilia vituko vya aina hiyo.

    Kumbadilisha mtu kwakweli sio sahihi ila kubadilisha tabia zake kama zinakera inabidi ili kuwe na amani.Mtu akiwa na chuki na familia ya mwenzake...haonyeshi kumjali mwenzake...mapenzi yake anaonyesha kwa ngumi au lugha ya matusi visibadilishwe kwasababu yeye atakereka??Je huyo anaekumbwa na adha za hiyo tabia je?
    Kinachohitajika hapa ni kua muungwana!Kuna tabia ambazo mtu akiziacha hazitamdhuru zitamfanya yeye kua mtu bora zaidi na zitamfurahisha mwenzake.Hivyo basi watu ┬┤wanatakiwa wawe tayari kuyafanya hayo mabadiliko kwaajili ya wenza wao....waache ubinafsi.Fikiria matendo yako yanamwathiri vipi mwenzako....na kama ukiacha wewe haikuathiri na ukaendelea nayo huo ni ubinafsi...acha kabisa.

    Conclusion...Mabadiliko yanastahili ikiwa mmoja anakereka na yakitokea hayatamwathiri mbadilishwa.

    Kwa hisani ya rafiki yangu kutoka fb....
    ''Even if marriages are made in Heaven, man has to be responsible for the maintanance!''
     
  11. Ennie

    Ennie JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Feb 7, 2011
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    If you cant have what you like then Love what you have.
     
  12. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Well said Lizzy,
    Ila pia tuwe na hekima ya kukabidhina na changamoto tunazokabidhiana nazo,
    Manake hakuna mteremko katika maisha, lazima majaribu, (Ups and Downs) zitokee, ili kuimarisha mahusiano,
    yetu pia. Lakini kwa hekima na akili tutashinda yote.
     
  13. VoiceOfReason

    VoiceOfReason JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Feb 7, 2011
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    True, True.... very true.., lakini vipi zile tabia ambazo mtu ulimkuta nazo ambazo wewe zinakukera.., je ni bora mtu azibadilishe kwa manufaa yako ?, ukizingatia kwa kufanya kwake hivyo atakuwa anajinyima kitu? am talking about petty things kama vile mke hapendi kupika.., uvivu wa kazi za ndani wa mke.., mwanamke kupenda kwenda kwa jirani na kupiga domo, mwanaume kupenda kutembea na kunywa kidogo (ila sio kulewa). Je is it fair kwa mtu abadilike for your sake, while missing something ambacho ni hobbie yake...? au wewe ni bora kuaccept hayo mapungufu na kujifunza kuishi nayo ? after all life is all about compromise....

    By the way huyo rafiki yako wa fb ndio wewe nini...? :)
     
  14. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Kwenye ndoa we have to compromise VOR,kuna vitu itabidi tu wewe uache na mkeo aache especially vile vinavyowezekana na ambavyo mtu akiacha hapungukiwi chochote,ni kuambiana tu kwa upole na kupeana muda wa kujifunza na kubadilika huku ukimsaidia kubadilika pale inapowezekana.Trust me watu wanaenda kwenye ndoa wakiwa na tabia za tofauti sana ila unapofika yabidi ubadilike as hata status yako imebadilika.......:coffee:
     
  15. Michelle

    Michelle JF-Expert Member

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    Feb 7, 2011
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    Thank you Lizzy,once again ushauri mzuri.....:clap2::clap2:
     
  16. Shantel

    Shantel JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Kweli kabisa wake wanajitahidi kujenga nyumba zao kuleta maendeleo y kifamilia ila wale vimada wako bize home kila saa bafuni kuosha ..........,
     
  17. Biera

    Biera JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Lizzy, Tatizo wanawake mkiolewa hamjipendi kazi kunawa miguu na kupanda kitandani..na ndo maana cc wanaume 2natoka na 2taendelea kuchukua nyumba ndogo
     
  18. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Heheheheh....kuhusu huyo rafiki sorry i can not disclose that info...niko undercover!!Lolzz!!

    Hizo tabia ulizozikuta nazo zinategemea kwakweli!!!
    Kwa mfano swala la kunywa pombe sio sawa kumlazimisha mtu kuacha kwasababu wewe hupendi!!Kama unywaji wake ni wa kistaarabu sio mtu wa kulewa chakari au kumalizia jioni zake na weekend zote bar anaweza kuvumiliwa.Hapo unatakiwa ujifunze kukubali hako ka tabia ka mwenzako kwasababu hakimuumizi yeyote kati yenu.

    Ukija kwenye uvivu hapo inategemea ni kwa kiasi gani!!I mean kwa mfano kama hamna uwezo wakuajiri mtu wa kuwasaidia naye hataki kufanya chochote nani afanye hizo kazi???Mwanaume peke yake??Hatakua anamtendea haki.Na hata kama uwezo huo mnao bado kuna vitu vidogo vidogo ambavyo vinapendeza zaidi vikifanywa na mama mwenye nyumba....sio kama duty bali kama ishara ya mapenzi na kuijali familia yake.Alafu kuna ile mtu anaenda kwa wakwe hata kuondoa kikombe chake cha chai mezani hawezi...au watu wengine wote wanafanya kazi yeye kakaa tu.....hili sio kwamba ni kosa ila sio ustaarabu.Kwahiyo uvivu ni tabia ambayo haikubaliki.....sio lazima uende shambani kulima...hata kufagia kwako mwenyewe mara moja moja tu inatosha!!!

    Bila kusahau...kitu muhimu sana katika harakati za kumweleza mwenzako nini hupendi na nini abadili jaribu usimwonyeshe kwamba ni lazima kufanya vile utakavyo...Present her/him with a choice to please you or not kama anakujali atachagua kukuplease!!Kumbuka sio mtoto anaetakiwa kufuata kila unachosema!!Na hamna mtu anaependa kusukumwa...be smart about it!!!Ongea nae kiutu uzima kwa utaratibu na katika hali ya kistaarabu!!
     
  19. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Feb 7, 2011
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    We ndio wale wale!!Umefanya nini kujaribu kumrudisha katika hali yake ya mwanzo?
     
  20. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Feb 7, 2011
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    Asante Dearest!!!
     
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