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Babu yangu..

Discussion in 'Jokes/Utani + Udaku/Gossips' started by Mentor, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 6, 2011
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    Sijui kama ni wote tulikuwa na babu wenye vituko hivi..ila mi babu yangu alikuwa amewazidi wote..
    Mzee Nyela aliitwa...
    siku moja kasafiri kaenda Mombasa. kurudi akaja na chumvi ile ya mabonge..
    akawaita wamama wa jirani akawaambia ana chumvi kali sana na nzuri from Mombasa.
    Walipokuja ikabidi awape darasa jinsi ya kuitumia maana matumizi yake ni tofauti na chumvi walizozoea.
    Akaanza;
    "(kwa kichagga) Chumvi hii ni kali sana, yani kuitumia inabidi uipake mikononi ndo uanze kumenya ndizi. USIjaribu kuiweka kwenye chakula direct..maana utaachika kwani chakula kitakuwa na chumvi sana. Na hata ukimaliza kumenya, inabidi uzioshe sana kwa maji.."
    Basi, wamama wa watu wakanunua chumvi ya mzee...wacha usiku aanze kusikia wamama wa watu wakilia kwa vipigo..kisa: chakula hakina chumvi!!!!

    Huyo ni babu yangu..babu yako alikuwa na vituko gani unavyokumbuka?!
     
  2. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jun 6, 2011
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    Siku nyingine tumetoka kumchukua dukani kwake (alikuwa mshonaji mzuri sana wa nguo)..na amelewa si kichezo,
    sasa tukawa tunashuka kilima cha kuelekea nyumbani (kichumi). Akatuambia, "wajukuu zangue, nyie tangulieni mbele, ili mkiteleza nije nikiwaokota"lol
    Kumbe huku nyuma yeye ndo alikuwa akiteleza na kuanguka kila saa. Yani trick yake ni ili tusimuone anavyoanguka...
    Mzee Nyella huyo!
     
  3. Bushbaby

    Bushbaby JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 6, 2011
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    Babu yangu alikuwa na vitu sana, mtaani walikuwa wanamwita pilipili jinsi alivyokuwa mkali, katika vitu alivyokuwa anachukia ni akukute unaonea....awe mtu ...mnyama au mdudu, siku moja siafu wakaingia jikoni kwake, akaja akatukuta tunazichoma akatuletea noma kinoma yaani na kusema acheni wadudu wa Mungu, kuna siafu alipandia akamng'ata nyuma ya goti.... aliruka na bakora ikarushwa pembeni.....alipomtoa alisema "lazima nikushome...."akamtupia kwenye moto....na akaturuhusu kuchoma wote....


    Siku nyingine tukawa tunaua panya buku, tukaziba njia zake zote za kutokea shimoni na kubakiza shimo moja tulilolitumia kuingiza maji ya mfereji.... kadri tulivyokuwa tunajaza maji na panya buku kuonyesha dalili zote za kutoka ndivyo babu yangu alivyokuwa anatutaka kuwa wajasiri...kila mtu alisimama kwenye shimo lake... panya buku akatoka speed shimo alilokuwa kasimama babu...Babu alishtuka badala ya kumpiga akabaki akisema huyu hapa huyu hapa huku anasogea pembeni....
     
  4. samito

    samito JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 6, 2011
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    mi babu yangu ni mzee sana maana alizaliwa kipindi kile ule uwanja wa man u unaitwa Old traphod enzi hizo ulikuwa unaitwa NEW TRAPHOD
     
  5. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jun 6, 2011
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    Du Samito, mbona unatulisha matango pori aisee!???
     
  6. Bushbaby

    Bushbaby JF-Expert Member

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    Lakana na Isembo.....
     
  7. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Jun 6, 2011
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    Hahah...njilaichiny...kumbe nyi isembo eeh!??
    but u know what they said, "It takes a fool to know a fool" hahahaha...juskidding
     
  8. S

    Stj 2011 Member

    #8
    Jun 6, 2011
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    Nyi isembo au ikwavi?
     
  9. Capitano

    Capitano JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Babu yangu alikuwa anaitwa Tondoloveta(nadhani ni tusi la kijerumani).tafuta Yeye alikuwa anatuhimiza kutafuta mademu
     
  10. Mshume Kiyate

    Mshume Kiyate JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Babu alikuwa anapenda sana sigara kalì nyota, sijui bado zipo
     
  11. Husninyo

    Husninyo JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 7, 2011
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    Babu yangu yupo humu humu jf. Ngoja aseme mwenyewe vituko vyake.
     
  12. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Hahahahahahahaha...kaka, kama babu yako ni mchaga basi wala si tusi la kijerumani ni kichaga...hahahahaahah!
    tondoloveta==mjinga wa veta!!lol
    itondo=mjinga
    lo=wa
    veta=veta!
    Alifeligi veta nini!???teh teh teh....du, kweli babu yako nyi itondo kapisa!!!
     
  13. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #13
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    Du, hizi nadhani itabidi ujitengenezee mwenyewe...customized...na majani ya mpapai!Lol
    Babu yangu ndo alitufunza hivo...hahahah, #gud old days
     
  14. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Jun 7, 2011
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    DU kumbe babu .com ee??! una miaka kumi na ngapi wewe!??
     
  15. Mdau Mkuu

    Mdau Mkuu JF-Expert Member

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    Jun 7, 2011
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    me babu yangu akiwa mzee kabisa alini2ma viagra,nashukuru mwenye duka alinikatalia sababu ya udogo wangu sasa nimekuwa ndo nimejua alikuwa ana maanisha nn!
     
  16. Asprin

    Asprin JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Babu yangu Meku Serya...

    Siku mvua inanyesha sie tunaota moto huku tukichoma maindi, akaachia ushuzi kwa bahati mbaya....nilisikia nikauchuna naye akauchuna. Ushuzi ulipotoa harufu mbaya, kaka yangu akala makwenzi na kupigwa mkwala "wanaume huwa hawajambi hovyo"........Kaka akitaka kujitetea babu akamkatiza "Nyamaza, malabuku" Akala kwenzi jingine.

    dah! Ushuzi aachie babu, kwenzi atiwe bradha.............nlitoka nje nikacheka sana.....ningechekea pale nami ningekula kwenzi.......!

    RIP my dear Babu.... I miss you vibaya sana!
     
  17. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

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    Du Mdau, hope hiyo tabia hujaiiga!
     
  18. Raia Fulani

    Raia Fulani JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Jun 7, 2011
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    umenikumbusha enzi za fuko na ngawa na vilochindi na makoru na nduu na sowe na mafido na pichini na nuka na kiumbo na visoia na masale na mawiri n.k n.k
     
  19. Mentor

    Mentor JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Jun 7, 2011
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    aisee...we m2 wa wapi raia??
     
  20. sweetlady

    sweetlady JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Jun 7, 2011
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    RIP babu Asprin ila nna hakika utakuwa umemsingzia..,lol.
     
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