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Avutwa na sura sasa majuto ni mjukuu.............

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Rutashubanyuma, Apr 13, 2011.

  1. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Apr 13, 2011
    Joined: Sep 24, 2010
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    Please help me get rid of this manipulative woman[​IMG]

    Your remarriage is not the issue here. The issue is whether you had healed enough and were emotionally ready to make such a serious decision. The hurried manner in which you got into a relationship with this woman leaves one thinking: ‘Okay, what is at play here? What’s next?’
    By PHILIP KITOTO (dn2@ke.nationmedia.com)
    Posted Sunday, April 10 2011 at 14:28

    Dear Counsellor,

    Related Stories


    I seek your advice on how to divorce my “wife”. I lost my wife of 21 years in January 2010 and during the funeral, I noticed a beautiful Ugandan woman. I got her contacts and started communicating with her through e-mail since I am based outside the country.

    When I came home in June last year, I invited her to Nairobi and the two of us started a fire before she left for Kampala. Two weeks later, she came back to Nairobi with the news that she was pregnant with my child.

    I went back to my work and came back again in September, and she came over to Nairobi. She looked pregnant and since I was in a hurry, I went to a DC’s office in a remote part of the country and got a marriage certificate within a day, the immigration procedures arising from her Ugandan nationality notwithstanding.

    We started living together, but I left after one week and she stayed in Nairobi until I invited her to my duty station in November.

    That invitation was the start of my troubles. First, she refused to go to a pre-natal clinic and to take an HIV test despite her condition. Then I travelled to a neighbouring country and when I returned, she dropped the bombshell that she had miscarried.

    We continued staying together, but our relationship was punctuated by misunderstandings. There are many things she had not told me about her past which I later found crucial and these affected our relationship.

    For instance, she had told me that she was a student at Makerere University, but I found her IQ too low. It emerged that she had never been a student at Makerere.

    Eventually, and after a series of quarrels, I decided that enough was enough and that I would take her back to her parents. But she said she was not leaving and stormed my office, where she demanded, in front of my boss, that I compensate her. She warned me that she would sue me should I dare to let her fly out without paying her.

    My boss advised me to do everything possible to get her out of the country, even if it meant taking leave from work. In the process, she forced me to make a promise, in writing, that I would be sending her money every month.

    I seek your advice on how to divorce this woman. Can I base my case on the fact that we got the marriage certificate without following the required procedure, or that she withheld important information from me?

    Now that I am a Kenyan but working outside the country — with occasional trips back home — can I file the divorce case in Kenya? Can she claim any upkeep given that I only stayed with her for four months and that she is not domiciled in Kenya? Where, in your opinion, do you think is the most appropriate place to file the case?

    Anonymous.

    Hi,

    I empathise with you on the loss of your wife. I pray that you have found healing and the strength to move on. However, from the look of things, it appears you have had a rough time.

    First, when one spouse passing on, the remaining partner needs to take time to mourn and grieve over the loss. In your case, your connection to the other woman came into being hardly a day after burying your wife.

    You did not take time to truly grieving for her. This was unwise and is the genesis of your current troubles. Were you emotionally sober enough to make such a decision? What triggered this desire? Were you looking for something to fill the void? These are the questions that come to mind even as I empathise with you.

    Get me right; your remarriage is not the issue here. The issue is whether you had healed enough and were emotionally ready to make such a serious decision.

    The hurried manner in which you got into a relationship with this woman leaves one thinking: “Okay, what is at play here? What is next?”

    Well, what was at play was a history of lies and manipulation, and a game of hide-and-seek. As much as the woman took advantage of you, you need to take responsibility for moving too fast by opening a door for her to manipulate you, take advantage of the pain you were going through, and abuse the trust you gave her. You opened the way for her to con you into marrying her.

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  2. Rutashubanyuma

    Rutashubanyuma JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Apr 13, 2011
    Joined: Sep 24, 2010
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    Haraka haraka huwa haina baraka..........................................
     
  3. Tausi Mzalendo

    Tausi Mzalendo JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Apr 13, 2011
    Joined: May 23, 2010
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    MHH!
    WANAUME MUPO?
    Mke hata hajaoza kaburini tayari macho juu kama moshi wa rocketi! Ina maana alikuwa akimuombea mkewe kifo huyu!Wanaume kwanini hamna utu hata kidogo? Nimefurahi sana ilivyomtokea puani huyu mpuuzi.
    Na nyie wengine humu, mjifunze.
     
  4. Maria Roza

    Maria Roza JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Apr 13, 2011
    Joined: Apr 1, 2009
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    No comments lol
     
  5. Kingcobra

    Kingcobra JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Apr 14, 2011
    Joined: Jan 28, 2011
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    Nami sina comment!
     
  6. LD

    LD JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Apr 14, 2011
    Joined: Aug 19, 2010
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    Bandika bandua hata kwenye kifo? Mbaya sana.:help:
    Stop, kukurupuka...................
     
  7. MESTOD

    MESTOD JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Apr 14, 2011
    Joined: Nov 12, 2010
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    Tausi Mzalendo punguza jazba. Mi naweza nikalaumu hasa watu wake wa karibu maana kipindi hicho unaweza hata kujiondoa duniani ili tu uepuke kunywa kikombe cha mateso. Kipindi hicho hata kama mtu hakuwa mlevi atakunywa pombe tu.
    Ni kweli jamaa hakutakiwa kutafuta replacement wakati wa mazishi ya mkewe.
     
  8. Tajy

    Tajy JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Apr 14, 2011
    Joined: Apr 9, 2011
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    Mkubwa!uliopoa bila hata kucheck afya?fasta kacheck afya yako ujue km uko shwar au vp,then just check ustaarabu mwingine!hakufai mrudishe kwa wazazi wake!inaumiza sn hilo.pole sn ndugu
     
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