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Arrgghh! Mkwe!...

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mbu, Nov 1, 2010.

  1. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Nov 1, 2010
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    [​IMG]

    ...Hivi, ni Kwanini?
    Mbona kina dada/kina mama wengi wanamatatizo sana kimahusiano na 'mama mkwe?'
    ---Shida ni nini?---
    Mbinu gani mbadala/muafaka huchukuliwa kusuluhisha/kuepusha gogoro hili la enzi na enzi?
     
  2. TUKUTUKU

    TUKUTUKU JF-Expert Member

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    Nafikir tatizo kubwa huwa ni conflict of interest
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #3
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    ..kivipi, fafanua ki mtizamo wako basi bana..?
     
  4. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #4
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    Mbu Darling hii yote inafanyika kwa ajili ya upendo mkuu walio nao hawa wawili juu yako. Mama anakupenda sana na mke anakuzimia kupita kiasi ila tu ni wivu unaowasumbua...

    Wajua mama siku zote mwanae wa kiume hamwoni kama amekuwa na wala haamini kama kuna mwanake mwingine (zaidi yake) anayeweza kukutunza na kukupenda kama yeye so kila anachokifanya mke mama anaona anakosea. Ndio maana utakuta wamama wengine wanafikia hata hatua ya kulazimisha kipikwe aina flani cha chakula kwa kuwa mwanaye anakipenda yaani huwa wako emotional sana kiasi cha kujisahau.

    Inapotokea hivi mke naye anaona kama vile mama anamwingilia maisha yake na mumewe, so anashindwa kuvumilia naye anajitutumua kumwonyesha mama kuwa kama wewe ni mama mie ni mke naweza mtunza mume wangu. Sasa inapofikia hatua ya mkeo kusahau kuwa mamako ni mkwewe/mamake pia yeye anaanza kucompete naye kama mke mwenzake. Kama ni mke asokuwa na busara atatumia nguvu nyingi sana kukuwini wewe from your mom na kumwonyesha mamako kuwa yeye ni MWANAMKE wa shoka wakati mke mwenye busara huwa anajitahidi kumvuta mkwe upande wake kwa kumfanya rafiki yake so that aweze kupata la hapa na pale juu yako.

    Nakiri sometimes wamama wanakuwa wako difficulty so ikiwa mama yuko hivyo ni bora mke akazungumza na mume ili waone watakavyoyaweka mambo sawa. Maana wamama wengine duh............. namkumbuka marehemu bibi yangu mzaa baba...huyu sikumpatia mfano wake kwa kweli, yaani angekuwa enzi hizi ningemwita mama mkwe/bibi mcharuko.. but alikuwa na yake mwma though
     
  5. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #5
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    ...heheheheh, ...watu wa 'Malaria haikubaliki' warie tu mwaka huu!..
    sidhuriki kwa DDT wala XPEL!

    ...umegusa ndipo nilipokusudia! Pana utatuzi gani katika hili?
     
  6. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #6
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    Hahahahah umenichekesha sana mwenzio niko kinasaha zaidi jamani Mbu... hiyo ni kukufanya utue moyo wako ili nasaha zikuingie ipasavyo lol


    Suluhisho my dia ni wewe kuwa karibu na mkeo.. kwanza kuisoma situation ya mama ukiona kama kuna ka-beef baridi kaa na wifi kwa upendo tena ikiwezekana toka naye dinner mwambie unaelewa matatizo ya mama (hata kama huyaelewi) mwambie unayaelewa na unayapuuza so na yeye ajaribu kuyachukulia kiulaini kwa kutoyafuatilia mambo ya mama...... tena sometimes mama akifanya cha kufanya we jitie hutilii maanani.

    Kuna wamama wengine hawapendi kuona hata mkwe wao anatolewa out, ananunuliwa kitu kizuri ni kawaida. Ukitaka mtoa out mwambie ajipange mkutane juu kwa juu ili msimkwaze mama au wewe ndo umwage mama ukitoa sababu ambazo si za kuamsha tamaa au wivu. Jitahidi kumpa wifi pesa angalau awe anamnunulia mama zawadi na siku moja moja amtoe out na wajukuu kama anao. Kuwa karibu na mkeo ila usionyeshe kuwa mama unamtenga, mweleweshe mkeo ili naye awe anakusapoti pale unapokuwa na mama.,,,,, Mhakikishie kuwa yeye ni mkeo na wewe ni mumewe na yule ni MAMA YAKO tu yaani Mke wa BABA yako.

    gudi laki
     
  7. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...ha ha! kwakweli hata ka usingizi (sababu ya kukesha kuhesabu 'kula') kameniruka ghafla!

    ...MWJ'ONE, kuna baadhi ya hawa wake na dada zetu wengine wametoka nje ya mstari kabisa kiasi cha kuwatupia matusi, kashfa na vijembe hadharani mama wazazi.

    ..pamoja na ukosefu wa busara na heshima, binafsi nalichukulia suala la mke kumtukana mama yangu mzazi sawa na kunitukana mimi, ndoa yangu na familia yangu yote.
    Kuna busara ya kuwasuluhisha tena...au weye unaonaje?
     
  8. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #8
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    Sweetie inapofikia hapa inabidi utiulize kichwa na kuchukua nafasi yako kama mwanaume, mume na pia kichwa cha familia my friend. Cha muhimu ni kujitahidi kujua chanzo hadi ikafikia huko kwa sababu ninaamini mwanamke/mkeo yaani wifi naye ni binaadamu, kughafilika ni kitu cha kawaida na ukumbuke binadamu wote si sawa kwa namna ya kuhandle situations na kureact so inawezekana kabisa akawa kamtusi kwa sababu ya kushindwa kujizuia kibinaadamu na pengine mama kamkera vilivyo so unapokimbilia kuamua upande mmoja unaweza ukawa unaobscure justice kaka yangu. Tulia uliza taratibu yaliyojiri then kaa chini utafakari whether it was necessary kwa wifi kutukana mkwe........ kisha kaa naye kwa upendo mwulize taratibu kwa upole ( I wish ingekuwa inawezekana KULIWAZA hata kama tuna maswahiba) kwa sababu kwa kawaida yetu mara baada ya lile LIWAZO ndipo tunafunuaga yote yaliyomo moyoni) utapata tu jibu.

    Ikiwa vipi see the possibility of having them separated kwa kuishi mbali mbali . sometimes wamama mh waacheni tu inawezakuwa ngumu kuwahandle... mimio nilishamshuhudiaga mama akifungua mdomo wake na kuyatoa ya kumtoka yaani aliyatoa hadi ya mwaka 1984 bibi alipokuja kuishi na sisi na hapo ilikuwa mwaka 1992. I am telling you I was shocked how My Mom alivyoweza kuvumilia (she is mpole sana yaani nikisema mpole I mean it hadi siku nyingine huwa naona kama anamwendekeza sana mzee .but thats how she is.... I just wish ningekuwa kama yeye but I cant I know that

    Just remember yule ni mama yako huwezipata mwingine kama yeye na huyu ni mkeo , a woman uliyechagua awe mwenzi wako for the rest of your life, pengine ni mama wa watoto wako.... you cant afford loosing them easily
     
  9. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...yaani unavyonipa raha, ngoja nikakutafutie chokileti nyingine,...!

    ...swadakta MwanajamiiOne, lakini hapo kwenye wekundu msimamo wangu siwezi pata mama mwingine, 'siwezi kumpoteza' kwa kashfa, matusi na dharau za mke.

    Unajua kwanini nimeileta hii? kuna rafiki yangu (mwanamke) ameamua kufungua kesi hadharani akimtuhumu na kumtukana vibaya vibaya mama mkwe wake kwenye FACEBOOK,... nimejaribu kumsihi asimdhalilishe mzaa chema hadharani lakini kama lilivyosikio la kufa... 'hasikii la mwadhini wala mnadi swala.'

    Kwa sie tulio waangaliaji, wasomaji na wachangiaji tunaona kama kwamba jamaa (mume mtu) kakaliwa kichwani fulani, maana ame myuti kimyaaaaaaa.... mke anatamba tu! Au weye unaionaje kesi hii?
     
  10. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #10
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    Ehee huyu sasa kapitiliza mipaka... duh hata kwa mie ambaye sijawahifundwa siwezifanya hayo. Asa huyo Mama Mkwe anaingia huko Fesibuku jamani??? Eh hebu mshikeni sikio huyo mwanaume mwenzanu hapana thats too much............ :nono::nono:

    KWa hapa hata kama amemkosea kitu gani yaani hata kama amemkuta na mwanae kitandani (maana mambo ya siku hizi hili hata si la ajabu) sidhani kama anapaswa kufanya hivyo.... kwa nini asikae kimya?? ephweeeee sweetheart ...hapa ni kiboko. :A S angry:
     
  11. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #11
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    ...Swadakta, ...nadhani hapo imekugusa kiwango kisicho-stahmilika mama mkwe 'anapovuliwa nguo' hadharani huku mume mtu anastahmili tu.
    Mke huyo kweli mumewe anastahiki kumkalisha chini na ma'mkwe kuwapatanisha kweli?
    Kwakweli mwenzenu kutukaniwa hadharani mama yangu ni zaidi ya kunitukana mimi
     
  12. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #12
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    Baby ............ that is too much unajua kaka wakati naandika utumbo wangu hapo juu nilikuwa najua kuwa ni zile clashes za kawaida zile za ndani ya nyumba ambazo sometimes hata wewe mume unaweza usigundue zaidi ya kuona majicho ya pembe yakikatwa na midomo kubetuliwa kila apitapo mmoja wao lol hii ni kali. Yaani I thought it was kama ile ya mama yangu maana sometimes mie ndo nilikuwa nagundua (I was just too emotional nadhani tangu nikiwa mtot.. I just happened to notice kukiwa na any thing unusual..... even mom and dad walipokuwa wakikwaruzana - my mom alikuwa so msiri - even now pamoja na kuwa mwanaye nimekuwa na dunia ninaijua vilivyo yaani hadi akupe experience yake na kipenzi chake .... umefanya kazi)

    Duh kwa huyu hapana.......... sasa unaanzaje kumpatanisha maana ka mama mkwe naye ni wa kisasa mlango wa Fesibuk anaujua (Si kama MJ1 hapa) ah sijui utamvika mbeleko gani mwe hapo pagumu......dada kachemka hata akiewa talaka sitamshangaa mume ah.
     
  13. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    myluv, ingekuwa kesi za mkwe hakutengewa chakula au kanyimwa mchuzi mbona hizo kesi wanaume wengi huzifumbia macho?
    Hii kesi 'kwa mkichwa' bana,... Bibie povu linamtoka mdomoni!
    Anyway,...hata kwa biblia imeandikwa kwenye methali 14:1 mke wa aina hiyo.
    Na mashaka na huo ustahmilivu wa mume, ...pengine wengine huwaliza machozi mamazao wazazi 'walivyodhibitiwa' wake zao.
    Kumtusi mama mzazi ili upendeke kwa mke si ndio laana zenyewe?
     
  14. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #14
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    ........ Naomba niulize je na huyo mama anajibu mashambulizi huko kwenye fesibuk?? Kama jibu ni ndio basi ameshaona mwanaye amekaliwa so ameamua kujihami na kumprotect mwanaye na mke ambaye mama anamwona ni kurumbembe....mh kujibishana na mama mkwe hadharani kwa kweli sijawahisikia..... tena kama ni facebookuni nahisi huyo mdada angalau shule imepanda *(Mnisahihishe kama si lazima kuwa msomi ili uwezetumia face book).
     
  15. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

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    ...pole mydear nimechelewa kukujibu, mama mkwe hajajibu wala mawifi. Sasa sijui, hawana access ya FB au wanabusara tu wamemuachia na 'domo lake!'
     
  16. St. Paka Mweusi

    St. Paka Mweusi JF-Expert Member

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    Nov 2, 2010
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    Mkuu Mbu ugomvi wa mama mkwe na mkamwana wake mara nyingi unasababishwa na vitu vingi sana.Mengi ameyazungumza MJ.1 hapo juu.Lakini kubwa kuliko vyote ni ile hali ya kumgombea mwanaume kati ya mama(anataka mtoto) na mke(anataka mume)na mara nyingi kwa sisi waafrika ugomvi huo husababishwa na material things kama vile pesa,nyumba,magari,na zawadi nyingine ndogondogo.Binafsi nimeshashuhudia mke kaolewa hata hajamaliza mwezi anawaambia wifi zake msifikiri mna kitu hapa hata kama mume wangu akifa leo mali zote ni za kwangu.Na nimeshashuhudia mama mkwe anatamka wazi kuwa huyu mwanamke kaja kula hela ya mwanangu tu hapa,hiyo ni mifano tu ambayo nimeishuhudia ikitokea na inaweza kuelezea ni vipi ugomvi unapoweza kuanzia kati ya pande hizo mbili.
    Ili kuweza kuweka mambo sawa kwanza mwanaume kama kichwa cha familia alitakiwa achukue hatua mwanzo kabisa kabla mambo hayo hayajaingia katika hayo mafacebook,inaonesha kuwa hapo situation ni critical kiasi cha watu sasa kupeana vijembe kama waimba taarab.Anatakiwa kwanza asiwe na upande wowote yaani awe neutral katika ugomvi huo asiwe upande wa mama wala mke,kisha awakalishe chini wote wawili ikiwezekana wawepo na watu wengine kama vile baba,wajomba,shangazi au yeyote anayeaminika ambaye umri unakaribiana na wa mama.Kisha kwa upole mwanaume ndio aanzishe mjadala ili kujua tatizo liko wapi kati ya mama na mke,na katika hilo mwanaume ajitahidi kurekebisha aina yeyote ya hasira au hamaki itakayojitokeza wakati wa mazungumzo hayo.Akiweza kufanikisha hilo atoe nafasi kwa waalikwa wa kikao hicho kuchangia mtazamo wao kwa tukio zima toka lilipoanza mpaka kufikia hatua hiyo.Baada ya hapo uamuzi ufikiwe kama vile kutoa onyo,karipio au adhabu kutegemeana na hali itakayojitokeza kisha pande zote mbili ziridhie kwa kusameheana na kushikana mikono.Likishindikana hilo basi inabidi kuwatenganisha kama uwezekano huo upo kisha kutafuta suluhu nyingine ambayo nitakueleza ukirudi kuniambia yameshindikana.MUHIMU ni huyo jamaa asichelewe kuchukua hatua maana kuna msichana mbichi tu alipoteza maisha kwa njia ya utatanishi baada ya kuwa haelewani na mama mkwe wake na kila mtu alisema ni mama mkwe ndio kamroga,siombei hayo ila kuepusha balaa linalonukia ni bora jamaa akasimama imara na kutatua tatizo hilo,na asikosee kuzungumza na kila mtu peke yake maana waswahili walisema,msema pweke hushinda.
     
  17. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

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    MJ1 naona unaongelea ndoa yangu, shemeji yako alikudokeza kitu?...mhh mama mkwe wangu habebeki jamani, hayo ya kutoka out na kila m2 anarudi kivyake ndio tunayoyafanya na mr mama akiwepo huku, jamani mama mkwe wangu cjui nimbebe na mbeleko gani, lakini cku hizi najitahidi kumwacha alivyo japo bila support ya mr nicngeweza, kwa mama mwanae ni kama bado anatambaa vile, hakuna mtu anaeweza kumwonyesha njia ya maisha zaidi yake yeye....
     
  18. Nyamayao

    Nyamayao JF-Expert Member

    #18
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    kuna frnd wangu alichoshwa na mambo ya mama mkwe cku moja akamraukia tu...""mama wewe umemnyonyesha mwanao kwa miaka mi3, mie namnyonyesha yeye na wajukuu zako, sasa ukiwa kwangu tupeane haki sawa""..hii ndoa iliyumba sana sana....
     
  19. Baba Mtu

    Baba Mtu JF-Expert Member

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    Hawa mama mkwe na mka mwana wanasumbuliwa na ugonjwa wa UKIRO. Wakipatiwa tiba hakutakuwa na ugomvi baina yao.
     
  20. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

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    Duh nahisi mamkwe ilibidi anywee.... lol mama wakwe wana visa. Mie nina dada yangu (rafiki) mama mkwe hakumpenda tangu mwano alikuwa anataka mwanae asioe mnyambala ... basi alikuwa anapata shida huyo... kila siku mameno, mwaka wa kwanza akapata mtoto wa kiume ambaye kidogo amwondoe duniani kwa alivyo umwa, wakaamua na mumewe wapumzike angalau miaka minne kabla ya kumpata mwingine mama ntu ikawa ikila kukicha yuko ndani ya Sumry anakujaangalia kama tumbo la dada limevimba na mikashfa kibao yaani hapo hata mtoto hatatimiza mwaka!..ilipofika miaka miwili akamtolea uvivu akamwambia ..........O alikuwa tu mbishi angemwoa yule wa nyumbani sasa hivi angekuwa na watoto wawili!!........dada kwa hasira akamwambia ........wamekuwa mboga kuwa kila akija mgeni wachinjwa??....... Ikawa mwanzo wa bifu. Hadi leo hawaivi na dada tangu aolewe alikanyaga mara moja tu huko kwa mkwewe na sasa ni miaka 13
     
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