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Amvumiliee??

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Nyakwaratony, Mar 28, 2012.

  1. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Dec 21, 2011
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    Helow Helow MMU, kuna shost angu ana boyfriend wake na wamedumu kwa muda wa miaka miwili sasa ila shida ya huyo bf hamjali in all aspect, shost keshavumilia mpaka maji yamefika shingoni. Ameshajaribu kumshape huyo bf wake na kila mara anakiri kosa na kuhaidi kubadilika ila haoneshi matendo... Sasa kaniomba ushauri jee aendelee kumvumilia make kuna mkaka mwingine anakuja kasi sana na keshaanza kumjali hata kabla ya mahusiano ila anachooogopa ni kwamba kuna marafiki wa bf wake wanafahamiana na mkaka wa pili anayekuja kwa kasi. Na hao marafki wanajua kabisa shost na mkaka wa kwanza ni wachumba ila vituko vya mkaka wa kwanza hawavijui kama mjuavyo "siri ya mtungi aijuaye kata". Anaogopa kuitwa kicheche afanyeje????
     
  2. BRO LEE

    BRO LEE JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Dec 25, 2011
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    Swali ya kujiuliza ni kwa nini aliingia katika mahusiano na nini alitarajia/anahitaji katika mahusiano.
    Kuendelea kuishi katika uhusiano ambao huna furaha nao ni kuidhulumu nafsi yako. Nafikiri anatakiwa kuongea na huyo bf wake amwambie namna ambavyo uhusiano wao haumvutia/unavyomuumiza na anahisi hakutakuwa na mwisho mzuri, hivyo wasitishe kungali mapema, najua siyo rahisi ila anatakiwa kujiamini.

    Kwa sasa asije akaanza mahusiano ya kungonoka na huyo bf mpya mpaka afikie muafaka na huyo wa awali.
     
  3. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Mar 28, 2012
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    sasa kuna umuhimu gani wa kuwa kwenye uhusiano na mtu asiyekujali?
     
  4. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Aug 22, 2008
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    Hapo kwenye bold, BRO LEE umenena sawia.
     
  5. Smile

    Smile JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Jul 18, 2011
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    Ni Maalum Kwa Wadada Hasa Waliopo Kwenye Mahusiano Ila Bado Hawajaolewa Na Wana Mpango Endelevu Na Wenza Wao

    Wadada Wengi Wanashindwa Kutambua Wapi Wanapendwa Na Wapi Wanadanganywa. Vigezo Vifuatavyo Vitakusaidia Kutofautisha Mwanaume Anayekupenda Na Mwenye Mpango Wa Kukuoa Na Yule Anaekutumia Tu Ila Hana Mpango Na Wewe.

    1. Mawasiliano:
    ...
    Mwanaume Anaekupenda Hawezi Kumaliza Siku Bila Kuwasiliana Na Wewes (Kama Hakuna External Factors Zinazosababisha Mawasiliano Yawe Mabovu). Kama Wewe Ni Mtu Wa Kupiga Simu Kila Siku, Kutuma Emails Lakini Mwenzio Haoneshi Ushirikiano Ujue Hapo Kuna Utata.

    2. Ushirikishwaji:

    Anaekupenda Ni Lazima Atakushirikisha Mambo Yake Mengi Yawe Makubwa Au Madogo. Unaweza Shirikishwa Kwa Namna Ya Kuombwa Ushauri Au Kupewa Taarifa. Kama Upo Kwenye Uhusiano Ila Unashangaa Mambo Yanafanyika Tu Bila Kuelewa Ujue Haupo Myoni Mwake, Haoni Kama Waweza Mshauri La Maana Na Haoni Kuna Umuhimu Wa Wewe Kujua.

    3. Utambulisho.

    Jiangalie Kama Unatambulika Kwa Ndugu, Rafiki Na Jamaa Zake Wa Karibu. Kama Muda Wa Kutambulishana Rasmi Kwa Wazazi Haujafika, Vipi Kwa Marafiki, Wafanyakazi Wenzie Au Makaka Na Madada!!. Unawafamu Marafiki Zake Wawili Wakati Anao 30? Utambulisho Huwa Ni Swala Gumu Kama Mwanaume Hakupendi Na Hajivunii Kuwa Na Wewe. Mwanaume Ambae Tayari Ana Mpenzi Mwingine Na Anatambulika Kwa Watu Wake Wa Karibu Ni Mzito Kukutambulisha Na Wewe. Inabidi Ustuke Hapo.

    4. Mazingira.

    Unapafahamu Anapoishi? Anapofanya Kazi? Maeneo Anayopenda Kutembelea? Kama Jibu Ni Hapana, Unahisi Ni Kwa Nini? Kuna Sababu Nje Ya Uwezo Wenu Zinazosababisha Usifahamu Hayo Ulishamwomba Ufahamu Ila Alikataa? Hapa Nakuachia Utafakari Mwenyewe.

    5. Anakufahamu Kiasi Gani?

    Kama Upo Na Mpenzi Lakini Haoneshi Interests Za Kutaka Kukufahamu Zaidi Inabidi Ujiulize Mara Mbili Mbili. Kwa Mfano, Mpenzi Wako Anajua Jina Lako Na Mahali Unapoishi Tu. Hajui Mazingira Unayoishi, Kazi Unayofanya, Hajui Ndugu Zako Hata Kwa Kuwasikia Ujue Huyo Mwanaume Hakupendi. Anaekupenda Ataandika Kitabu Kizima Kukudescribe Lakini Asiyekupenda Hata Page 1 Haitojaa.

    6. Ubahili/Ubinafsi

    Hapa Ni Kwa Wenye Wapenzi Wenye Uwezo Mzuri Kifedha. Angalia Kama Anasikiliza Shida Zako Na Kujaribu Kuzitatua. Inawezekana Hakujali Na Hakuhudumii Kipesa Kwa Sababu Ana Mpenzi Mwingine Ambae Ameelekeza Huko Matumizi Yake. Pengine Hakuamini, Anahisi Hata Akikuhudumia Utamtosa; Ila Kama Anashindwa Kukuamini Anawezaje Kukupenda? Mtu Wa Hivyo Hata Upendo Wake Ni Wa Mashaka. Kama Hana Uwezo Kifedha Je Anakuwa Na Wewe Bega Kwa Bega Unapokuwa Na Shida? Anayekupenda Atakujali Wakati Wa Shida Na Raha
     
  6. fazaa

    fazaa JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: May 20, 2009
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    Si ndo hapo hata mimi nashangaa.
     
  7. Janjaweed

    Janjaweed JF-Expert Member

    #7
    Mar 28, 2012
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    Haya mapenzi ya konsalteshen haya....
     
  8. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #8
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Dec 21, 2011
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    Alishaongea na bf wake wa mwanzo na kumueleza kuwa kuna hiki na hiki sio kizuri mimi ckipendi.... Alijitahidi kuwa muwazi ina jamaa alikiri kosa na udhaifu akaahidi kubadilika ila haoneshi kubadilika kivitendo. Ishafika wakati akimwambia sana mambo ambayo hayafurahii jamaa anasema mbona wewe ni mwepesi kulaumu. Mf. "jamaa anaweza kutopatiakana siku nzima kesho yake ndo anapatikana na ni mpaka shost ampigie kumuuliza kulikoni anasema oooh mara chip yangu iliblock afu ilikuwa ni w-end ndo nimetoka kuswap saiv napanga kukuigia ndo na wewe unanipigia" Sasa shost anamuuliza ulishindwa hata kutafuta cm yoyoteukanipa hiyo taarifa, jamaa anajibu niliogopa kuomba cm. Shost anaumia kweli cos anampenda. Basi yanaishia hivo hivo... sasa naona kachoka anahitaji kumove foward!
     
  9. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Mar 28, 2012
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    Kipenda roho hula nyama mbichi!
     
  10. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Dec 21, 2011
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    Nimeicopy na kuipaste ili niiprint kabisaaaaa nimpelekee shost. Make hapa umemaliza kabisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. Asante sana smile hata mimi pia nimejifunza kitu. Naweza sema mjadala umefungwa ila bado nakaribisha maoni tofauti tofauti
     
  11. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Mar 28, 2012
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    Duh, kipaumbele cha shost ako ni kuogopa kuitwa kicheche, basi aendelee na huiyo aliyenaye.
     
  12. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #12
    Mar 28, 2012
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    Ndo mana anahitaji ushauri..... Hebu mshauri basi!
     
  13. Kbd

    Kbd JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Mar 28, 2012
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    Mi penda wewe sana.
     
  14. Perry

    Perry JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Mar 28, 2012
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    Huyo shost wako ana umri gani?
     
  15. S

    Song'ito JF-Expert Member

    #15
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Oct 4, 2011
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    Hilo ni tatizo... sasa ana watu wawili maishani mwake na anajaribu kulinganisha kuwa yupi ni bora na yupi si bora... watu wanatofautiana..kila mtu ana mapungufu yake!! huyo aliyenae sasa mapungufu yake ni kutokujali, je anajua mapungufu ya yule mwingine? tuseme mapungufu ya yule mwingine yawe ni kicheche ( yeye wanawake kwa saanaa)... yupi bora kati ya hao wawili?
    Huwezi pata mume kwa kuwa na wanaume wawili au watatu kwa pamoja na kujaribu kulinganisha kati yao!! ni makosa makubwa sana ambayo sasa watu wanafanya na yamekuwa common.. na ni kwa wote wake kwa waume.

    Lakini je, huyo mpenzi wa sasa ni lini ameacha kujali? ana hakika yeye anamjali na kumsikiliza? isiwe ni upande mmoja..kuwa anataka kujaliwa lakini upande mwingine yesi mwaminifu na hajali hisia za mwenzake... kwa mfano unadhani ataendelea kujali kama akijua kuwa huyo rafikiyo ana mtu mwingine sasa ambaye yeye anadai anajali?

    Kuna mengi hapa, nachokiona ni kuwa amemchoka huyo mpenzi wake wa sasa na anatafuta excuse ya kumwacha kwa kuwa ana mtu mpya anayempenda... kama ndio afanye tu... maana napo upendo ukishapotea ni tabu kurudi.
     
  16. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Mar 28, 2012
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    Matured enough!
     
  17. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Dec 21, 2011
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    Naomba nieleweke kuwa sio kwamba ana wapenzi wawili kwa pamoja ila huyo wa pili ndo kwanza anapropose na mahusiano yaliyopo kwa sasa ni urafiki wa kawaida mapenzi bado. Huyo wa kwanza ndo yupo hivyo na amejitahidi kumvumilia ila kachoka. kwa maelezo yake na hata mimi pia nimeshuhudia yeye huwa anamjali sana huyo mkaka tena sana ila huyo mkaka haoneshi response wala appriceation yoyte ni kama anampigia mbuzi gitaa. Unajua katika yote mtu akikujali lazzima atajitahidi kwua mwaminifu kwako kujali huwa kuna combine vitu vingi na uaminifu ukiwemo. Kwa kweli katu hajamchoka huyo bf wake na anampenda sana ila alichochoka ni kuvumilia mambo yake. Asane kwa kunielewa!
     
  18. vanmedy

    vanmedy JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Mar 28, 2012
    Joined: Oct 12, 2011
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    Huyo bf wa siku zote anatambulika kwao huyo mdada. Je alishaonesha dalili za kuoa or engagement?
     
  19. N

    Nyakwaratony JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Mar 29, 2012
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    Hapana hatambuliki, anatambulika kwa marafiki tena wachache tu.... Kuhusu kuoa huwa jamaa anasema kuwa anatamani kuoa ila hawi muwazi kama anatamani kumuoa huyu mdada..... Siku moja huyo mdada akamuuliza tumekuwa wapenzi kwa muda sasa je unafikiri tutaendelea kukaa hivi mpaka lini? makaka akamjibu nipe muda nilifikirie. so dalili za ndoa ama engegement hakuna!!!!
     
  20. OLESAIDIMU

    OLESAIDIMU JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Mar 29, 2012
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    When traditions meets technology..........................
     
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