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Ambitious Women!!

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by Mkeshahoi, Jul 20, 2010.

  1. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jul 20, 2010
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    Sina nia mbaya na hili.. ni mtazamo wangu wangu tu!!

    Wengi wa wanawake waliofanikiwa/ wenye njaa ya kufanikiwa kielimu/ kiuchumi wamejikuta wanapoteza wenzi wao au wanaishia kuwa na mahusiano tata.!! Wengi wao au.. wameachika.. wanachelewa sana kupata wenza wa maisha... wanaishia kuwa 'chakula' ya serenget boys.. wanazeeka wakiwa wapweke.. na zaidi ya yote watoto wao, licha ya kuwa na maisha bora, wanakosa 'elimu dunia' na kuishia kuharibikiwa..

    Binafsi namtazama mwanamke kama nguzo ya familia...Aghalabu, nyumba isiyo na mama mambo mengi yahusuyo familia(umoja, maadili n.k.) huenda mrama. familia nyingi ambazo ziko imara,mwanamke ni kama amejitoa sadaka(kuachana na malengo ya mafanikio makubwa) kwa ajili ya mumewe, wanawe na familia kwa ujumla..!!

    The more the ambitious the woman is, chances are, she will lead a lonely and emotionally distressful family life and vice versa!!

    Kwa mwanaume kuwa na mahusiano imara na huyu'ambitious' woman(sorry for kiswakinge), akubali kuwa na utwala wa "kura ya turufu" au akubali kuwa ka-"bushoke"!!

    Nakubali kukosolewa!!
     
  2. Baba_Enock

    Baba_Enock JF-Expert Member

    #2
    Jul 20, 2010
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    Mkeshahoi!

    Vipi tena? Akina Mama hawajaamka sasa hivi!

    Well:Well:Well

    Utafiti wako upo ki-ujumla zaidi - Binafsi nachelea kuandika kuwa wanawake waliofanikiwa kimaisha: Wamefanikiwa kuwa na familia BORA as well.

    Pia wanawake wenye kiu ya Elimu, equally they have been blessed with lovely families.

    In general, utafiti wako umetumia sample ndogo sana!
     
  3. T

    Tall JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jul 20, 2010
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    Mwanamke mtafutaji hupambana na matatizo mengi.......katika safari hiyo ya kutafuta maisha, hupata hasara katika maeneo kadhaa.cha msingi kabla ya kuanza kutafuta aamue,aelewe na akubali.......kupoteza hayo yatakayojitokeza
     
  4. kaburunye

    kaburunye JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jul 20, 2010
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    Umeongea point kabisa. Najua ukweli huu wengi hawataki kuusikia lakini huwezi kushindana na ukweli ukashinda. Mi nadhani wanawake hawakupaswa kupewa majukumu mengi zaidi ya kulea familia. Leo tuna kizazi korofi kwa sababu watoto hawalelewi majumbani kwao. Mama anaondoa saa 11 asubuhi na anrudi saa 4 usiku (almost 6 days a week) na akifika nyumbani anakuwa na ma-stress kibao ya kazini hana muda na watoto wala mme. kama mwanaume unawahi kurudi nyumbani utakoma maana kero zote za home ambazo huna competency ya kuzi-handle itabidi ukukuruke nazo tu.

    Lazima ifike mahali tujiulize nini hasa maana ya maisha. Tusikimbilie kusaka pesa kwa kudhani ndo tunatafuta maisha. Mi policy ya nyumbani kwangu ni kuwa sitaki mke wangu awe busy na kazi kuliko familia. Ni heri tuishi kwa mshahara wangu lakini mke wangu awe na muda na familia. Maana usipokuwa makini watoto watakuja kuwa a very big liability kwa kukosa malezi. Mi nikifika home nataka nimkute wife, ameshaweka mambo sawa na anakuwa na nguvu ya chakula ya usiku ya watu wakubwa (i.e. tendo la nanihiiii).
    Sasa unakuta mwanamke anarudi saa 4 usiku ana-mastress kibao ya kazi, ataweza kweli kushiriki tendo la ndoa na mmewe vizuri. Let us face it - kuna mambo/kazi ambazo wanawake hawakuumbwa kuzifanya ila ni ukichwa ngumu tu na haya mambo ya gender balance ambayo hayatusaidii kwa lolote.
     
  5. katelero

    katelero JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Jul 20, 2010
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    OMG, utapeleka binti yako shule kweli, kwa mtizamo ulio nao kuhusu mwanamke nawaonea huruma watoto wako wa kike, kumbuka mwanamke sio chombo cha starehe
     
  6. Lyangalo

    Lyangalo JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 20, 2010
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    ni kweliulichokisema mkeshaboi, kwa sababu tamilia iliyo bora lazima mwananke awe bora zaidi kwa mambo ya nyumbani!
     
  7. roselyne1

    roselyne1 JF-Expert Member

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    ..kuna ukweli fulani ktk usemayo,ila sio kwa wanawake wote...
    ...I doubt kama nyumba 'zote' ambazo mama ni mama wa nyumbani,ndio zinatoa familia bora...
    ...unaweza ibua mwanamke hajasoma na hana kazi na akawa 'bogus' nyumbani vile vile .... :painkiller::painkiller:
     
  8. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 21, 2010
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    Ni kweli wadau .... Simaanishi wote.. ila sehemu kubwa ya familia ambazo mwanamke ameamua kuwa ambitious(more than a man sometime.) They end up losers in family life... kama si kupoteza mume, basi watoto watakuwa hasara tupu...! !! Nashawishika kuamini mwanamke kuwa moja ya chanzo cha kizazi korofi cha watoto kwani wanaugeuka wajibu wa kusimamia kikamilifu uimara wa familia(hata kama ana kazi nzuri )

    Ili kuwa na familia imara..mwanamke ni muhimu awe na aina ya kazi ambazo mwisho wa siku huweza kurejea home mapema na kuwa na muda na familia!!
     
  9. Mkeshahoi

    Mkeshahoi JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 21, 2010
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    Ni kweli wadau .... Simaanishi wote.. ila sehemu kubwa ya familia ambazo mwanamke ameamua kuwa ambitious(more than a man sometime.) They end up losers in family life... kama si kupoteza mume, basi watoto watakuwa hasara tupu...! !! Nashawishika kuamini mwanamke kuwa moja ya chanzo cha kizazi korofi cha watoto kwani wanaugeuka wajibu wa kusimamia kikamilifu uimara wa familia(hata kama ana kazi nzuri )

    Ili kuwa na familia imara..mwanamke ni muhimu awe na aina ya kazi ambazo mwisho wa siku huweza kurejea home mapema na kuwa na muda na familia!!
     
  10. The Boss

    The Boss JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 23, 2010
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    well behaved women never make history.........
     
  11. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #11
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Aaaah Boss bana umenifanya machozi yanilengelenge....unajua hiyo ilikuwa signature ya my favorite person, the one and only, the iron lady, the never back down to no one, tough as nails, my in-law Mwafrika Wa Kike...damn I miss her. Life (at least for me) in JF has never been the same since she left. She was the real deal.

    She's the only one who understood me. She had my back and I had hers. Damn I miss her. Her name has been stuck in my head like a melody. Hopefully one day she'll come back to at least say hi.
     
  12. WomanOfSubstance

    WomanOfSubstance JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 24, 2010
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    Nimekuwekea THANKS siyo kwa vile nakubaliana na mawazo yako yote 100% la hasha! Bold ya blue ni maeneo ambayo nakubaliana nawe kuwa kuna cha kujifunza na kuelewa. Kwenye nyekundu mhh!
    Nitapenda kukuuliza maswali machache:
    1.Kuna sababu gani wewe kama mzazi kumsomesha binti yako na kumgharamia sana hadi ahitimu kwa kiwango cha juu? Inamaana unamtayarisha kwa ajili ya mwanaume ili aje kufanya kitendo cha....... tu na kulea matokeo ( watoto?)

    2. Wewe binafsi uko tayar kiasi gani kumudu kutunza familia yako kipato wise - uweze kubeba majukumu yote ya kuhudumia familia - mke, watoto na ndugu wenye kuhitaji msaada?

    Asante na natarajia utanipa majibu.
     
  13. Gaijin

    Gaijin JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 24, 2010
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    nakubaliana na mtoa mada kwa asilimia kubwa sana.......lakini nna sababu moja kubwa ya niongeza ningependa kukukumbusha.

    wanawake wenye malengo makubwa wanakosa life partners sometimes kwa sababu wanaume wanakuwa hawajamini kuwa na wanawake wa kihivyo kutokana na ati kuogopa kuendeshwa. Hii nafikri pia inachangia kwa kiwango kikubwa. Mwanamme aliyemalza form 4 mara nyingi unakuta hawezi kuoa mtu alomaliza first degree licha ya phd!

    bila ya shaka nakubaliana na wewe kuwa hizi kazi za kukaaa muda wote kazni wakatu una watoto wa kulea haina mantiki na ningeshauri wanawake wenzangu kutafuta namna ya kubalance kazi na familia na ikishindkana moja kwa moja utunze watoto mpaka wakiwa wakubwa kidogo ndio urudi kazini
     
  14. J

    JokaKuu Platinum Member

    #14
    Jul 24, 2010
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    ..hivi wanaume wanavyokunywa pombe mpaka usiku wa manane, 7 days a week, hawaathiri malezi ya familia zao?

    ..je, jukumu la kutunza watoto ni la mwanamke peke yake?
     
  15. b

    bitimkongwe JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 24, 2010
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    Sadakta Joka kuu! Hivi jukumu la kulea watoto ni la wanawake tu? Hizo ni fikra za kizamani kabisa. Kwa kweli mukijipanga vizuri familia itakwenda vizuri tu hata mukiwa na degree ngapi humo ndani ya nyumba.

    Eti Kaburunye kabisa anasema kero za home hana competency nazo! Nani alisomea hizo kabla ya nyinyi wawili kupata hao watoto? Na kama ilivyo DNA kila mtoto anakuja na design za tabia zake mwenyewe duniani. Angalieni baadhi ya vijana wakorofi wanatoka kwenye familia zinazomwabudu Mungu na kila kitu kiko sawa ndani ya nyumba lakini bado huwa wanaheuka. Ni kwa nini?
     
  16. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #16
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Nakubaliana na wewe roselyne1, mambo ya kutunza nyumba na familia ni kwa jinsi mwanamke anavyoijali familia yake. kuna wanawake wapo nyumbani tu na hata hawaijali familia kama wale wanaofanya kazi.
    kama mwanamke anaijali familia yake atatafuta muda wa familia, hata kama yupo busy kiasi gani.
    Wamama tufanye kazi, tusome, tufanye biashara, na vile vile (kama tumeamua kuwa na familia) tujali familia zetu.
     
  17. J

    JokaKuu Platinum Member

    #17
    Jul 24, 2010
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    ..mimi nafikiri kids need love, a sense of security, and direction.

    ..vilevile mambo ya malezi nadhani ni complex sana na kama mtoto "ataharibikiwa" basi si lazima lawama zote zielekezwe kwa mzazi.

    ..unaweza ukawa unalea mwanao vizuri tu, lakini akitoka nyumbani anakutana na influence nyingine za ajabu-ajabu.

    ..pia vipi kuhusu wale single parents ambao wanawalea watoto vizuri mpaka kufikia watoto hao ku-excell. je single-parents wana luxury ya muda wa kukaa naku-monitor watoto kama house wives? how do some single parents succeed in raising their kids, while some married couples fail do to the same?
     
  18. Nyani Ngabu

    Nyani Ngabu Platinum Member

    #18
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Can't argue with that.

    Kama mtoto akiharibikiwa then you will have to look at the totality of the circumstances that led to huyo mtoto kuharibikiwa. In some instances you can't just wholly lay the blame on the parents. Parents can only do so much. The child also has a responsibility to listen, make the right choices, and stay away from bad influences. I also believe that some people are genetically predisposed to making the wrong choices in life i.e. kuharibikwa.


    Yep...that's peer pressure. Nakumbuka mimi wakati niko sekondari baadhi ya watu niliokuwa na hang nao walikuwa wanaona ujanja kutoroka shule. Ukiwa na mahudhurio hafifu, usipojali kujituma darasani, ukiwa mtu wa kujirusha kiwanja, n.k. ndio ulikuwa unaonekana 'shapu' au 'street smart'. I guess fainali ilikuwa ukubwani maana leo hii baadhi yao ukikutana nao yaani ni choka mbaya na utapigwa mizinga hadi utatia akili.

    Success in raising your kids will come only if your kids cooperate. If they don't, then no matter what you do will be futile. Mimi nimeshaona watoto wa maprofesa kibao hapo UDSM wakiharibikiwa licha ya kuzaliwa na kulelewa kwenye academia. Baba msomi, mama msomi na wote wanatambua umuhimu wa malezi bora kwa mtoto. Wanawapeleka watoto wao kwenye shule nzuri tu lakini mtoto anakuja kuharibikiwa. Why?
     
  19. J

    JokaKuu Platinum Member

    #19
    Jul 24, 2010
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    Nyani Ngabu,

    ..thanks for your response. you make a lot of sense.

    ..kidogo mimi nimechoshwa na jamaa aliye-comment kwamba watoto wanaharibikiwa kwasababu mama zao wako too busy.

    ..binafsi nadhani hata kina baba wakiwa too busy and overly occupied with their careers na hawa-allocate muda wowote ule kuangalia watoto, basi wanaweza kuathiri welfare ya familia zao.

    ..nadhani hata mahusiano mabaya kati ya baba na mama yanaweza kuwaathiri watoto kwa namna moja au nyingine.

    ..again, this is such a wide and complex issue. tunapolijadili ni lazima tu-approciate such reality.
     
  20. malisak

    malisak JF-Expert Member

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    Jul 24, 2010
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    sijui kama nitakua nakosea ila mimi nadhani ni akili finyu za mtu binafsi sidhani kama kupata mafanikio kuliko mwenzi wako ndio iwe chanzo cha kumnyanyasa ilhali uliapa kumvumilia katika shida na raha.huo unakua ni unafki wa kijinga aidha kwa kuiga au kupata ushauri mbovu mimi nina uwezo kuliko mume wangu na wala simdharau sote ni sawa tena nafanya kazi kwa bidii ili nimsaidie kwa nguvu zote asijihisi mpweke tena nimewasha moyo wa mapenzi kwa petrol kwenye chanzo cha gesi ni raha tu.
     
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