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adhabu za watoto kutoka kwa wazazi/walezi.............

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by gfsonwin, Oct 3, 2012.

  1. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

    #1
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    Habari zenu wana jamvi wenzangu.

    Leo naona nije na swali hili hapa juu ya adhabu anazopewa mtoto anapokosea kutoka kwa wazazi/walezi wake.

    -Hivi je ni ipi njia nzuri ya kumuadhibu mtoto anapokosea?
    -je wazazi wa kike kwanini huwa tunaona kama watoto wanaonewa wanapoadhibiwa na wazazi wa kaiume? ( hili laweza likawa sio kwa wanawake wote but most of them)
    -je katika malezi kipimo cha adhabu ni kipi?
    -kwa wale watoto ambao n above 18 hawa je adhabu zao zikoje?

    naomba kila mmoja achangie kwa kina pasi kunichakachua uzi.

    nawasilisha.
     
  2. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

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    Kikristo/kibiblia yapo mafundisho kadhaa kuhusu adhabu:
     
  3. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    mmh, kazi ipo.

    Mara kadhaa, naona mzazi mmoja akiwa mkali mwingine anakuwa mpole.

    Mara nyingi aliye mpole huwa anatetea akiona mtoto anaadhibiwa.

    Kuna watu huwa wanasema mama zao waliwahi kuwachapa, wakati mie haikuwahi tokea mama akachapa mtoto.

    Adhabu kama adhabu nyingine ina sifa zake.
    1. Iwe ya kiwango kulingana na kosa
    2. Itolewe muda huo huo kosa linapotokea
    3. Iwe consistency, namaanisha kama kuiba sh. 100 ni kosa, mtoto akifanya kosa hiilo adhabu itolewe ili ajue kweli hilo ni kosa.

    Athari za adhabu:
    1. Mtoto kuwa sugu
    2. Mtoto kujitoa kwenye shughuli zote kwa hofu ya kukosea.
    3. Mtoto kuamua kuwa mwanaharakati kwa kujitetea
     
  4. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    mkuu asante kwa kuongelea kibiblia but nataka tuongelee kijamii ama kikawaida manake wapo wengine ambao mafunsdisho hayo ya biblia wanayakosa.

    hebu niambie umeshawah kumwadhibu mwanao halafu mkeo akakasirika? na kama wewe ni mama jiulize hali hiyo imewah kukutokea?
     
  5. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    Kongosho umejibu vyema sana na nimependezwa kwamba umepagusa nilipotaka. hivi wafikiri athari za adhabu zina outweigh athari za kutoadhibu? je ni sahihi kwa mzazi mmoja kumtete mtoto wakati anapoadhibiwa na mzazi mwenzie? na je nini ama yapi yatakuwa matokeo ya wazazi wote kushirikiana katika kumuadhibu mtoto?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  6. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

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    Ndio, natumia kiboko hasa kwa watoto wadogo (about 3 to 6 olds) ingawa si mara kwa mara. Inatokea mara nyingine tunatofautiana na mke wangu hasa kiwango cha adhabu - sidhani kama anakasirika hasa, ila anakuwa tu anawish adhabu ingekuwa ndogo kuliko niliyotoa.
     
  7. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    je wafikiri kuna athari yyte itokanayo ama itakayotokana na yeye kutofuridhika ama kutoafiki adhabu uitoayo?
     
  8. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

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    Inaweza kuwepo (hasa kwa mtoto) kama kutoridhika kwake anakuonesha wazi mbele ya mtoto/watoto.
     
  9. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

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    Adhabu kwa mtoto inategemea na kosa lenyewe. Makosa madogo madogo ni vyema kumuonya kwa upendo na kumueleza kinagaubaga juu ya kosa alilofanya na madhara yake. Kama akirudia, adhabu ya viboko bado ina nafasi yake vinginevyo atajenga ujeuri na kiburi! Kumbuka samaki mkunje angali mbichi!

    Ila pia kuna makosa mengine ni mkubwa, hayo huwezi kuonya kwa mdomo pekee yake, unachanganya na mkong'oto. Unamuadhibu kwa lengo jema la kumundisha na siyo kumjeruhi au kumkomoa.

    Huu ni mtazamo wangu, najua kila mzazi ana mtazamo wake ktk hili hivyo nakubali kuwa challenged!
     
  10. Kongosho

    Kongosho JF-Expert Member

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    hakuna dunia isiyokuwa na adhabu.

    Hata kazini ukiharibu unapewa warning au waweza kunyimwa bonus.

    Adhabu hutegemea tamaduni za eneo husika.

    Huko walikoendelea mtoto anaweza kupewa adhabu ya kutoangalia TV au kwenda kukaa chumbani kwake.

    Mie mtoto wa kiswahili ukinipa adhabu ya kukaa chumbani, kwanza nafurahi sifanyi kazi, na unakuta nimepiga usingizi.

    Adhabu tumezoea fimbo au kipigo.
    Kwa hiyo adhabu ikitolewa kulingana na kosa, na kulingana na umri wa mkosaji ni faida tupu.

    Inagine dunia bila adhabu? Hakuna magereza, hakuna polisi, tutaishi kweli?

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  11. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    umenena vyema kaka mkubwa HP lakin hebu nikuulize swali je unadhani wazazi wa leo huwa tunajali juu ya kuwakanya na hata kuwaadhibu wanetu? na je huwa tunachunga adhabu zetu zisiwe za kumkomoa mtoto? na je wadhani lengo lilokufanya uadhibu ambalo ni kubadili tabia linafikiwa kwaa adhabu tuzitoazo?
     
  12. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    ma dia Kongosho umejibu sehemu moja ya swali langu je sehem ya pili na ya tatu hujajibu ambayo ni " je ni sahihi kwa mzazi mmoja kumtetea mtoto wakati anapoadhibiwa na mzazi mwenzie? na nini matokeo ya wazazi kushirikiana katika umuadhibu mtoto?"
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  13. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    athari hizo ni kama zipi?
     
  14. SMU

    SMU JF-Expert Member

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    Mtoto anaweza kuamini kuwa ameonewa na hivyo kutojifunza!
     
  15. gfsonwin

    gfsonwin JF-Expert Member

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    pia mtt anaweza kumchukia mzazi anaye muadhibu na pia humjengea mtoto kiburi na jeuri na hata humfanya mtoto kuwa mbabe. sasa je wafikiri ni kwanini baadhi ya wazazi wanafanya hayo? na je nini kifanyike ili yasiendelee kutokea?
     
  16. charminglady

    charminglady JF-Expert Member

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    ninaishishi na mwanangu 9yrs na mdogo wangu 11 yrs. mara wafanyapo kosa huwa nawaonya kwa kutumia maadili ya dini na kuwapa mifano ya watoto watukutu kwenye makosa madogo madogo kama kusema uongo, kutofanya homework, kufanya uharibifu n.k. kwenye makosa makubwa kama udokozi, kutusi na mengine kama hayo huwa nalazimika kutumia adhabu ya viboko.

    huwa natumia viboko vya kistaarabu, sio kumpiga mtoto kama naua nyoka. huwa nawachapa makalioni. thanks God huwa wanajirekebisha na kurudi kwenye mstari!
     
  17. HorsePower

    HorsePower JF-Expert Member

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    Ukweli ni kwamba wengi hawafanyi hivi, lakini jambo la msingi la kukumbuka ni kuwa hakuna marefu yasiyo na ncha! Nani aliyejuwa kuwa ipo siku Tanzania kutakuwa na vyama vya upinzani vyenye nguvu hivi? Si nao walianza kama utani? Formula ni hiyo hiyo. Kama kweli tunataka mabadiliko, nilazima tuyaanze kwenye individual level, then yatakuwa na kushika tamati. Ni lazima tuwe na starting point. Ni lazima sisi wenye huo ufahamu tuanze na wengine watafuata taratibu ...
     
  18. m

    maisara Member

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    adhabu itolewe kilingana na kosa na itolwe muda huhuo ambao mtoto ametenda kosa, siyo ntoto kakosea asubuhi ww mama unamwambia subiri baba yako aje jioni utamtambua afu hyo baba aje sa nne usiku mtoto kishasahau unaanza kumchapa wala huko si kumfunza bali nikumkomaza na kumjengea uoga.
     
  19. BADILI TABIA

    BADILI TABIA JF-Expert Member

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    mtoto akikosea ni bakora tu....ila nazo hutolewa kwa kiasi.....
    Kwanza lazima uzumgumze na mtoto ajue kosa, madhara yake na umkanye asirudie.... Akirudia kiboko halali yake.......

    Kama wazazi hamkubaliani na adhabu ni vyema mkazungumza chumbani na kuondoa tofauti hiyo na si mbele ya watoto....
     
  20. snowhite

    snowhite JF-Expert Member

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    ili adhabu itimize lengo ambalo ni kuonya na kujifunza,lazima haya yawepo
    -umjengee mtoto mazingira ya kumpongeza pia katika makuzi yake
    hii itamsaidia kujua ikiwa ameafanya vizuri ni hongera /zawadi na akikosea ni adhabu!
    -muadhibu mtoto mara baada ya kosa,ukiliwekeza mpaka baadaye unatengeneza mazingira ya kisasi
    -kama nyie ni wazazi wote muwe na mamlaka ya kutoa adhabu na mtoto atambue hilo kuwa naweza kupewa adhabu na yeyote na sio huyu tu hivyo kutengeneza chuki kwa anayemuadhibu na uasi kwa siye muadhibu
    -adhabu ilingane na kosa na umri wa mkosaji
    -usiadhibu mtoto kwa kumkomoa/kulipa kisasi
    -ni muhimu kumjua mtoto kiasi cha kujua aina ya adhabu atakayoitafsiri kama adhabu,mf kwa mtoto aanayependa kujisomea ukimwambia adhabu yako ni kusoma kitabu hiki,hujampa adhabu lakini kwa asiyependa hiyo ni adhabu!
    -muache mtoto atambue na kujutia kosa lake(kulia)haina maana unamchapa mtoto kisha hapo hapo unaanza ''njoo mwanangu enh"au mtoto kachapwa kwa baba anakimbilia kwa mama nawe mama unampokea na kuanza kubembeleza,mwache alie atanyamaza tu(rejection pia ni aina ya adhabu)
    -ukishamuadhibu mtoto,MSAMEHE!(kumsamehe sio kumuita na kuanza kubembeleza no!endelea na shughuli zake akirudi kwenye mood mnaanza upya!
    ANGALIZO
    usifanye mtoto akariri aina ya adhabu!inatengeneza usugu
    si kila kosa linarekebishwa kwa fimbo
     
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