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Abuse..( Dhuluma)

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by afrodenzi, May 10, 2011.

  1. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #1
    May 10, 2011
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    • Verbal abuse (matusi),
    • Physical abuse (kimwili),
    • Sexual abuse(unyanyasaji wa ki jinsia,)
    • (Neglect)kutelekezwa)
    • Hate (chuki)
    Ni vitu ambavyo viko sana kwenye jamii yetu
    ni vitu ambavyo vinatokea kila saa, tonaona jinsi watoto wetu
    wanavyo danganywa na wazee wazima, tunaona jinsi mama zetu
    wanavyopigwa na kutukanwa, tunaona jinsi watu wanavyotengwa na jamii
    sababu ya vitu wanavyofanya au jinsi walivyo na ambayo ipo kila sekunde
    ni sisi kwa sisi kuchukiana .

    wandugu ningeomba sana leo tuongelee hizi Dhuluma..

    Nini kinampeleka mtu kufanya haya mambo??
    Je kila afanyaye haya mambo ni mtu mmbaya??
    na ni vipi tunaweza kuwasaidia waliokuwa kwenye hizi
    situation .... You are more than welcome to share anything....

    (samahani wakuu ningeomba sana tutumie lugha ya kiswahili na English kidogo)

    (ili kila mtu aelewe )
    AD
     
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy JF-Expert Member

    #2
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    Ngoja nifikirie......
     
  3. M

    Marytina JF-Expert Member

    #3
    May 10, 2011
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    hapa pagumu sio mchezo
     
  4. Dena Amsi

    Dena Amsi JF-Expert Member

    #4
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    Nimesoma hapo kwenye red nakuelewa zaidi hapa kwingine ngoja niperuzi nitarudi.
     
  5. The Finest

    The Finest JF-Expert Member

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    Ninasita kuchangia kutokana na matatizo niliyoyapata
     
  6. CPU

    CPU JF Gold Member

    #6
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    Naomba niwasilishe hoja binafsi kabla ya kuchangia. Kitumike kiswahili tu kwenye michango, tena kiswahili fasaha sio cha kumun'gunya maneno. Sisi wengine ni maimuna hatujui lugha za wageni

    Topic
    Ngoja nivute stimu nijifanye nimetukanwa na kutemewa mate, kumwagiwa tindikali halafu ntakuja na jibu zuri . . .
     
  7. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #7
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    Nyie watu AD kaleta mada mbona mnakimbia?

    AD umeuliza swali la msingi sana ambalo maelezo yake ni marefu sana ambayo yanaweza kutofautiana kutokana na sehemu, jamii n.k. husika.
    Nitachangia kidogo sana
    AD hivyo vyote ulivyovitaja vina chanzo chake ikiwemo hulka ya mtu yaani mnyanyasaji, mbabe, dhulumat n.k HAta hivyo haya yote yanachangiwa na sisi wenyewe kama wanajamii............... nakumbuka kuna mwandish mmoja alikuwa anazungumzia gender violence alisema "dhulumat, uonevu na manyanyaso yanayotokea ndani ya familia yanachukuliwa kama ni maswala ya familia ambayo hayatakiwi kuzungumzwa hadharani" hii inazuia watu kuwa na nguvu na sauti ya kuyakemea.............
    nikiweza nitarudi AD
     
  8. AshaDii

    AshaDii Platinum Member

    #8
    May 10, 2011
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    • AD Nimependa observation yako...

      Nini kinampeleka mtu kufanya haya mambo??

      Naamini situations tofauti na wahusika tofauti ndo hupelekea kufanya hayo mambo.. Binadamu tumetofautiana, kuna wale wapole mno hata uwafanye nini anakuangalia tu na si kama anapenda ila naturally kaumbwa kua hivyo passive.. kuna wengine yeye kazi yake ni kutumia watu always kwa manufaa yake (US ingekua mtu ingekua mfano mzuri) hajali ataumia au lah! hapendi au lah! etc.. Kuna wengine ukimgusa tu umewasha moto wa petrol kuzima kazi ipo... Kuna wengine wao hawajali nini unawafanyia labda kama kitamuathiri negatively ndo ana react... na wengine wengi... Hivyo kupelekea watu kua na matendo tofauti towards the same thing....

      Je kila afanyaye haya mambo ni mtu mmbaya??

      Sasa ugumu ndo unakuja hapo, mana pande mbili zinapokua in logger heads lazima wote wana watu wao ambao wanaona kua mbaya ni yule ambae yuko against mtu wao.. But logically kwa mtu ambae hajali kua muhusika ni wa karibu wako au lah, lazima uangalie nature ya tatizo lililotodea na nature ya huyo mtu wako. For instance mtu wako ni mpole mno na ni mtu wa ku ignore siku ukisikia alimaka na kumtukana mtu - you will directly justify kua ni lazima alionewa na alikua na haki.
      But nikitolea mfano wa sexual harrassment (mo' common ni wanaume kwa wanawake) inategemea. Unakuta maybe mdada anaonesha wrong signals kwa jamaa wanaefanya kazi office moja - smile kwa sana, mara umeinama kidogo ukilekeza body parts kwa the guy etc. Kaka zetu hawa ambae ni lijali anaweza fikiri wamtaka hivyo sikumoja nae anagusa firmly boobs zako - alafu unakimbilia management kua you have been sexually harassed - nani mbaya hapo?

      na ni vipi tunaweza kuwasaidia waliokuwa kwenye hizi
      situation ....


      AD kwa perspective yangu kuweza kuwasaidia inabidi kuangalia tatizo, wahusika na source ya hilo tatizo kwa undani na bila bias...
     
  9. Columbus

    Columbus JF-Expert Member

    #9
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    Chanzo cha yote hayo ni ubinfsi uliopitiliza miongoni mwa mtu na mtu, familia, jamii na hata kitaifa. Njia pekee ya kuleta mabadilko sahihi ni viongozi wa kitaifa kuishi maisha yanayoweza kuigwa na wale wanaowaongoza ili waliopo chini wafuate nyayo zao.
     
  10. T

    TAITUZA Member

    #10
    May 10, 2011
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    enheeeee,endeleeeni!
     
  11. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #11
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    nasubiri mawazo yako
     
  12. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #12
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    hahahahahah lol
    karibu tena
     
  13. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #13
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    mmhhh
    My dear asante sana
    kama topic inakupeleka kule usijali
    kabisa asante sana kwa kuisoma..
     
  14. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    daahhh
    Hivi hii topic ni ngumu kiasi hicho???
    naona kila mtu anakimbia mmmhh
     
  15. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

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    My dear
    kwanza nashukuru sana
    kwa wewe kuweka mawili matatu ya muhimu
    naona kila mtu anachapa mwendo mmmhhhh

    sehemu iliyonivuta zaidi ni hapo kwenye red..
    Nadhani hilo ndilo tatizo kubwa tulilo nalo nafikiri
    kwa vile ni baba yangu na mume wa mama yangu
    kila afanyacho kinabaki ndani ya nyumba hatutaki kumvunjia kheshima
    au kila mtu anaona familia yetu ni nzuri sana basi hatutasema lolote.
    au ni watu tu wanaogopa?......

    ukiweza kurudi naomba unijibie hili swali dear..
    nini tofauti kati ya punishment ya kawaida na abuse ???
    maana naona wengi wanachanganya sana haya..
    haya ukiweza ntakuwa hapa nakusubiri asante tena..
     
  16. Elia

    Elia JF-Expert Member

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    AD, haya husababishwa na sababu nyingi kama
    Matusi: Hili hutokana na makuzi, dharau, jeuri na (ujuaji kwa madereva wa dsm) au kujihami
    Kimwili; ubabe, uonezi na jeuri ya pesa
    Ngono; uonezi, jeuri ya pesa, ubabe, tamaa na ulevi
    kutelekezwa: uoga wa maisha, uvivu wa kufikiri, tamaa, ukatiri na ubinafsi
    hate: visasi binafsi na vya kurithishwa, wivu na historia mbaya
    Katika yote hayo ni ulimbukeni tu unaosumbua

    Ni mtizamo wangu tu
     
  17. MwanajamiiOne

    MwanajamiiOne Platinum Member

    #17
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    AD mpenzi nitakujibu kwa namna ninavyoelewa mimi kama mimi....Punishment ni ile reward ambayo mtu anapata kwa kile alichokifanya..........s/he deserves to be punished kwa alichokitenda............lakini hiyo punishment iwe imezingatia vigezo vingi including respect ya mtu, utu wa mtu na position au uhusiano kati ya muadhibiwa na mtoa adhabu.

    Abuse inaweza isiwe punishment kwa maana ya kuwa si lazima anayekuwa abused awe amekosea au amefanya kitu cha kumfanya aabusiwe. Abuse inawezatokea palipo na uonevu, inakuwa disrespective na haiangalii utu wa anayeadhibiwa/abusiwa. Maneno ya kashfa, dharau, udhalilishaji, disrespect, ignoring n.k vinaangukia kwenye abuse na si adhabu......kupiga bila makosa, kubaka, kulawiti na hata kupata sexual pleassure without the consent of the giver are forms of abuse my darling.
     
  18. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #18
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    Da Asha asante sana mwaya
    kwa kujibu maswali yangu ipasavyo

    kitu kimoja tu ambacho nataka kugusia ni hapo kwenye harassment
    mimi nilikuwa sana sana naelekea kwenye sexual abuse upande wa kifamilia
    sio hiyo ya kujitakia ila ya mtu anakamatwa sema na mjomba wake au house
    girl anakamatwa na baba mwenye nyumba lakini hasemi kitu ..

    una kuta mtu anapoteza hamu ya kuishi au haoni
    maana ya maisha yake yote sababu anatumiwa vibaya
    na kwa wengi hii wanakuwa nayo utakuta mtu ana miaka 40
    lakini bado hajiamini anaweza kufanya kitu chochote maisha
    ajili alidhulumiwa sehemu fulani ya maisha yake wakati yuko mdogo..

    just roughly ukikutana au ukigundua mtu wa namna hii wewe kama wewe
    utamsaidia vipi au utampeleka wapi apate msaada kama wewe huwezi
    na utamfarijiri vipi...??

    samahani kama nimekukaza sana ni kwa benefit ya wengi wakusomao..
    asante
     
  19. afrodenzi

    afrodenzi Platinum Member

    #19
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    Je kuna njia yeyote
    ya kuwaingia au kujaribu
    kuwathibiti watu hao ??

    sababu kweli no one deserve
    to live in such life
     
  20. nnunu

    nnunu JF-Expert Member

    #20
    May 10, 2011
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    .......................................................................................................................................................

    ASHA D UPO SAHIHI KABISA KABISA,
    NA UMENIKUNA SANA HAPO KWENYE MFANO WAKO (RED),
    MANAKE US NI MR NA MRS PERFECT HAWANA MAKOSA KABISA,ILA WAO SIKU ZOTE WANAONA MAKOSA YANAYOFANYWA NA WENZAO TU, PIA WANAJIONA KUWA NI WAO PEKE YAO NDIYO WENYE RUHUSA YA KUTOA ADHABU KWA WAKOSAJI. NA HAKUNA ADHABU NYINGINE ANAYOSTAHILI MKOSAJI ZAIDI YA KIFO......LAKINI NAAMINI KUTOKA NDANI YA MOYO WANGU KUWA IPO SIKU WATAONA MAKOSA YAO NA KUYAKUBALI KULIKO HIVI SASA AMBAPO JAPO WANAYAONA MAKOSA YAO LAKIN HAWAYAKUBALI...HAIJALISHI WATAKUWA WABABE KWA MIAKA MINGAPI LAKINI NAAMINI IPO SIKU ITAFIKA MWISHO WA UBABE WAO.

    Maovu/matendo yote mabaya/huo ubabe/uonevu YOTE YANA CHANZO CHAKE,SABABU ZAKO,
    VICHOCHEO vyake, ambavyo VIPO KATIKA JAMII zetu, na hata vinapoanza kujitokeza tunavidharau na kushindwa kuvikemea, tunapoanza kuchukua hatua tunakuwa tumechelewa au tunachukua hatua ya kutibu/kuzua maua badala ya kushughulikia mizizi yake.
     
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