Dismiss Notice
You are browsing this site as a guest. It takes 2 minutes to CREATE AN ACCOUNT and less than 1 minute to LOGIN

A Soulful Relationship

Discussion in 'Mahusiano, mapenzi, urafiki' started by BAK, Jun 28, 2008.

  1. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #1
    Jun 28, 2008
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
    Messages: 50,091
    Likes Received: 9,790
    Trophy Points: 280
    An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

    Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let
    lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a
    low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes
    open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that
    what you see as faults aren't really important.

    Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws,
    vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more
    obvious.

    If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve,
    you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing
    bother you.

    You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs,
    values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths.

    You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to
    share a life together.

    Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do
    you bring out the best in each other?

    Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete,
    compare, and control?

    What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past
    relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

    You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't
    make someone love you or make someone stay.

    If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you
    won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your
    happiness or responsible for your pain.

    Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not
    the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting
    relationship!

    Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to
    be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

    Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household
    tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily
    exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

    Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

    Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow
    together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow
    without feeling insecure.

    Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be
    together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of
    commitment.

    Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family
    situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

    Don't try to be your husband's mother he already has one. He wants a
    wife. Don't try to be your wife's father she already has one.
    She wants a husband.

    Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for
    richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the
    relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect,
    dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

    The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i.
     
  2. Mchola

    Mchola Member

    #2
    Jun 28, 2008
    Joined: Oct 30, 2007
    Messages: 88
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Thanks Bubu, The message is powerful and very practical. Umenena!!
     
  3. Mbu

    Mbu JF-Expert Member

    #3
    Jun 28, 2008
    Joined: Jan 11, 2007
    Messages: 12,703
    Likes Received: 92
    Trophy Points: 145
    ...and 'quoted' is where all the misunderstandings 'may' start to surface... \I/

    :(
     
  4. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #4
    Jun 30, 2008
    Joined: Mar 3, 2008
    Messages: 2,241
    Likes Received: 20
    Trophy Points: 135
    Ni kweli katika mahusiano lazima kuna some sort of growth.
    You either grow closer or apart.
    You cant stay in the same place.

    so you have to choose which way you want the relationship to go.
     
  5. B

    BABU KIZEE JF-Expert Member

    #5
    Sep 28, 2013
    Joined: May 18, 2013
    Messages: 453
    Likes Received: 5
    Trophy Points: 0
    Mmh! Hii habari ya mujini.
     
  6. gorgeousmimi

    gorgeousmimi JF-Expert Member

    #6
    Sep 28, 2013
    Joined: Jun 21, 2010
    Messages: 8,852
    Likes Received: 290
    Trophy Points: 180
    Bora uwaambie maana watu hawajui mapenzi ni nini wanahitaji darasa kama hili wajifunze!!
     
  7. M

    Mimi92 Member

    #7
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Jul 10, 2013
    Messages: 36
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 0
    Nyc msg
     
  8. k

    kindboy Senior Member

    #8
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Dec 11, 2010
    Messages: 107
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 33
    Brilliant!!!!
     
  9. Heaven on Earth

    Heaven on Earth JF-Expert Member

    #9
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Mar 21, 2013
    Messages: 36,443
    Likes Received: 2,508
    Trophy Points: 280
    Its nice message BAK toka 2008 lakin hadi ukiusoma leo hii

    you get something on it
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  10. Eli79

    Eli79 JF-Expert Member

    #10
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Jan 9, 2013
    Messages: 15,161
    Likes Received: 4,653
    Trophy Points: 280
    Committment is overrated...
    I say once u get married open ur eyes even wider..
    Maisha mafupi jamani..
     
  11. andishile

    andishile JF-Expert Member

    #11
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Apr 1, 2012
    Messages: 1,430
    Likes Received: 10
    Trophy Points: 135
    Ujumbe Mzito Na Wenye Ukweli Mtupu Kwa Soulmates! Asante Kwa Kutupiga Msasa!
     
  12. MSATULAMBALI

    MSATULAMBALI Senior Member

    #12
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Apr 1, 2012
    Messages: 168
    Likes Received: 7
    Trophy Points: 35
    Hii ni zaidi ya sms

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9300 using JamiiForums
     
  13. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #13
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
    Messages: 50,091
    Likes Received: 9,790
    Trophy Points: 280
    True Heaven on earth...It is a very good message that will remain valid for so many years...sijui ni nani kaenda kuufukunyua ujumbe huu wenye miaka mitano na ushee.

     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  14. christine ibrahim

    christine ibrahim JF-Expert Member

    #14
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Feb 26, 2012
    Messages: 11,441
    Likes Received: 626
    Trophy Points: 280
    mh!ama kweli haya mambo si ya kukurupuka!!
    ...msj imetulia
     
  15. Fixed Point

    Fixed Point JF Bronze Member

    #15
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Sep 30, 2009
    Messages: 11,321
    Likes Received: 70
    Trophy Points: 145
    Huu ujumbe kwa kweli kwa ujumla wake ni mzuri sana......
    natamani kuongea kidogo kuhusu hii niliyo-quote.
    hapa ndo watu wengi sana hasa wadada tunakosea katika kuingia kwenye mahusiano ya kudumu (ndoa).
    Utakuta mtu anaona mapungufu fulani toka kwa mwenzi wake ambayo kiukweli kabisa hayapendi na yamakwaza sana lakini bado anang'ang'ania kuingia kwenye ndoa akijifariji kuwa atamrekebisha.....hili ni kosa kubwa sana. Ni afadhali mtu aje abaduilike mkiwa tayari mmeoana, hutajilaumu kuwa ulikosea kuingia kwenye mahusiano, kwamba hiyo ilikuwa nje ya uwezo wako, hukujua kama atabadilika.
    Nafurahiaga sana wakaka wanapotaka kufanya hii life time commitment. Utakuta mkaka alikuwa anatoka na wadada wa ajabu sana wakati anarukaruka, lakini anapotaka kuoa anatafuta "wife material", mtu ambaye hatamwumiza kichwa..... mtu ambaye atampa sababu ya kuifurahia familia yake. Kuna mahali niliwahi soma ujumbe ambao una tafsiri hii "mwanaume anaoa anakitegemea kuwa mkewe hatabadilika.......lakini anabadilika", hii inamaana kuwa anapoingia kwenye ndoa ana-wish mkewe abakie vile vile kama alivyokuwa anamuoa, akimaanisha kuwa chaguo alilofanya ni sahihi kabisa na hataki chochote kibadilike toka kwa mwanamke wake, Ingawa kwa bahati mbaya kadiri maisha yanavyomsukuma huyo binti anaweza kubadilika. hiyo siyo fault ya mwanaume, alijitahidi lakini imeshindikana.
    But kwa upande wa wanawake huo msemo unasema kwamba "mwanamke anaolewa akitegemea mumewe atabadilika...... lakini habadiliki"..... hapo sasa, umeolewa na mtu mwenye tabia za ajabu unajipa moyo kuwa atabadilika tu, miaka inakatika mtu anabaki na mitabia yake..... unabaki kujilaumu maisha yako yoteeee, ulipoteza mwenyewe kete yako.
    MAJUTO NI MJUKUU........
    Asante rafiki BAK kwa ujumbe mzuri, asante aliyeufurumua huko ulikojificha
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  16. BAK

    BAK JF-Expert Member

    #16
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Feb 11, 2007
    Messages: 50,091
    Likes Received: 9,790
    Trophy Points: 280



     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2016
  17. A

    Ave Ave Maria JF-Expert Member

    #17
    Sep 29, 2013
    Joined: Apr 22, 2011
    Messages: 10,761
    Likes Received: 22
    Trophy Points: 0
    Santeeee . .
    Mwenye masikio na asikie.
    Hii habari ya kuingia kwenye ndoa kwa matumaini kuwa mwenzio atabadilika into a type/character you want him/her to . . . ina gharimu sana. So far isn't even promising!!
     
  18. Himidini

    Himidini JF-Expert Member

    #18
    Sep 30, 2013
    Joined: May 8, 2013
    Messages: 5,569
    Likes Received: 140
    Trophy Points: 145
    ^^
    From tasteless relationship to a soulful relationship..it needs certificate of emotional control
    ^^
     
  19. shmd65

    shmd65 JF-Expert Member

    #19
    Oct 6, 2013
    Joined: Aug 13, 2012
    Messages: 489
    Likes Received: 0
    Trophy Points: 35
    Characters za mtu ni kama ngozi na hatuwez badili ngozi ya mtu,once yu mess up ndo basi
    dont hope for a change in some1 characters n altitudes
     
  20. H

    Haika JF-Expert Member

    #20
    Oct 7, 2013
    Joined: Mar 3, 2008
    Messages: 2,241
    Likes Received: 20
    Trophy Points: 135
    Kwa hio kama unataka a good mate. learn and become one.
     
Loading...